|10-14-2009, 07:19 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Osnabrück, Germany
Thoughts about a conscious, loving, respectful break-up of a relationship?
After giving it my best try, telling him that I was thankful for him but that I needed freedom, he was extremely angry and told me how mean I was for letting him fall in love and then tossing him aside for another man. I can see how our relationship looks that way, but I truly loved him - meant it when I said it - but I trust that the Universe wants me to learn from this relationship and move to the next one that suits me better...does this make any sense?
If I take him back, it will be out of guilt, rather than being in alignment with my desires. The new man I've met is more interesting intellectually and is very affectionate as well.
Sorry if this post is all over the place. I have a lot to reflect upon. I think one of my core beliefs is "Hurting other people emotionally is always bad and wrong." Which makes this break-up situation very difficult.
|10-14-2009, 07:26 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Nong Seng
You tell your old partner you need freedom but immediately have a new partner?
Anyway, your old partner's anger is what it is, anger because he had different expectations. Maybe it was a total surprise for him?
Taking him back out of guilt is BS.
|10-14-2009, 10:13 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2006
EXACTLY!!!!!!!!! well said spirit.
Did you give it your best try? Really and honestly? or are you conflicted by feelings for someone else. I say this having been on BOTH sides of this situation. I told my ex husband that very same thing when yes I had feelings(never acted on)building for another man and out of confusion and blindness I moved on with little "try" to it. 4 months later(nothing ever happened with man friend for awhile but that's it) I went back to ex husband gave my try but ultimately he chose to go with some other woman and I once again moved out and on.
Now as they say karma is a ***** and I had this similar situation in some ways(based on what I see not fact/proof) that my ex boyfriend did exactly what you are doing to this poor guy. Now its fine and dandy if you are not feeling him(the ex). And I agree if its not what you want going back may well be out of guilt or more like pity. But don't lie to yourself. Learn this lesson and next time tell the freaking truth.
Sorry I have to sympathize with your ex. Being told you want freedom and then immediately being with someone else or showing someone else attention that is intended to lead to a relationship is hog wash. I'm not seeing any loving or respectfulness here at all SERIOUSLY. I had to come to terms with this and its not always so black and white, yes there is gray. But I have learned my lesson. you should try to learn yours now.
Last edited by Strangemagik; 10-14-2009 at 10:22 PM.
|10-15-2009, 07:34 AM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Mexico City
You are not responsable for your ex feelings.
You are only responsable for your own feelings.
Be honest with him, break it off, and leave it at that. Don´t fall for the guilt trap, don´t let him talk you into coming back, just be there for him if he needs you as a friend and leave it at that.
|10-15-2009, 02:25 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Georgia, USA
IA with ssandra.
Even my most "spiritually conscious/mutual" breakup hurt me in a way that I couldn't speak to the guy for 3 months. Now we're in pretty regular contact and we trade pictures of the kiddies, etc. I think it's unreasonable to expect someone to be completely okay with a breakup soon after. Give them space, and maybe, in time, they might be friend material. Then again, maybe not, it's not a requirement.
|10-16-2009, 02:12 AM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Southern California
You're still connecting with your ex in your mind, as evidenced by the forum post you wrote. Why? Is this your way of letting him go? Why not tell him to his face what you're feeling? Tell him you wanted to consciously break up with him!
You don't sound like you're very distraught by the breakup. This is a sign of conscious growth. congratulations, you are advancing!
|10-16-2009, 11:41 AM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Where Living and Loving and Laughing are written into the Constitution
My dear just go on. Don't look back. Be nice and gentle to ex but be with no one out of guilt or regret or what ever... so what if you found someone new and more interesting... just go. Life is a great huge game. Never settle for second best!
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