3rd time trying to serve restrain order papers, what should i do now?

[loveliketheflowers]

Hello....here is another one of my dilemmas, sorry. I have filed a restraining order against my ex-boyfriend in late june who was physically abusive towards me. The sheriff has tried to serve him twice, 1st time tried to be served 3 times at his home and he was not there, 2nd time tried to be served 3 times at his job (Starbucks) and he was not there either and co-workers said he would be working in the evening and the sheriff kept missing him. This will be my 3rd time trying to serve these papers and I have been having a hard time figuring out what to do now. I really do not want to spend money on a process server and he is again unable to be found. I was thinking maybe I could have my grandpa serve the papers to him but will that still count and be legal? Or could I call him and tell him about the restraining order and leave the restraining order on his doorstep? will that still count? Or should I just give up and just forget about it and move on with my life? Do you have any advice on how I could serve the restraining order to my ex-boyfriend so it could be valid with the courts and I can move on with my life. Could my grandpa just serve the papers to him, but I'm wondering how that will be valid and how will the court know or can prove that we served the papers to him. This is a very hard and stressful thing/process trying to go through with a restraining order and serve the papers to this person who is impossible to catch for some reason or I believe his roommates and co-workers could lie to the police and say he is not there but how do I know. If anyone could help i'd truly appreciate it.

[ang569]

Can't you get someone to be at Starbucks and confirm that he is actually there. Then call the deputy and give him the go ahead. I find it strange that you have to pay everytime. Did I understand that correctly?

[ssandra]

this might be a dumb question... but if you cannot find him... why do you need restaining orders?

[loveliketheflowers]

Originally Posted by ang569

Can't you get someone to be at Starbucks and confirm that he is actually there. Then call the deputy and give him the go ahead. I find it strange that you have to pay everytime. Did I understand that correctly?

i need a restraining order to protect myself and to prove that i have this on file because if he comes around again at least this order is in effect.

and no I do not have to pay the deputy everytime to go, i never paid. I was saying I would have to pay a private process server if I went that route but I do not want to go that route. sigh nevermind my question does not make sense. My plan was having my grandpa serve him the papers but I was asking if that will be legal and still count?

[ang569]

Call your sherriff's office and ask? But I doubt it. I think that's the whole point in having an officer do it. So I would not think your Grandfather could do it. Let us know.

[Brutha]

My plan was having my grandpa serve him the papers but I was asking if that will be legal and still count?

That question is impossible to answer without knowing where you live.
Additionally your sherriff is probably a good person to ask.

[Glenda N]

Originally Posted by loveliketheflowers

My plan was having my grandpa serve him the papers but I was asking if that will be legal and still count?

In addition to the legal questions, you should think about whether your grandpa could handle a situation where your ex might possibly get violent. People can react unpredictably when served restraining orders. I think the deputy is the way to go, or someone who is trained in handling these situations.

Anyhow, I congratulate you on leaving an abusive situation. It can be a very hard thing and requires great courage.

[Dreamline]

I think you should be referring these questions to the sheriff's department.

If it's important enough for you to take this step, it's important enough to invest the money in a private server if need be.

Jennifer

[Inspirations]

Hi loveliketheflowers,

When you have had enough of this drama game, and decide most firmly "enough! I want this finished so I can move on with my life" your papers will be served easily.

Read your post and see how half hearted and all over the page you are.

A decision changes everything!!

[seeker5]

Originally Posted by loveliketheflowers

My plan was having my grandpa serve him the papers but I was asking if that will be legal and still count?

This forum isn't the right forum to ask that. You're asking a legal question, and a false answer will have legal ramnifications for you. I wouldn't trust what anyone on this website tells you as you need to know what your specific county or city says about this.

Ask the sherif himself, ask the cops. Call an attorney in your city and maybe go for the free initial consultation to ask him for his advice. Ask around to people in your city really. If you're in university, go ask the law professor. Ask local people and you're much more likely to get the correct answer then asking this internet forum that is about personal development, not about a specific local law.

Or google this with your city and state information.

[loveliketheflowers]

Originally Posted by seeker5

This forum isn't the right forum to ask that. You're asking a legal question, and a false answer will have legal ramnifications for you. I wouldn't trust what anyone on this website tells you as you need to know what your specific county or city says about this.

Ask the sherif himself, ask the cops. Call an attorney in your city and maybe go for the free initial consultation to ask him for his advice. Ask around to people in your city really. If you're in university, go ask the law professor. Ask local people and you're much more likely to get the correct answer then asking this internet forum that is about personal development, not about a specific local law.

Or google this with your city and state information.

good idea. thank you for your advice everyone ]