How do you know if a guy is interested in you?

[meg0135]

ugly duckling, the fat ugly friend, the girl you ignore...i've been all of that. i still have some weight to lose and i'm not that confident but i look better than i used to.

i have very little experience with guys. i've never been on a date, except for that one time i got asked but then stood up. so now when a guy is paying attention to me i can't read if they are interested in me. usually i just assume that i'm undateable to most guys anyway. an older woman at work told me that she thought one of my co-workers likes me. now that she mentions it he did seem extra nice but i always just think Oh he's just being nice or Why would a guy like that like you anyway?

Basically my women's intuition is a little off in that sense. so how can you tell if a guy is interested in you or attracted to you? I usually just assume he is being nice unless the guy is blatantly forward about it. Or are most guys blatantly forward if they are interested?

[shasah]

I used to think of myself in that way also, but you need to stop with the "ugly" stuff. Really look at yourself and pick out the things you like and build on them.
As far as the "how can you tell...", when you find out, let me know. Thin, trim, toned, not bad to look at, and even so, I still haven't got a clue. Good luck.

[meg0135]

I dont think I'm ugly all the time, but when you've been called that for years it's kind of hard to get out of. In some weird way that's just what I'm used to

[shasah]

Yes, it does become a habit, doesn't it? One that you really need to break out of. Everyone has attractive features/qualities and not so attractive. Don't beat yourself up so much and improve that which you can improve. And if someone says something negative to you, they are so not worth your time. Kind of off your original subject, but ...

[Vasilisa]

Girls, if a guy is interested in you he will start showing his interest clearly (asking you out, looking at you the way you feel you are desired, trying to be around you as often as possible, talking to you more and etc.)
Sometimes they are shy, in this case you just wait and see if he will be able to overcome it and approach you. I don't see any other way around.

[marinik]

They are the same, and they have the same dilemma - do we like them, are we interested!

As we are, they also are so different.. one will be clumsy around you and blush if he likes you. Most of them will try to be around you as much as they can, and circumstances allow them. They will touch you (in a nice innocent way) for no reason at all. In time the hand stays there for a millisecond longer than if it were a friend - even in "high-five" after a good joke.

Some will find silly reasons to ask you things, and then there are the sleek types that do very interesting little bits to take your attention.

I was and ugly duckling and never felt when I turned into a beautiful swan... I was totally perplexed that first summer what the boys/men wonted from me! You will learn to recognize the sings.

And I do not agree with Vasilisa that the only thing you can do is wait. You can reciprocate. If you are interested too show it, flirt. It is the most played sport on this planet. It has to be practiced too

[James81]

Most guys are pretty direct when they like you. Meaning, there are no hidden clues with guys. Their interest, even when they are shy, is usually pretty blatant and obvious. And most of the time, he'll make a move of some kind (i.e. ask you out, kiss you, etc.).

There are, however, certain guys who are too shy/backwards to ask you out. These guys won't be so blatant, but it should still be pretty obvious that he likes you. The standard stuff:

He'll be around you and talking to you
He'll tease you
He'll compliment you
He'll help you with stuff
He may even touch you (like on the arm, shoulder, etc.)
He'll tell you about his life and ask you about yours

Basically, we're a little more obvious than girls with our clues. And that's because most guys stay pretty much on the surface of things and don't analyze social cues and reactions that deeply, and, hence, we aren't that deep with our interests socially either.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by Vasilisa

... Sometimes they are shy, in this case you just wait and see if he will be able to overcome it and approach you. I don't see any other way around.

Try and approach him - it's not against the law .

[Brutha]

And most of the time, he'll make a move of some kind (i.e. ask you out, kiss you, etc.).

There are very well guys who are to shy to make a move.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Sometimes you may have to make the first move. If a woman takes charge and asks the man if he is interested in her, it would be a change of pace and may work in your favor, or it could backfire. If you want to know what men are thinking, just ask them. Isn't it easier to be direct than to spend all your time playing detective, trying to figure out what's inside everyone's head?

Show confidence and pride in your appearance. Even if you're not the hottest person in the room, that doesn't mean you are undatable. It just means you may have to work harder to find someone to be your companion.

[Vasilisa]

Yes, I agree flirting is good, but I don't agree with "aproach him yourself" approach.
Our task is to show a man that he is welcome to communicate, we don't bite, we like him. But a man should make the first step, it will make him proud of himself and will help him feel manly.

[James81]

Originally Posted by Brutha

There are very well guys who are to shy to make a move.

Yeah, chief, I know. That's why the rest of my post exists.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by Vasilisa

Yes, I agree flirting is good, but I don't agree with "aproach him yourself" approach.
Our task is to show a man that he is welcome to communicate, we don't bite, we like him. But a man should make the first step, it will make him proud of himself and will help him feel manly.

Is that another way to say you're scared of approaching him?

I understand what you say, but if what you do doesn't work, you might try something different and see how that goes. Why limit yourself to 'this is how it's supposed to be'?

[amj]

Originally Posted by meg0135

ugly duckling, the fat ugly friend, the girl you ignore...i've been all of that. i still have some weight to lose and i'm not that confident but i look better than i used to.

i have very little experience with guys. i've never been on a date, except for that one time i got asked but then stood up. so now when a guy is paying attention to me i can't read if they are interested in me. usually i just assume that i'm undateable to most guys anyway. an older woman at work told me that she thought one of my co-workers likes me. now that she mentions it he did seem extra nice but i always just think Oh he's just being nice or Why would a guy like that like you anyway?

Basically my women's intuition is a little off in that sense. so how can you tell if a guy is interested in you or attracted to you? I usually just assume he is being nice unless the guy is blatantly forward about it. Or are most guys blatantly forward if they are interested?

I'll give you a man's opinion. Confidence is attractive. Conceit is ugly and low self-esteem is ugly. If you are confident you will get what you want. If you don't feel confident, fake it. It doesn't matter if a guy likes you. What matters is whether you like the guy. Be confident and you will get what you want. Can you dig it?