"If you have no enemies..."

[Sivodna]

"...you are apt to be in the same predicament with regard to friends"

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts on this. I'm not sure who the quote is attributed to.

[brendannz]

I have no enemies in my life, because I don't have time for them.

I ask you, what benefit would an enemy be to you in your life?

and a Buddha quote;
"Nobody is your friend, and nobody is your enemy, every person is your teacher"

[James81]

According to this site, the quote is attributed to Elbert Hubbard (who is an author).

As for the quote? I guess it's a matter of how you define "enemy" and what that entails. If by "enemy" you mean someone that you know that you just don't get along with and choose to avoid, then I'd say the quote might be true.

However, if an "enemy" is someone you actively disagree with and "fight," then the quote is not true at all. You don't have to actively engage against an person in order to actively engage in a relationship with a friend. That's silly.

[Diandra25]

i see it like this:

there will be persons in your life that would seem to be blocking your personal growth - you will see them as your enemy,right?

but...that "enemy" is really your friend - cause he will be showing you the traits in yourself that you criticize,and hate,but because of that hating,you dont see the faults in yourself.

then,the time you counscioulsly admitt that the faults are within you,you will forgive yourself by forgiving your enemy - infact he is your friend,cause he mirrors who you are.

[aggie]

the way i am interpretting it is that if you have no enemies, you probably don't have any friends either because you never get close enough to anyone to need to be able to tell the difference.

if you let people into your life...you have to make the choice...seems pretty uncomplicated to me.

[Tanja]

I think enemy is a bit too strong of a word. I don't have enemies.
I do have people I disagree with though. But that's good.
If we take the word enemy to mean people you disagree with then in some way it might be true what aggie said, that you don't get close enough to people, because it's impossible to agree with everyone about everything.

[ssandra]

I believe that I can choose my enemies. If somebody hates me, and I choose not to hate them back; are they my enemy?

I believe not.

I believe everybody is my friend until proven otherwise. And proven otherwise just makes them my non-friend. Not my enemy.

[aelle]

I understand this quotation as saying: you need to take true, strong stances, have a strong personality to make true friends - the same strong choices that could bring you enemies. If you are lukewarm about everything, you won't make enemies, but you won't makes friends either.

[Angela]

An enemy is a friend who is showing you where you have resistance.


Be grateful to your enemies for being allies in your path to freedom and power!

[aggie]

frenemies

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by Angela

here you have resistance.

And resistance is futile! A wise Borg once said...

Originally Posted by aggie

frenemies

I like the word

[Diandra25]

Angela

you said it in much better words than mine

that is why you re great at your work too hihihi
plain and simple .that is how it goes!

[Sivodna]

Originally Posted by aelle

I understand this quotation as saying: you need to take true, strong stances, have a strong personality to make true friends - the same strong choices that could bring you enemies. If you are lukewarm about everything, you won't make enemies, but you won't makes friends either.

I think you're the only one who got it so far.

[James81]

Originally Posted by aelle

I understand this quotation as saying: you need to take true, strong stances, have a strong personality to make true friends - the same strong choices that could bring you enemies. If you are lukewarm about everything, you won't make enemies, but you won't makes friends either.

That simply isn't true.

99% of the people on the planet have friends. But I can assure you that 99% of the people on the planet aren't strong personalities with strong stances on things.

The reality is that making friends is very easy. 75% of the process is just showing up. Showing up to places where other people are. Showing up to situations where you can meet people. Repeatedly showing up where you consistently meet the same people. That's 3/4ths the battle in making friends is just getting out there.

The other 1/4th of the battle is the ability to communicate and make a connection with someone. You don't have to have a strong personality or strong stances on issues to do that.

[Sivodna]

Originally Posted by James81

That simply isn't true.

99% of the people on the planet have friends. But I can assure you that 99% of the people on the planet aren't strong personalities with strong stances on things.

The reality is that making friends is very easy. 75% of the process is just showing up. Showing up to places where other people are. Showing up to situations where you can meet people. Repeatedly showing up where you consistently meet the same people. That's 3/4ths the battle in making friends is just getting out there.

The other 1/4th of the battle is the ability to communicate and make a connection with someone. You don't have to have a strong personality or strong stances on issues to do that.

There is a difference between superficial friends and real friends. The quote refers to the latter.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Sivodna

There is a difference between superficial friends and real friends. The quote refers to the latter.

I wasn't talking about superficial friends.

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by Sivodna

real friends. The quote refers to the latter.

You assume the quote is true for all people, all the time. Says who?

You agreed with aelle, but what exactly do you mean by strong or lukewarm stance/personality? If you have a strong stance about one thing, doesn't mean the same is the case for everything. And strong personality? What is that? You never change your mind? Does that mean you never learn more about yourself?

[Diandra25]

arent "enemies" the ones who force us to be better?

if everyone are friends,if everyone agrees with you,have goals wichi arent at odds with ours....than what will makes us evolve?

challenges!

and challenges are brought by those "enemies" -so are they enemies,or friends?

and if you don t have enemies...do you really have friends?

oh and the quote is from : Hubbard, Elbert

[Diandra25]

i found some quotes too that might been similar to what the writer wanted to say:

"An enemy is anyone who tells the truth about you."

"Our real enemies are the people who make us feel so good that we
are slowly, but inexorably, pulled down into the quicksand of
smugness and self-satisfaction."

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies;
probably because they are generally the same people."

[Tanja]

Originally Posted by Diandra25

arent "enemies" the ones who force us to be better?

if everyone are friends,if everyone agrees with you,have goals wichi arent at odds with ours....than what will makes us evolve?

challenges!

and challenges are brought by those "enemies" -so are they enemies,or friends?

I agree with you. I also said in my first post that having people disagree with you is good.
I guess the word enemies was too strong for me in this context, it just has a different connotation for me, so that is why I don't agree with the quote completely.

[ar81]

An enemy should be a person who makes someone the center of attention.
It means someone (your enemy) does not have a life.
Why should anyone waste their lives being enemy of a John Doe like me?
Why should I waste my life too?

[shasah]

Originally Posted by aelle

I understand this quotation as saying: you need to take true, strong stances, have a strong personality to make true friends - the same strong choices that could bring you enemies. If you are lukewarm about everything, you won't make enemies, but you won't makes friends either.

That may be what it means but I can't agree with the sentiment, having a strong personality and strong stances was one of my basic problems. No problem knowing your own mind and where you will and won't go, but most people see a strong personality as an arrogant personality. Being open minded to others opinions gets you much further in life. Doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say or be wishy washy, but at the same time, no one wants to be friends with an opinionated, arrogant, know-it-all either. Glad I opened my mind and my heart to others. Life is so much more interesting now.

[Strangemagik]

I'd say it falls into the lines of indifference. Meaning if you have this you have no enemies because you don't care(yes that could mean no strong stances) and are indifferent to people then your friend count will reflect your enemies because none of them make a difference to you.

Could go along with something the rapper Eminem says "you've got enemies? Good that means you stood up for something in your life."

Love the Buddha quote posted. From a content introvert that doesn't get close to that many people I'd say I totally agree with this. No friend or enemy just teachers.