is that charisma?

[ttt]

There is an old forum thread about charisma (What is charisma?)

, and here is a quote: (by Lonewolf)

“I'm more interested in charisma as something like supernatural power or exceptional presence, that marks someone as being other than normal.
My ex-boss was a bit like this; he was a very tall and handsome man, self made millionaire/playboy and had an unusually strong presence. The way he lead his life (cocaine-feuled stripper orgies, week long parties etc) was pretty wild and hedonistic and a bit of a waste of talent in my opinion.
He had some unusual abilities also that were bordering on autism. For example, he could look at a screen full of figures and instantly pick out numerical mistakes without having any time to calculate anything. Also, when he was focusing on something it was impossible to attract his attention - you could yell in his ear and he couldn't hear you.
Another odd thing was his eyes - the best way that I could describe it was that you could not penetrate past his gaze to see the person within. It was like there was a subconscious wall between his soul and the outside world.
When he was at his best he was incredibly dynamic, confident and intelligent. At his worst he was manic/depressive, vain, arrogant, obsessed with sex and drugs and a fool.
Anyway, he lit up a room allright, it was like there was a mercurial quality within him that he could only half-control. Fascinating to watch.”


What do you think, is that charisma or can it be defined as anything else?Where does it come from?
Do you know someone similar?

[AdamLover]

Charisma a vague concept used I believe to describe an interesting personality. The question goes from what is charisma to what is an interesting personality?

Some traits:
- positive and uplifting to be around
- energetic
- attentive towards people's needs
- smiles
- generally great social skills!

[ttt]

AdamLover, most definitions of charisma i found are the same as what you say- positive and interesting personality. The question is, are the charismatic qualities related to the unique ‘presence’ (can’t find a better word) which is described in the original post. In my opinion a person may be really charismatic (positive, energetic, social skills, etc) and still lacking such a ‘presence’. So it must be something else. Any ideas?

[Zas]

I don't have any strong opinion (or drive to form one) in this area . . . But it's worth noting that that text is a description coming from someone else's eyes. So that "wall" isn't necessarily between this charismatic person and the world, it may be a wall the writer has placed between them that prevents him from facing whatever energy this guy holds and what it demands.

In my own life, I've noticed that I used to kinda believe that success, fame, magnetism, etc . . . Was for people born with it. But now it feels more like that belief in me was just something I was using to hold myself back. Or maybe not to hold myself back so much as to have an excuse for not moving forward. So I can imagine myself having, in the past, described someone like that (as being sorta abnormal with negative connotations) but having a completely different view today.

[andersonx]

Your description of the ex-boss, was basically identical to my ex-boss.

He was once an investment banker, focussing on sales for equity derivative products. He then set-up an executive search firm. His charisma was incredible, and he could sell anything to anyone. You just got this amazing feeling that he gave off, and you believed in him.

However he was vain, self-obsessed, and incredibly self-destructive. He did tons of cocaine. His effect on people never lasted: at first they saw this incredible, handsome, charming and charismatic guy and they bought into it. After a while people just got sick of him. I don't think he had any deep or lasting relationships. He'd never stick at anything for much longer than 2-3 years because while he'd be successful at first, based solely on his incredible presence, later it would all fall apart, because he never really delivered. His dealings with people completely lacked integrity.

I've never met anyone quite so charismatic before, but I wouldn't trade places with him. To try and break down what was charismatic about him is hard to say.

[Lionman]

Something like charisma cant be understood by using just logic. Its a feeling which is naturally expansive, hot and positive and people pick up on it instantly because its primal/emotional. Its the combination of a strong will (power) and positive emotions. A super strong willed, negative person evokes fear in others and a conflict of wills. Using the same power but with positivity and sharing some of the power will inspire others and emit a charismatic vibe.