People with mainly/only opposite gender friends

[straysweeper]

I was talking with a friend of mine whom is female, and has gotten issues with past boyfriends with only or mainly having male friends. I couldn't help but think perhaps there is something to that, not nesscessarily that they sleep around or not, but I am curious about it.

I mean if your such a good person to have friends, why would you not have other females or males around?

So, what does it say to you, or mean to you if someone has mostly opposite gender friends?

My main thought is it creates a lack of balance not having same sex people around you.

[aelle]

I have a majority of male friends because my professionnal and social activities involve a majority of men. I don't really have a problem making female friends, I just don't specifically go looking for them. I can't imagine why anyone, especially my boyfriend, would have a problem with that (well, I can, but these people wouldn't stay in my life very long).

What do you mean by lack of balance?

[SomeRandomGuy]

I have always primarily had female friends. My best-friend (who is female) also has more male friends. I've never had any problems from having mostly female friends, but my wife knew this about me before we started dating so just considers it part of who I am. My best-friend. on the other hand, has ran into problems from hanging out with mostly males. I think her biggest problems is that a lot of guys have a hard time distinguishing between a girl who just wants to hang out and be friends and a girl who is interested in them sexually. It seems that when a girl is "one of the guys" she is viewed differently than other girls.

[IFeelGood]

I know a couple of women who have told me that they (usually) "do not like women as friends" One woman I know grew up with no sisters and 5 brothers and rarely gets along with other women... even the wives and girlfriends of her brothers, co-workers, etc... This I can see as a problem.

[James81]

I've discovered that women who only have male friends either:

1. Are sorta manly themselves

OR

2. Tend to be REALLY hard to get along with

That's just from my own personal experience and I'm sure there are exceptions to that rule (as you'll see from the girls who come out to quote this post and prove me wrong. )

[BitterFlower]

SomeRandomGuy, my husband and I are the same way.

I mean, I have some female friends, but my closest friends are guys. One, they are the real source for wondering what men think. Sorry, but my female friends just don't know. Plus, my female friends get sensitive. We have fallen out over the simpliest, stupidest things. I just want to hang out, watch some football or basketball, joke around, and be a little aggressive.

My husband is the opposite, he dislikes the machismo of guys and is not really into sports. He prefers to talk. He also likes to speak to women because he wants to know what women think lol.

IA, James81, that it might be that having friends of one gender may signify a tendency of behavior towards that gender. However, I'm not really "mannish" and my husband is not "feminine" (by looks), so I would prefer to say I'm more yang and he's more yin.

I also wanted to add I generally get along with everybody and have a pleasant personality. It's just that I'm drawn more to men as friends than women.

[aggie]

i think there are lot of different reasons and angles to this.

while i was married the first time and then single a couple of my best friends were male.

i tended to prefer the company of the men where i worked because they just didn't get all worked up over little things, they were more easy going and funnier.

i have always gotten along well with both sexes and enjoyed their company. i really do think as true confidants opposite sexes can be both a better listener and more objective in their advice.

i too, think it is difficult at first for some men to initially not look at a woman friend as a sexual being... to be able to appreciate that fact and take it no further and just be friends may or may not be all that easy. i am sure it can be a problem for women as well.

my husband and i have a dear woman friend who actually became his friend first and they have socialized without me. i guess you just know who can really be in that situation where there is no need for concern or suspicion.

[James81]

Originally Posted by aggie

i too, think it is difficult at first for some men to initially not look at a woman friend as a sexual being... to be able to appreciate that fact and take it no further and just be friends may or may not be all that easy. i am sure it can be a problem for women as well.

With me, it's either there or it's not.

What I mean by that is that if I have sexual attraction to a woman, then it's a pretty good bet that I'll never want to be JUST her friend, so I tend to remove myself from situations where I'm attracted to a girl, want more from her, but she doesn't want more from me. Those relationships are far too draining for me and I've learned that the best thing is to just avoid them.

On the other hand, there are women I have no sexual attraction too, and, in those cases, I'm open to pursuing friendship with her so long as she doesn't have feelings for me.

[aggie]

i think that would be a guideline for anyone exploring an opposite sex friendship. if you have anything that would "stress" the friendship for any or all parties involved...it just would seem to not worth it and probably would not end up a good friendship anyway.

[DaveM]

Women mainly prefer to talk about feelings and men about stuff. So if a girl does prefer to talk about stuff she naturally spend time with people that feel the same way.

Thats why gay men have many female friends. They prefer to talk about emotions.

[LVGeneration]

I am a female, and although I have had mostly female best friends, I can say I enjoy the company of male friends better than the company of most females.
To explain, I think most females I've encountered are too moody, they complain too much, are too self absorbed, etc. It's not true for all women, and my best friends that are females are not like that. But growing up liking basketball, climbing trees and loving the science channel, I was spending more time with the boys, as I couldn't find many girls liking the same stuff I did. As a teenager, girls were more interested in dating, makeup, clothes, not playing basketball and talking about the Universe
As I grew up I noticed that most girls are still interested in the same things as in high school, so I don't feel I have lots in common with most of them.