Power, Influence, Control, Manipulation

[brendannz]

OK, Lets discuss the differences between these 4 words I mentioned above.

I think all relationships depend on a healthy balance of trust and power. So power itself isn't evil at all, and I think every person strives to influence others (unless you're a recluse)

I've got a power quote "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace" - I think Jimi Hendrix said that.

Is manipulation wrong? I think consciously, I don't want to control or manipulate others, but I want to connect and want to influence others.. and I guess control and manipulation have the same intention, having the power to influence others.

OK, what are your thoughts?

[Gabo]

I think there is a big difference between influencing, manipulating, and controlling.

When you influence someone, you are trying to get them to change something about themselves, but they ultimately have the choice.
When you manipulate someone, you either lie or withhold the truth to get someone to change themselves, giving them the false illusion of choice.
When you control someone, you force them to change. Rather than leaving it to them to decide, you actually make them do it.

I believe that influencing people is a good thing, but manipulation and control are generally very bad things to do to someone.

[KingCambo]

Im not too sure if its useful to use qoutes from jimi henrix because he was a druged up hippie and played hard rock n roll.


But Power comes from confidence and confidence comes from freedom and emotional groth.

So i smart and healthy relationship starts from emtionaly balenced and freedom from your partner.

[Brutha]

If I dance salsa with a woman I have the power about how she will move because I lead her.
But I don't exert force and therefore I'm not controlling my partner.
I'm also doing more than just influencing because I have a clear intention about how she should move.

Manipulation is influence, leadership or control that you are conscious of that happens outside the awareness of the person you are interacting with.

I have no problem with manipulation when you have good intentions.

In most cases control isn't good. It can however be appropriate as a last resort when someone's actions harm other people or he would harm himself irreparably.

It's also worth pointing out that control only happen when you don't have enough power to do something else and the energy you exert to control someone reduces your power.
As the saying goes:
If you have to use your power you don't had any in the first place.