Maybe Embarrassing Mistake - What would you do?

[Thomas]

Imagine the following situation:

- You might have made an embarrassing mistake. Not a huge one, but not small enough to be simply overlooked.
- You don't know whether you have, but you know what you (maybe) did.
- You can't find out whether you did do something wrong, and there is no way to indirectly gauge from e. g. behavior of others whether you did something wrong (primarily because you won't see/hear anything from others for a few days).
- If you assume you did something wrong, there is no way to make amends, or even say sorry for at least a few days. Also, it is very important to you that the situation gets better if a mistake was perceived, so waiting a few days isn't an option. Also, trying to make amends if you didn't actually make a mistake would be bad.

I might be overlooking something (leaving out a condition or not seeing a good way of action), but for the moment I'm stumped what would be best in this situation.

[neomonk]

I drink too much also

[ttt]

So you either did something wrong or did not do it. And you can either try to correct your possible mistake or not try. If you try and it turns out you haven't made that mistake then you lose; if you try and you made it you win. If you don't try and you made the mistake you lose, if don't try and you did not make it you win. So you have a 50% chance, no matter which option you choose. But you say that waiting a few days and than apologising isn't an option and also that you can't help but wait a few days. Than the only thing you can do is to be passive. And meanwhile you may try to think of other solutions. I don't know, from what i got out of your post i think this would be the best. There is a podcast in the audio section called 'Solving frustrating problems', there was advice in it about what to do when you have a problem and all the solutions you can think of are not good enough. here it is: StevePavlina.com Podcast #007 – Solving Frustrating Problems

[chrisrushton]

what i'd do? given those circumstances, nothing.

[Thomas]

I don't know, from what i got out of your post i think this would be the best

The frustrating thing is that apparently doing nothing aside of thinking about it seems to be the best solution. :-S I'm not very good at blocking something worrying out with other stuff to get my mind off the problem, unfortunately.

[aggie]

is this mistake in the professional arena or social?

[Thomas]

Social.

[aggie]

ah, i too am a person that would find it difficult to play out to see what it was i really did or did not have to do.

in situations like that, i have tried to feel the other participants out to see if i could get a clue sometimes, but only if it would not make the situation more awkward or it was obvious what i was trying to do.

are the others involved all the type where if you just kind of said look...i may have made mistake here...etc. etc.? if not waitng and then explaining later may be better.

close circle or just social acquaintances?

[Thomas]

Some closer, some less. Like you said, with at least most of the closer ones it wouldn't be a problem to apologize (assuming something went wrong).

[aggie]

well...i know it is difficult to wonder if you offended someone or hurt someone inadvertanly...but the key word is mistake...is wasn't intentional and your feeling the way you do now, means you are a caring person about that kind of thing.

bottom line, if waiting and doing nothing is the only answer that just be as open and sincere as you feel, if you in fact ended up doing something....that is something that should be appreciated by everyone.

the up side to all of this is you may have done nothing at all. i have been in situations where i would agonize for days thinking i had done something in a social situation and found out i either didn't, or it wasn't perceived as horribly as i thought, or it was completely overlooked by everyone but me.

try not to dwell if you can...keep us posted and good luck.