Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Annemarie · 08-10-2009, 10:59 AM

well, as the title says.

the person in question is not having bad intentions. it's just that he is very immature, he doesn't know when to speak, what to speak or when to shut up. he constantly bothers you with the most idiotic topics, both in public and in privacy and his ideas are out of touch with reality, because he hasn't experienced much so far besides a few aspects of life in which he constantly revolves. he's the type of person that gives you the most silly and useless gifts, so you see, there was a good intention, but then when you open the gift, you just want to smack him repeatedly with it. lol. we're not together or something like this, though he sort of thinks we are (yet another sign of his unbelievable maturity for his age)

the person in question is a grown up by age. i've talked to him about this several times and he's taking an absurd attitude about this, he refuses to speak to me for several days after we've had the talk and then comes back as if nothing happened, including taking up his old habits.

anyone has experienced this and dealt with it somehow? what do you think?

spirit4711 · 08-10-2009, 11:05 AM

What do you want from this relationship?

Annemarie · 08-10-2009, 11:20 AM

i want him to be happy and content living the way he wants to live, even if he's immature, if that is what he likes. but if this is his choice, then i want him out of my life. i've had enough of it. of course i would prefer him to stay and change, but it's not possible, is it?

spirit4711 · 08-10-2009, 11:32 AM

You can't change other people, they can only change themselves. What you can do is inspire them. That's why I asked, what do you want in this relationship? Once you're clear on that, it's easier to decide what to do next.

So how can you support him, and are you willing to put time, energy and effort in that?

Annemarie · 08-10-2009, 11:42 AM

no. i don't think so.

i need to think on it, now that you've put it this way.

Declan JJ Lestat · 08-10-2009, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annemarie

no. i don't think so.

i need to think on it, now that you've put it this way.

If you're not prepared to put the time and energy into supporting him, as spirit asked, what is there to think about?

You want him to be happy, I'm sure you want YOU to be happy. If that's not possible together... I'm sure you can fill in the blanks!

Annemarie · 08-10-2009, 12:59 PM

you never doubt anything at all once you've settled your mind on it? do you always take decisions of which you are 100% sure ?

i don't.

Declan JJ Lestat · 08-10-2009, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Annemarie

you never doubt anything at all once you've settled your mind on it? do you always take decisions of which you are 100% sure ?

i don't.

Nice point, Annemarie!

amj · 08-17-2009, 03:51 AM

why would you deal with a person like that? If he is not what you want then why bother? It's hard to change someone. People change when they are ready

08-10-2009, 10:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
Annemarie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 21	how do you deal with someone who is inexperienced and imature? well, as the title says. the person in question is not having bad intentions. it's just that he is very immature, he doesn't know when to speak, what to speak or when to shut up. he constantly bothers you with the most idiotic topics, both in public and in privacy and his ideas are out of touch with reality, because he hasn't experienced much so far besides a few aspects of life in which he constantly revolves. he's the type of person that gives you the most silly and useless gifts, so you see, there was a good intention, but then when you open the gift, you just want to smack him repeatedly with it. lol. we're not together or something like this, though he sort of thinks we are (yet another sign of his unbelievable maturity for his age) the person in question is a grown up by age. i've talked to him about this several times and he's taking an absurd attitude about this, he refuses to speak to me for several days after we've had the talk and then comes back as if nothing happened, including taking up his old habits. anyone has experienced this and dealt with it somehow? what do you think?

08-10-2009, 11:05 AM	#2 (permalink)
spirit4711 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 2,244	What do you want from this relationship? __________________ 'Stay hungry, stay foolish' - Steve Jobs Want to improve your business results?

08-10-2009, 11:32 AM	#4 (permalink)
spirit4711 Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: the Netherlands Posts: 2,244	You can't change other people, they can only change themselves. What you can do is inspire them. That's why I asked, what do you want in this relationship? Once you're clear on that, it's easier to decide what to do next. So how can you support him, and are you willing to put time, energy and effort in that? __________________ 'Stay hungry, stay foolish' - Steve Jobs Want to improve your business results?

08-10-2009, 12:59 PM	#7 (permalink)
Annemarie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 21	you never doubt anything at all once you've settled your mind on it? do you always take decisions of which you are 100% sure ? i don't. Last edited by Annemarie; 08-10-2009 at 01:01 PM.

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

08-10-2009, 11:20 AM	#3 (permalink)
Annemarie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 21	i want him to be happy and content living the way he wants to live, even if he's immature, if that is what he likes. but if this is his choice, then i want him out of my life. i've had enough of it. of course i would prefer him to stay and change, but it's not possible, is it?

08-10-2009, 11:42 AM	#5 (permalink)
Annemarie Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 21	no. i don't think so. i need to think on it, now that you've put it this way.

08-17-2009, 03:51 AM	#9 (permalink)
amj Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 313	why would you deal with a person like that? If he is not what you want then why bother? It's hard to change someone. People change when they are ready

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
So what's the deal with Steve?	razorcar123	Steve Pavlina	112	04-25-2009 09:07 AM
how to deal with mistakes...	iamconscious	Personal Effectiveness	4	12-04-2008 03:02 PM
One Day PC Deal	Dan.Linehan	Business & Financial	1	06-26-2008 10:03 PM
What is the deal with God??	Rafael Perez	Spirituality, Consciousness, & Awareness	36	06-13-2008 07:52 AM
How do you deal with rejection…???	Shamou	Personal Effectiveness	12	05-05-2007 09:24 PM

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums