gay as an insult

[Pegasus]

While sitting in class in a vocational school setting, I have noticed that some of the younger students (fresh out of high school or in their twenties) will start talking and using the word “gay” as an insult. I’ve even heard the f-word used. I admit I’ve done my share of trash talk when I was in high school (for example, “That music sucks. It’s so gay!”) but like to think I have evolved since then. I find the talk both offensive and distracting, especially when I am trying to complete my graphic design assignments.

Normally when dealing with people, I prefer the direct approach. However, one time after I got annoyed with a classmate who was playing music too loud and not utilizing headphones, I was warned by my instructor to go though him and not to deal with students direct. Would it be better to go through any instructor on the shift where the offense occurs (I stay late sometimes) and risk being singled out as a nark or risk being accused of butting in to someone else’s conversation? Or should I silently move to another computer if there’s one available? I also fear that perhaps an instructor won’t see it as a big deal. The instructors claim that we are in a professional [class] environment. How should I handle such a situation?

[ticktockclok]

The second paragraph seriously confused me.

And yes, we use gay in high school all the time. With all the anti-homo sentiment thats been present in this generation, "gay" has become synonomous for anything that sucks.

[Cat Dancer]

Originally Posted by Pegasus

However, one time after I got annoyed with a classmate who was playing music too loud and not utilizing headphones, I was warned by my instructor to go though him and not to deal with students direct.

I wonder if there was something you could say to the students that would express that you don't find gay to be an insult, without being annoyed or confrontational?

I mean, what the instructor wants is for there not to be conflict between students. Now, I'm not there, and I don't know the dynamics of the situation, so it's hard for me to make a concrete suggestion. But suppose, for example, perhaps before or after class, you said quietly to one of the students, "Hmm, I don't think gays are bad".

The goal is you'd like to express yourself directly to the students so that you don't have the negative consequences of going through the instructor, and to do it in such a way so that you're not getting them riled up.

If you're unsure if you can express your position without getting them riled up, or how to do so, you might try first starting with some innocuous positions. For example, "I like pizza". Then at (or before or after) the next class try expressing your position on something more serious. This way you can test the waters a bit and get a sense of how the students react, and also when you come to stating your position on gays it will be less out of the blue.

I hope this was helpful,

^_^

Cat

[The David]

Originally Posted by ticktockclok

The second paragraph seriously confused me.

It confused me at first. I think he's using the situation as an example of how the direct approach can cause problems, and he's wondering if he should use it with the 'gay' situation.

[ZenFender]

Although I don't think using the term "gay" to describe something other than sexual preference is mature, I think the problem is more to do with you than with the other students.

If you live your life getting all worked up because people around you aren't conforming to your standards of PC-ness, then you will live a hard life. Plain and simple.

[Healthyfit]

I use the word gay to mean lame. I know it isn't PC but even my gay friends use it to mean lame.

One of our favorite lines for movies is "Rated G for Gay"

I know it is negative but it is still funny to me I may try to stop using it, because I know my intentions but others may not.

[The David]

I find it funny sometimes, and will sometimes use it in private (i.e around my uber-conservative family). But yeah, it is really sad, when you think about why it became synonymous with lame or stupid.

[Matthew Shea]

While I agree with ZenFender's statement that you shouldn't let yourself get worked up over this, I've been in your situation before, Pegasus, and I know how distracting it can be when someone is being immature in an academic or professional environment. My approach would be to state your concern briefly and firmly to the students involved, e.g. "I'm trying to get some work done, here, would you mind taking your socializing outside." If they don't respond appropriately or choose to escalate the issue, immediately raise it to the professor. Personally, I think people deserve a chance to correct their own behavior without bringing others into the conflict, despite what your professor says, but if they don't respond to your correction, don't hesitate to involve the proper authorities, which in this case means informing the professor. When you inform the professor, make it clear that your ability to complete your work is being impacted and their distraction is unacceptable.

[C33]

What if you replace the word Gay with Jew, Black,Hispanic, or any other minorities...doesn t sound so cool anymore?

I have no advice for the person who posted this, because I am not the same age, nor in the same situation.And I don t have to be politically correct to save my reputation, job or peace.

I did tell people who used "Gay" as an insult to not say it in my presence ,as I find it offensive. If gay people use it, it is totally different, same thing as when Blacks call each other:♥♥♥♥♥♥.IMHO