confused..How should I act?

[zahra]

This is my first thread, and I must say it's a bit awkward. I am not one to really talk about my emotions or feelings, and try to keep as much in as possible. I wish somebody could just solve my life problems for me. I feel like a child. I am 20 years of age and a college junior. I am learning to take life day by day. Just trying to grow and be the best that I can be. What makes me happiest is being the best person I can be. Also reaching my goals. Anyway, after that short synopsis, I would like to specifically narrow down to my troubles with the other sex. I don't even know where to begin. I am so confused about what I want. First I feel like, I should concentrate on school and not worry about boys. Now I was hoping that maybe I could get a males perspective. I tend to make eye contact with almost everyone I walk by, and I notice that some men take that for flirting. I don't want to be flirt. So maybe you all can tell me how a lady should act. What your idea of a lady is. Also, I happen to be attracted to this guy that works at the gym, but he probably thinks I am crazy. I say hi to him sometimes and sometimes I ignore him. I don't understand why i do some of the things i do. I am pretty strange. Also, as soon as he shows any interest in me, I am uninterested in him. I don't know why I am like that. Its pretty wierd. I'll like people that are completely uninterested in me. If they like me, I want nothing to do with them almost. Does that mean I hate myself? lol. I know this is a whole bunch of randomness. I just wanted to get it off my chest.