Transmuting Sexual Energy; Ejaculation Control

[Silence Dogood]

Hello, this is my first post on the forums. I'm not sure if this is the right sub-forum for this post, but I could not find a more suitable one.

I've been involved in eastern meditation practices for over a year now, and have begun reading about Kundalini, and the rising sexual force through the spinal column.

Through a different path, I came across "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida, where he talks about "ejaculating up the spine" by contracting the perineum the muscles at the floor of the groin, and being filled with a showering light, thus avoiding a depletive orgasm, and transmuting the Sex Energy into a rejuvinative force within the nervous system.

Well, I've concluded that these two are one in the same. Kundalini meditation involves contracting the muscles at the base of the spine and sending the Kundalini energy from the gonads to the crown, and feeling white light shower over you.

Can any of you speak of this experience? Tell me what it's like? Guide me to attain it?

Here's my issue:
I'm 20 years old, and am just now beginning to enter my second sexual relationship. I am not lasting very long. I feel like when I try to contract my perineum I just speed up the process by tensing up; I feel like I am pumping an orgasm out by contracting the muscles, instead of holding it in. All but maybe 5 of my orgasms over the past 2 years have been from masturbation -- Do I just need to get used to the feeling of a Woman again, and give my body time to adapt? I feel like the ejaculation control method is doing nothing for me.

[Andrew Gubb]

I'm not sure about Deida's sexual advice. I tried following it for a while, but if what he says is meaningful, I found it too hard to follow. Now I'm doubting whether it was. I continue to masturbate whenever I don't have a woman, and it doesn't seem to do me harm. On the other hand, stressing myself and feeling guilty about masturbating really did.

I've never had the problem, so I don't know how to make your sex last longer, but in general perhaps you need to relax more. When I feel myself about to come when I don't want to, I take some deep breaths. Meditation is good, though meditation is something you learn over a long time. Having a quiet mind is like weight loss or muscle building, you can't look for a quick fix, it's steady effort over a period of years.

Another trick you could try: bunch your fists up as hard as you can. This is supposed to get blood flowing away from your penis, removing the pressure. It works for me, though if she sees it she might wonder what's going on

If all else fails it's OK to tell her you want to stop because you don't feel like coming yet. Then go down and pleasure her with your mouth until you're ready to go again, OK?

[Mynder]

Mmmh...how about giving her the first pleasure of the night using your fingers or tongue? Women take quite a bit longer to get "in the mood" than men, but the good thing is, they can just keep going...and once she's had her first orgasm, it doesn't take that long to get her to a second one.

Also, when you come "too early"...don't fret about it. Give her pleasure differently until she's satisfied as well...and maybe by the time she is, you feel ready for more again (...because seeing, hearing and feeling her "getting off" is really stuff to get a man aroused again).

Side benefit: you will learn what really gets her going.

[cylon]

Amazon.com: Cupid's Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships (9781556438097): Marnia Robinson, Douglas Wile Ph.D.: Books

Introduction | Reuniting