Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

siryessir08 · 07-31-2009, 10:00 PM

I have a problem guys.

I can't make friends. I can't talk to people.

Almost every time I meet someone at a social event, I quickly realize that they are stupid.

Seriously though, most guys my age want to talk about getting drunk, and watching football, and f**king girls.

Most girls my age want to talk about getting drunk, and anything indulging their incessant need to be materialistic, and, of course, they love to ♥♥♥♥♥ about their boyfriends and jobs.

If I attempt to make any sort of intelligent conversation with my fellow students of OSU, I am very quickly disappointed.

Is there a way to make someone who is talking about their awesome drunken sex last night appear less stupid to me?

Daffy Duck · 07-31-2009, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siryessir08

I can't make friends. I can't talk to people.

Sure you can. You just need to find people who are worth talking to, for you. If you have a mature mind, you may find it difficult to relate to people of your age. When I was a teenager, I found I often enjoyed the company of adults more than other teens. I liked the maturity. I don't like talking to drunk college people either. Join a club with like-minded people and you'll start making some friends.

Quote:

Originally Posted by siryessir08

my fellow students of OSU

Oh wait, actually, this is your major problem. Should have been a Florida Gator!!

siryessir08 · 07-31-2009, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

Sure you can. You just need to find people who are worth talking to, for you. If you have a mature mind, you may find it difficult to relate to people of your age. When I was a teenager, I found I often enjoyed the company of adults more than other teens. I liked the maturity. I don't like talking to drunk college people either. Join a club with like-minded people and you'll start making some friends.

Oh wait, actually, this is your major problem. Should have been a Florida Gator!!

I see where you are coming from there. Once I went to a Toastmasters meeting, and I loved the people there even though they were all 20 years older than me.

Where are other good places to meet non-stupid people? How about non-stupid people in their early 20s?

Daffy Duck · 07-31-2009, 10:22 PM

Do you have any non-stupid friends? If so, ask them to introduce you to their friends.

Or try meeting people on a more one-to-one basis. I've often found that the "drunk idiot" at the party is not such a silly guy when he's not being influenced by his peers to chug down beers.

Abitofzen · 07-31-2009, 10:31 PM

There are two general ways to deal with this.

Daffy pretty much covered the first.

I would only add that you might want to put some time into finding clubs, classes, or social groups that are a good fit for you. There are probably quite a few on campus. Chess clubs, book reading clubs (at least they're literate, right

), and wine tastings will be a good place to start, but ultimately you will want to play to your own tastes.

The other thing you can do... is try to look a little deeper into the conversations you're having now. Ask these football guys what it is they love about sports so much. Ask people what makes them so interested in the things they seemed to be obsessed with.

Why are you so interested in having intellectual conversation?

What do you find most interesting about it?

What does that do for you?

I would love to hear your answers, and I also present these questions because they are the kinds of questions you can ask anyone about virtually anything (filling in the topic as appropriate)... and if you are a curious person (most intellectuals are), then you can have a very interesting conversation even with a 'stupid' person or an 'immature' person.

Or you can always just have a bit of drunken sex yourself... and see what everybody's raving about...

keep smiling,

Ben

inconditus · 07-31-2009, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Or you can always just have a bit of drunken sex yourself... and see what everybody's raving about...

keep smiling,

Ben

I like your advice. I am going to start doing those things

siryessir08 · 07-31-2009, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abitofzen

There are two general ways to deal with this.

Why are you so interested in having intellectual conversation?

What do you find most interesting about it?

What does that do for you?

Or you can always just have a bit of drunken sex yourself... and see what everybody's raving about...

keep smiling,

Ben

I simply like conversation that makes me think. Talking about things that I talked about everyday when I was 16 is mind-numbing at this point.

It makes me feel alive to talk about physics and chemistry (or even psychology, evolution, hydroponic gardening...) with someone who knows what they are talking about.
But factual knowledge isn't the only important thing. It's also important that they are emotionally evolved enough to have a religious or political conversation and accept my views as legitimate. A relative truth perspective is very important.
Philosophical things are also thrilling...truth, love, justice, genuine happiness.

