Give up on him or continue to be hopeful?

[Paccho]

I met a guy a work and initial he came on to me pretty strong. The first time we hung out he invited me to take a road trip and to stay overnight at a hotel. He travel from another country here for business meetings. I went with him but insisted that we will not stay overnight at the hotel. He agreed and we had a great time. After 2 months of chatting online he came back to the US for a final business meeting. We went to the big city during the weekend and had stay at the hotel which we got intimate. He asked me to enter a long distance relationship with him to which I wasn't sure of at the time. He asked me to take a 2 weeks vacation in China with him which I was very interested in but I was having a lot of pressure from work and people were being laid off. I was very hestitate. He went with another girl which he lied and told he went with his guy friend.

3 months later my company sent me for work in his home country (Germany) for 3 months which he offered to show me around his country. While I was in Germany he took another 2 weeks of vacation with that same girl he called his "friend". After he returned from the vacation he contacted me because he wanted to meet up. I did turned him down initially but did rescheduled to next week. After he picked me up from the train station he took me to his apartment and then we went out the entire day and returned in the evening. He invited me to stay over at his apartment to which I declined. I don't want to used for sex because he had vacation with another woman and i'm sure they had sex.

After this we hung out again and everytimes we hung out he always make sexual jokes or reference to sex. For example, I was surprised that he cook, so I said "you cook?" to which he playfully accused me of calling him "you c*o*c*k*." I don't know if he's being disrespectful or just being comfortable around me. He also like to make funny reference to my name. After he hung out he always says he had a great time and he always gave me a hug. I don't know if he still likes me romantically or not or should I continue to be hopeful that maybe we could be closed and intimate like before. But seems like he has move on to that other girl cause he doesn't contact me as much as he used to and I also don't go online as much as I used to as well. Anyways should I move on or wait? If he was serious about that other girl why did he invite me to stay at his apartment or bother to show me around his city? So confused...maybe he was just playing me....maybe he's not sure what he wants....sorry this is a long post...

[James81]

Looks like in your extreme defensiveness to avoid being played games with, you ended up playing yourself.

I don't think he sounds like a player at all. I think he sounds like a guy who has self respect and isn't going to screw around with someone who sends mixed signals and is trying to "control" the relationship to make it fit inside a little box to protect yourself.

Nothing you said makes me think he's playing you. I think, honestly, you're just playing yourself and then projecting that onto him.