How does one find a relationship?

[Chris_1977]

I have not had a relationship in my entire life (29 years old now). This may be related to the fact that I havn't looked very hard for one (actually, I think "looking hard" would just be depressing) and another reason could be that I didn't look in the right places. I have done some internet dating, but find it rather difficult to find someone who has a personality that I actually like. So, the question is: what kind of thing shoud one do or avoid to increase chances for a relationship? In case people think it is important: I am a man and only interested in a relationship with a man.

[John Wesley]

Best advice I can come up with, get out there and start looking. Don't try too hard but make an effort to be friendly with people. Try going to bars or clubs where other single gay men are known to go.

[Scorpio]

Do you know the advice columnist Dan Savage? He writes the sex advice column Savage Love. Check out his podasts (pops up easily with a google search). One of them fields a very similar question about a late twenties gay guy that's trying to get into his first relationship.

[norbert]

find it rather difficult to find someone who has a personality that I actually like

Boy I can deeply resonate with that. Now that my best friend is gone I can hardly find any meaningful relationships. I feel like nobody understands me. That has always been the case until we met. It's the same with girls, friends, relatives, everybody.. They just don't have the kind of personality I'm looking for. I was wondering if there's any "conscious friend finder" or something like that available on the web?

[Chris_1977]

Actually, I am also quite active at the moment on a forum where a lot of gay people come, so that is quite okay. I even met someone IRL I first met on that forum. Too early to say if anything is going to come out of that, but at least I can say that with him I enjoyed dating which is quite a big plus anyhow. We'll see. Maybe I don't need all your nice advice anymore now.

@John Wesley:
I don't like bars so much because Steve Pavlina has convinced me of the benefits of becoming an early riser (I've become one around last summer), and I actually like being an early riser quite a lot. Bars generally mess up with that.

I'll also have a look (or rather a listen) at those podcasts.

@Norbert:
Maybe you should try some online forum as well. If you start posting about things that interest you, you should also find people that interest you.

[elainevdw]

I just realized a weird trend with me and my friends. We all ended up in long-term relationships with men who initially liked a really good friend who didn't return the feelings.

So if your friends have a cute somebody pursuing them but don't want to get involved with that person... attack!!!

[Nico Kempe]

To keep it short: the relationship finds you.
A little longer: you could try the law of attraction for this, and it sounds better too, using the law of attraction to attract someone..)

[Lychee]

Isn't it possible to attract a relationship?

[Isis Kali]

I have to ask: are you in a good area, as a gay man, for finding a good selection of other gay men? I'm just wondering...if not, it'll make things harder.