Where can I find these people? Other than the steve pavlina forums that is...

I've taken two girls' virginity in drunken sex in the past. One of the occasions I don't even remember. Haha.
If I were to have sex on any substance, I think it would be ecstasy...too bad it's so bad for you...I'm saving that experience for my wedding.

And Daffy...I have made a few non-stupid friends throughout my life. Generally they hang out with stupid people.

siryessir08 · 07-31-2009, 11:08 PM

Really though. This forum is full of smart people.

Where do you all hang out? Do any of you live in Columbus, Ohio???

Lanya · 08-01-2009, 12:04 AM

Undergraduate Student Clubs and Societies | College of Mathematical and Physical Sciences
undergraduate philosophy club @ osu

You have a philosophy AND a chem club!

MidasGirl · 08-01-2009, 12:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siryessir08

Almost every time I meet someone at a social event, I quickly realize that they are stupid.

Lolz........This has given me the biggest laugh here today, thanks. Hey, trust me, you aren't the first to realize that being smarter than most people around you is quite the social burden. We feel your pain

Lanya · 08-01-2009, 01:08 AM

I just thought this was funny in a relevant way:

xkcd - A Webcomic - Sheeple

pjhaggerty · 08-01-2009, 01:24 AM

Dude, why don't you go socialize with your professors then? Most college kids aren't going to relate to you at all. The only way that would happen is if you toned down your intellectualism at parties or wherever. Go to office hours if you need stimulating conversation, I'm sure the professor will appreciate it much more than your frat boy friends will.

Brutha · 08-01-2009, 01:46 AM

If I would ask at random one of your classmates, would they tell me that you are a guy that likes to have deep intellectual discussion?

LifeFirst · 08-01-2009, 02:40 AM

Here's a tip:

stop looking down on others who doesn't meet your expectations.

siryessir08 · 08-01-2009, 02:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeFirst

Here's a tip:

stop looking down on others who doesn't meet your expectations.

I never said I looked down on stupid people, silly.

I just have no desire to develop relationships with them.

Beuford · 08-01-2009, 04:40 AM

It is much worse as a 15 year old in high school.

Dreamline · 08-02-2009, 01:15 AM

Even incredibly brilliant people know how to cut loose at a party. Lighten up, Einstein. Stop trying to talk about physics at parties and social events.

Life is a balance. Seek it.

Jennifer

James81 · 08-02-2009, 03:12 AM

Sounds like you need to make friends with older people.

I promise you that MOST of that BS goes away by the time you hit 30 and above. And there are a lot more people just like you out there than you realize. You just aren't looking in the right places and you have to put yourself out there FIRST before you are going to get intelligent conversation. If you are lacking in intelligent convos, it's because you aren't starting any. Take the initiative and do it. You might be surprised at who will have a convo like that with you.

brendannz · 08-02-2009, 01:40 PM

So you don't like talking about getting drunk and watching sports. What do you like talking about?

If you tell us your hobbies, we may be able to suggest ways of meeting people alligned to them or recommend new hobbies.. (possibly)

"Even an intelligent man, needs to get drunk to spend time with his fools" - Earnest Hemmingway, heheheh

MidasGirl · 08-02-2009, 04:22 PM

Lol, nice quote Brendannz. I'm thinking he might have been semi-kidding, trying to make humor out of stupidity, maybe he had even drank a few when he wrote that post

drakecatz · 08-02-2009, 04:30 PM

[QUOTE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by siryessir08

It's also important that they are emotionally evolved enough to have a religious or political conversation and accept my views as legitimate. A relative truth perspective is very important.

Conversation is a two way street. Are you well studied in all the areas you are interested in?

Any "stupid" person can expound on the topics of their choice. If you "views" are "opinions" with nothing to back them up, most won't look at them as legitimate.

EastcoastMan · 08-02-2009, 05:03 PM

You just have to find people who are like minded. I know it's hard especially when we spend most of our time around people we work with, go to school with and family members.

