Coping with heartache - what should I do?

[hwelford16]

My boyfriend of three years ended our relationship back in January. I took it quite badly and lost too much weight by starving myself and generally became very bitter and emotional. Although we agreed to be friends because we were in the same history a-level class and have a lot of mutual friends it didn't work out and he either ignored me or made fun of me. He only spoke to me via MSN where he usually went on about how great his life is.
About six weeks ago we both went on a short break together with friends and realised we could be civil to each other and got on well. Too well - after a few drinks we kissed. Nothing amazing you're probably thinking but after months of barely speaking to each other in person it completely threw me. Since then we have got on a lot better and two weeks ago went to a friends birthday party where he acted like we were a couple; buying me drinks, playfully teasing me and hugging and kissing when we were alone. He has recently gone on holiday for a month and I have been missing him and hoping that when he returns something will happen between us.
Yesterday I was talking to a guy who I have been friends with for a while and know is interested in me although I don't feel the same way. I have politely refused him several times but he won't get the hint and has even been contacting my friends to get information about me when I tried to stay away from him. He again asked me about meeting for a date so I was straight with him and told him that I still had feelings for my ex-boyfriend and how I feel there is still something between us. He then went on to tell me how my ex-boyfriend tried chatting up all of his friends and is only trying to get back with me because no-one else wants him and that I shouldn't bother. I have tried seeking advice from my friends who seem divided in their opinions.
Sorry this is so long, an outsiders perspective would be great, who should I believe? What would you do in this situation?

[MiBeloved]

The problem has little to do with either your ex or the other guy. It has more to do with you, because you do not know what you are looking for.
Are you searching for a committed relation with marriage or without marriage?
What do you want in a relationship? As soon as you can define that, everything will clear up, as then you will see which one of these guys fits snugly into the mold.
Your description seems to indicate that you have much uncertainly and don’t really know what you are looking for.
Try to clear it up to yourself and then see which of the guys is best suited. Then pursue a relationship.

[drakecatz]

MiBeloved is right one! Your post is all about waiting to see what he will do next! Ask yourself what you will do next and you'll be back on track. Right now it's like your his puppet and he pulls all the strings.

Get strong girl! Being clingy or needy is not attractive and he knows he has you there. You're free to date, so do so if you want. Otherwise, start projecting a stronger better you. You'll be more attractive to everyone, and much happier with yourself.