Can women & men be "just friends" after their romantic relationship ends?

[tamzdance]

The above question has plagued me for at least 4 years. I had a great friendship (and later, a romance) with a wonderful guy who lives in my neighborhood. From the time we met, we hit it off superbly. We would spend hours talking, sharing our most private thoughts, laughing at each others' unique brand of humor, crying over sad stories, celebrating each others' triumphs over life's challenges, etc.---all the stuff great friendships are made of. Over the course of a few years, our friendship turned physical and a romance ensued. I cannot tell you how abolutely happy and healthy my life felt during this time. Bliss would be a good word to describe my experience. I had finally (at age 40) found my soul mate.

Well...about 10 months into our now-romantic relationship, he abruptly ended it. I was devasted and reeling---couldn't sleep, missed work, began overeating (ugh!). Three months after he called it quits, he announced to me that he was engaged to an old childhood friend. I suspect he was seeing this other gal all along. She lived in another state (which now explains the many trips he made back west to "vist his mother." And I thought he was such a good son. Oy vey!). I believe I was played--and he was just passing time with me (and getting a little nooky on the side) until she could move here to be with him. Note, she did move here...but they have since split and he's moved on to several other women since her and me.

But back to my thread question....this dude and I have tried to be "just friends" since our romance came to an end. That was four years ago. I cannot believe it's still so hard for me to be around him, listen to his latest romance news, dating experiences, etc. So I ask: Can men and women go back to being "just friends" after having a romantic relationship? I do not think it's easy at all--no matter how mature and poised one (or both) tries to be about it! Thoughts???