But I would suggest that you find a place where people who think like you do like to hang out. That is one of the reasons that I visit blogs and forums like this one to meet and socialize with people who at least think like I do.

LifeFirst · 08-02-2009, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by siryessir08

I never said I looked down on stupid people, silly.

I just have no desire to develop relationships with them.

Lol...okay....you call them stupid and yet at the same time you don't look down on them?

Alright.....speaks a lot about what kind of person you are. Just be glad that we'll probably never meet in real life. I'll make you look real stupid.

Daffy Duck · 08-02-2009, 08:14 PM

LifeFirst, it sounds like you're looking down on siryessir.

dirtyhive · 08-02-2009, 08:19 PM

Yeah, you sound pretty patronising.

Listen, I like to drink a lot at parties, make a fool of myself, tell stupid jokes and be a retard. I am in pretty good shape and have decent muscles. I bet that if you met me at a party, you'd pigeonhole me in your head as some kind of dumbass jock. People do it to me all the time, and I wish they'd get their heads out of their asses. I have a degree, I know five different web programming languages, I read books on psychology and evolutionary biology and regularly write blogs on the subjects of logic, politics and religious debate. I like to cut loose at parties, okay? I don't go there to talk about my science coursework, I go to meet people and drink and hear loud music. Bite me.

I think you are that guy who thinks I'm dumb, frankly. I think you should reconsider.

siryessir08 · 08-03-2009, 01:23 AM

[QUOTE=drakecatz;390895]

Quote:

Conversation is a two way street. Are you well studied in all the areas you are interested in?

Any "stupid" person can expound on the topics of their choice. If you "views" are "opinions" with nothing to back them up, most won't look at them as legitimate.

So you are saying that if I believe in flying sky pixies that will grant me eternal life in magic land if I simply worship them every day of my life (of course, if I don't, I'll go to unhappy land), which is completely unfounded logically, then my views should not be considered legitimate.

All we really know in life is that we as individuals exist. I think therefore I am. Beyond that our entire existence is made of nothing more than thoughts.

I see Christians views as legimate, because I can't disprove them. I expect my own religious beliefs to be treated the same.

siryessir08 · 08-03-2009, 01:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LifeFirst

Lol...okay....you call them stupid and yet at the same time you don't look down on them?

Alright.....speaks a lot about what kind of person you are. Just be glad that we'll probably never meet in real life. I'll make you look real stupid.

I'm sorry, but were you called stupid a lot when you were a kid?

You are taking this very personally. Do you look down on stupid people? Are you looking down on me for thinking many people are stupid?

Thanks for judging me, you've been a very productive addition to this thread.

siryessir08 · 08-03-2009, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirtyhive

Yeah, you sound pretty patronising.

Listen, I like to drink a lot at parties, make a fool of myself, tell stupid jokes and be a retard. I am in pretty good shape and have decent muscles. I bet that if you met me at a party, you'd pigeonhole me in your head as some kind of dumbass jock. People do it to me all the time, and I wish they'd get their heads out of their asses. I have a degree, I know five different web programming languages, I read books on psychology and evolutionary biology and regularly write blogs on the subjects of logic, politics and religious debate. I like to cut loose at parties, okay? I don't go there to talk about my science coursework, I go to meet people and drink and hear loud music. Bite me.

I think you are that guy who thinks I'm dumb, frankly. I think you should reconsider.

You probably wouldn't see me at a party. Do you incessantly talk about your love of getting drunk and f**king girls when you are not partying? Would you be willing to talk about evolutionary biology at a setting you would more likely see me, like a small get-together at a friend's house (no alcohol, just marijuana)?

You would NEVER see me at a party. Alcohol does nothing but make the ego stronger in oneself, and I see no gain in being in that state or being around people in that state. I doubt a party would be a good place to talk about philosophy, although the greeks would disagree with me.

Sorry that you took this so personally.

