Qns:Law of Attraction & the type of situation in relationship we attract to our lives

[Exousia87]

Hi everyone, This is my first post on the forum.

To begin with, there is this issue that i would love to learn and hear opinions from anyone who could help me. I will try my best to be as detail as Here's my story:


The person whom made me change my physical appearances/dress sense and style was this lady that I am in love with. After she commented on my acne-scarred face and my dress sense, I was initially depressed and went on a downward-spiral thinking that all these changes couldn't happen and she will never accept me...However, i met this guy friend of mine, who passed me the ebook by David Deangelo (Double your Dating). After reading that book, my life and mindset practically changed. I began focusing on the way i carry my poise/ dress sense and even apply for a facial regime to take good care of my face.

Slowly, the outer physical side of me began to change for the better. I feel more confident of myself and the way i socialize with people. I went back to her and thought that i am ready for her. However, after being intimate for 2 days, she went missing again and began the silent treatment towards me. Never hear from her for a month, I msg her that i wish her all the best in her life and we shall never meet again. From that point on, i carry on with my life and began to take more good care of myself and enjoy socializing with friends that i had neglected during the phase of depression. Thereafter, my social circle began to improve.

During this phase, I frequent pubs and clubs. In the back of my mind, i am always wary to prevent myself from getting emotionally involve with girls. Until recently, i met a girl in the club who treated me really well. We shared moments of intimacy and she even help me source for a temporary job when she knew i was out of job for the moment. I am really touched and make an effort to find a job asap so that i will not let her effort go to waste. I thought that I've finally found someone whom I could began a loving relationship with. However, i was wrong. Once again it is a 2 days event. After the 2nd day, the disappearing act began. No word from her anymore. Initially for the first 3 days, I began spiraling downwards again. Asking myself why did I met up with such a person again. But i told myself i have to be strong if not what I've learn so far in changing my mindset would have gone to waste.

I've read Steve's post on personal development and I took a step back to observe the situation. If I am to blame on the other party for what they are to do to me, I will be blaming the outside world for causing me to feel bad. I realize that the problem lies with me, but i am not sure what it is. The Law of Attraction attracts situations and people we meet in our life. So I am wondering what is the signal that I've been sending out to the universe that cause such scenarios to happen time and again? Why does these 'disappearing acts' keep happening? How can i use and understand the concept of the law of attraction to began changing my mindset and attract the things i want in my life?

I hope that everyone could share with me and I hope to learn as much as possible. Sorry for the long post and I hope that the story is detail enough to point out the problems in me that i had. If u require additional details, please ask me and i am willing to share more as i am dying to understand what's wrong with me and how should i change for the better now.


A BIG THANK YOU TO EVERYONE!!

[LifeFirst]

I wonder too.......the people that I've came across in my Life...so far only maybe 2 I can consider my closest friends.

Everyone else I've met, we've been on different wavelengths.....I'm not talking about dissappearing or anything like that. I'm talking about some of the worst types of people you'll meet...racists, bigots, sexists, narcissists....it seems towards the end of my years at college. I've met some of the worst people ever, at the most normal places.....I've met criminals who were nicer than these people....makes me wonder why I've never had a supporting friend in my Life....

[Erasmus]

Well...your appearance changed, but on the inside you still have that insecurity from the first girl commenting on your previously unattractive state. And your confidence is based on an outward thing, and thus fragile. And the mindset you aquired from Double Your Dating likely didn't eliminate your underlying insecurities etc, but just caused you to view things in a different light. But you, on the inside, remain largely the same, and the inner pattern for this disappearing act lies there.

Now...if I'm not accurate in any of this, let me say that I'm just guessing to the best of my ability here, so take my opinion for what it is, an opinion.

Did you feel reluctant to get close to girls before the first girl? If so, it is like you are always expecting girls to hurt you. Perhaps...you should think about that getting hurt is just going to happen, but you shouldn't let it stop you from being open. When you are generous, you will usually expect others to be the same towards you, and so you will have higher standards... people will treat you as badly or as well as you let them.

Also, focus on what you WANT. Stop thinking about what you dont want. What is it that you want exactly anyhow? It' seems your whole think is "I dont want this, it keeps happening, etc" Think about what you want.
Hope that helps, if i wasnt clear enough, just ask. Wish you success!

[Exousia87]

Hi Erasmus

Thank you for helping me in analyzing the situation. Before the first girl, i am great with girls and not feel reluctant to get close to them.

After reading, i think u are right to say that i have not eliminate my underlying insecurities. In fact, i really grew to distrust girls nowadays. I couldn't believe a word they say..It just seems to me that they are always saying one thing and doing another. And yes you are right that i am focusing more on things that i don't want in relationships.

Just to ask, is there any form of exercise or procedure that i can follow and do to change this mindset? I've bought a book on NLP previously but it seems that I couldn't summon up the strong feelings that are described in the book to affect my way of thoughts and thinking. Somehow, over the years, i felt blockage towards my emotions. Many emotions (e.g. Joy, anger, jealousy etc.) have been dampened and i couldn't feel all these intensely anymore. Sometimes it felt like an empty shell with only a wisp of emotion from time to time. I am thinking of joining a NLP course to learn about the technique and further improve on my thought process. Do you think it will help??

[garentee]

the second girl was a great opportunity to heal the wounds from the first...

[Parthon]

Originally Posted by Exousia87

I've read Steve's post on personal development and I took a step back to observe the situation. If I am to blame on the other party for what they are to do to me, I will be blaming the outside world for causing me to feel bad. I realize that the problem lies with me, but i am not sure what it is. The Law of Attraction attracts situations and people we meet in our life. So I am wondering what is the signal that I've been sending out to the universe that cause such scenarios to happen time and again? Why does these 'disappearing acts' keep happening? How can i use and understand the concept of the law of attraction to began changing my mindset and attract the things i want in my life?

You may be overstepping your own power a bit here. You didn't cause the girls to vanish. You didn't cause these events in your life. You didn't do anything to cause the outside world at all. It might have all arising in your intention, but it wasn't on purpose.

The solution is when you said "I will be blaming the outside world for causing me to feel bad." It's not the blame, but the misrecognition of the word cause. The outside world didn't cause anything. It just did what it does. You experienced the outside world, then caused yourself to feel bad. The girls may have vanished and you lost contact with them, but it was you that put meaning and significant into it to turn it into more than it is.

If you want to apply LoA to this example, you've been broadcasting the thought: "I let the outside world affect how I feel."

Taking Steve's work: You are the single authority on you. Only you can determine how you are meant to feel over what you experience from the world.

The next step is working out why you feel bad when people lose contact with you.

[Erasmus]

I think that perhaps just some time by yourself and reflection will help. Like Parthon said, look at why you feel bad when people lose contact with you. I cant advise you on NLP, as I dont know much about it. It's a tool, and some tools work great for some, not for others. It's just a question if it works for you, and only you know that.

Ciao