I'm sorry for hurting you. You are a victim here. This might sound patronizing, but I'm just teasing you.

brendannz · 08-03-2009, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

Lol, nice quote Brendannz. I'm thinking he might have been semi-kidding, trying to make humor out of stupidity, maybe he had even drank a few when he wrote that post

Yeah I'm not sure, I just posted that quote for humour.

but all I know is the original poster has told us what he doesn't like talking about, but hasn't told us what he does like talking about, so we have no way of helping him really..

drakecatz · 08-03-2009, 04:42 AM

[QUOTE]

Quote:

Originally Posted by siryessir08

So you are saying that if I believe in flying sky pixies that will grant me eternal life in magic land if I simply worship them every day of my life (of course, if I don't, I'll go to unhappy land), which is completely unfounded logically, then my views should not be considered legitimate.

No. They are legitimate as would be legitimately your thoughts.

I was thinking more about physics, chemistry & hydroponic gardening, when I asked if you were "studied." It's good to have knowledge before you engage in these subjects.

Psychology, evolution, and flying sky pixies leave the speaker open to as much imagine, (or fact,) as they choose to project. But even then, one should have a good handle on the principals of their opinion.

It has a lot to do with "owning" what you are talking about.

07-31-2009, 10:00 PM	#1 (permalink)
siryessir08 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 205	Stupidity in the Common Man I have a problem guys. I can't make friends. I can't talk to people. Almost every time I meet someone at a social event, I quickly realize that they are stupid. Seriously though, most guys my age want to talk about getting drunk, and watching football, and f*king girls. Most girls my age want to talk about getting drunk, and anything indulging their incessant need to be materialistic, and, of course, they love to ♥♥♥♥♥ about their boyfriends and jobs. If I attempt to make any sort of intelligent conversation with my fellow students of OSU, I am very quickly disappointed. Is there a way to make someone who is talking about their awesome drunken sex last night appear less stupid to me? Last edited by siryessir08; 07-31-2009 at 10:18 PM.*

07-31-2009, 10:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
Abitofzen Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Colorado Springs Posts: 211	the other option There are two general ways to deal with this. Daffy pretty much covered the first. I would only add that you might want to put some time into finding clubs, classes, or social groups that are a good fit for you. There are probably quite a few on campus. Chess clubs, book reading clubs (at least they're literate, right ), and wine tastings will be a good place to start, but ultimately you will want to play to your own tastes. The other thing you can do... is try to look a little deeper into the conversations you're having now. Ask these football guys what it is they love about sports so much. Ask people what makes them so interested in the things they seemed to be obsessed with. Why are you so interested in having intellectual conversation? What do you find most interesting about it? What does that do for you? I would love to hear your answers, and I also present these questions because they are the kinds of questions you can ask anyone about virtually anything (filling in the topic as appropriate)... and if you are a curious person (most intellectuals are), then you can have a very interesting conversation even with a 'stupid' person or an 'immature' person. Or you can always just have a bit of drunken sex yourself... and see what everybody's raving about... keep smiling, Ben

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
is deja vu common?	1onewonjuan	Psychic & Paranormal	31	05-19-2009 04:40 AM
Common cold	Nova	Health & Fitness	17	01-15-2009 11:37 AM
Common cold and flu	bluedragon	Health & Fitness	6	11-22-2008 07:53 PM
It's Common Sense	jawillie	Intention-Manifestation	4	06-19-2008 02:09 PM
Sheer ignorance and stupidity	Gordon	Emotional Mastery	29	12-04-2007 06:13 PM

07-31-2009, 10:22 PM	#4 (permalink)
Daffy Duck Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 3,001	Do you have any non-stupid friends? If so, ask them to introduce you to their friends. Or try meeting people on a more one-to-one basis. I've often found that the "drunk idiot" at the party is not such a silly guy when he's not being influenced by his peers to chug down beers.

07-31-2009, 11:08 PM	#8 (permalink)
siryessir08 Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Cleveland, Ohio Posts: 205	Really though. This forum is full of smart people. Where do you all hang out? Do any of you live in Columbus, Ohio???

08-01-2009, 12:04 AM	#9 (permalink)
Lanya Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 307	Undergraduate Student Clubs and Societies \| College of Mathematical and Physical Sciences undergraduate philosophy club @ osu You have a philosophy AND a chem club!

08-01-2009, 01:08 AM	#11 (permalink)
Lanya Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 307	I just thought this was funny in a relevant way: xkcd - A Webcomic - Sheeple

08-01-2009, 01:24 AM	#12 (permalink)
pjhaggerty Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 402	Dude, why don't you go socialize with your professors then? Most college kids aren't going to relate to you at all. The only way that would happen is if you toned down your intellectualism at parties or wherever. Go to office hours if you need stimulating conversation, I'm sure the professor will appreciate it much more than your frat boy friends will.

08-01-2009, 01:46 AM	#13 (permalink)
Brutha Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Berlin, Germany Posts: 8,749	If I would ask at random one of your classmates, would they tell me that you are a guy that likes to have deep intellectual discussion?

08-01-2009, 02:40 AM	#14 (permalink)
LifeFirst Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 391	Here's a tip: stop looking down on others who doesn't meet your expectations.

08-01-2009, 04:40 AM	#16 (permalink)
Beuford Family Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Australia Posts: 1,041	It is much worse as a 15 year old in high school.

08-02-2009, 01:15 AM	#17 (permalink)
Dreamline Banned Join Date: May 2009 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 989	Even incredibly brilliant people know how to cut loose at a party. Lighten up, Einstein. Stop trying to talk about physics at parties and social events. Life is a balance. Seek it. Jennifer

08-02-2009, 03:12 AM	#18 (permalink)
James81 Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 12,690	Sounds like you need to make friends with older people. I promise you that MOST of that BS goes away by the time you hit 30 and above. And there are a lot more people just like you out there than you realize. You just aren't looking in the right places and you have to put yourself out there FIRST before you are going to get intelligent conversation. If you are lacking in intelligent convos, it's because you aren't starting any. Take the initiative and do it. You might be surprised at who will have a convo like that with you.

08-02-2009, 01:40 PM	#19 (permalink)
brendannz Family Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 3,612	So you don't like talking about getting drunk and watching sports. What do you like talking about? If you tell us your hobbies, we may be able to suggest ways of meeting people alligned to them or recommend new hobbies.. (possibly) "Even an intelligent man, needs to get drunk to spend time with his fools" - Earnest Hemmingway, heheheh

08-02-2009, 04:22 PM	#20 (permalink)
MidasGirl Family Member Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Off this forum from 10/27/10 to 10/27/11. Yay me! Posts: 2,944	Lol, nice quote Brendannz. I'm thinking he might have been semi-kidding, trying to make humor out of stupidity, maybe he had even drank a few when he wrote that post

08-02-2009, 05:03 PM	#22 (permalink)
EastcoastMan Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Eastern Canada Posts: 32	You just have to find people who are like minded. I know it's hard especially when we spend most of our time around people we work with, go to school with and family members. But I would suggest that you find a place where people who think like you do like to hang out. That is one of the reasons that I visit blogs and forums like this one to meet and socialize with people who at least think like I do.

08-02-2009, 08:14 PM	#24 (permalink)
Daffy Duck Banned Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 3,001	LifeFirst, it sounds like you're looking down on siryessir.

08-02-2009, 08:19 PM	#25 (permalink)
dirtyhive Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 81	Yeah, you sound pretty patronising. Listen, I like to drink a lot at parties, make a fool of myself, tell stupid jokes and be a retard. I am in pretty good shape and have decent muscles. I bet that if you met me at a party, you'd pigeonhole me in your head as some kind of dumbass jock. People do it to me all the time, and I wish they'd get their heads out of their asses. I have a degree, I know five different web programming languages, I read books on psychology and evolutionary biology and regularly write blogs on the subjects of logic, politics and religious debate. I like to cut loose at parties, okay? I don't go there to talk about my science coursework, I go to meet people and drink and hear loud music. Bite me. I think you are that guy who thinks I'm dumb, frankly. I think you should reconsider.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums