Meeting more women

[brendannz]

OK, my lifes going pretty well at the moment. I'm seeing progress all the time in most areas of my life, which is what it's all about I think! I've sold 5 original paintings this month (possibly 6 or 7 but think it's 5). There's other things in my life that are going awesome, and I have things to look forward to.. Won't go into too much detail..

There's one area of my life I'm not seeing lots of improvement in.. (Although posssibly my time thinking about it has improved me for future encounters. )

Meeting women. I really like women a lot, but don't seem to meet and interact with lots of them on a regular basis. I figure the best way to be attractive is to be happy, so I try and do more things that will make me happy.. I'm an introvert, but some things I like going out to do, which make me happy, are playing basketball (on an outdoor court with new people), but I only meet males when I do that.. and also going to live music. So I'm trying to find about one gig a month to go to. Basically if I'm feeling good, I'll smile more, so I'll be more attractive. So maybe I need to find new activities which will make me happy..

But also want to know places that are good to meet women other than women who are employed to serve behind a counter? It sounds a bit absurd because there's more women than men in my country.. But yeah, anyway, does anyone know any good ways / places to meet cool & intelligent women? I work from home, so have no women in my office..

I tend to believe connecting with them is more likely to happen naturally when I'm relaxed and feeling good.. (sometimes my problem is just that I can't relax)

But yeah, was wondering if anyone has any tips for meeting the opposite sex, other than dating sites.

[Brutha]

Various New Age groups like Yoga or Tai Chi groups have often a high amout of female members.

Salsa dancing courses (and other dance courses probably as well) are also a good way since you directly interact with a specific woman in them.
They also give you practice with asking woman to dance with you.

[Alexi]

I'm assuming you've heard of books like "The Game", but if you haven't --might want to check that out. It's helpful, at least in some capacity, for everyone, and is very entertaining.

Might also want to try bookstores, college campuses, or Yoga classes like Brutha said. I'm struggling with it too, all the cool girls seem to like hide up in trees during the day or something.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Alexi

I'm assuming you've heard of books like "The Game", but if you haven't --might want to check that out. It's helpful, at least in some capacity, for everyone, and is very entertaining.

Might also want to try bookstores, college campuses, or Yoga classes like Brutha said. I'm struggling with it too, all the cool girls seem to like hide up in trees during the day or something.

Yeah, I've read the game.. Highly entertaining read...

I don't want to walk up to random girls and say "who lies more, men or women?" it's basically forcing them to give a sexist opinion to a completely stranger. But I enjoyed the book though quite a lot. Got its good points I agree, but I'm more keen on meeting women than sarging women.

I talked to a lot of girls today, at the affordable art show. (where my paintings were sold) I got one artist business card and sent her an email to say what I thought of her works, and also told her to check out mine. (in email) I'm not sure if she'll even reply, I don't care too much. But she lives in Auckland (8 hours away) and is just down for the weekend. It would be cool if she emailed back and had some conversation and then arranged to hang out.. just for the sake of hanging out with more girls when I do go to Auckland.. But yeah, don't know if she'll even reply..

So today, I did quite well with girls. no numbers/ emails, but talked to a number, even had some girl recognise me, from when I worked in the mall. If everyday was like today, I'd probably be doing real well... But lots of days I only talk to my parents and whoever serves me at the supermarket and / or cafe..

I'm thinking internet might be the best way to go, after all I'm more of a writer than a speaker.. and plus it might be a good way to go on lots of dates with no attachment to outcome.. so good practice for when you do find "the one"

[this is fun]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Salsa dancing courses (and other dance courses probably as well) are also a good way since you directly interact with a specific woman in them.
They also give you practice with asking woman to dance with you.

This is true. If you like dancing of course. I used to take salsa lessons and there were always more women than men, so we kind of 'shared' them. The men ended up dancing the whole lesson while we had to wait our turn

[Abitofzen]

Originally Posted by this is fun

This is true. If you like dancing of course. I used to take salsa lessons and there were always more women than men, so we kind of 'shared' them. The men ended up dancing the whole lesson while we had to wait our turn

Which is a great place for a guy to be...

This is a great point, and even if you don't like dancing... it might be useful to learn to love it because of the ratio of women to men.

There is a structure here... find what women are into, that men typically aren't, and do that. You'll meet tons of women, and in those enviroments, you will have virtually no competition. Dance, yoga, pilates, interior design, and a wide variety of arts and crafts are a good place to start.

Be cautious about how far you take this... if you are the guy that is into everything 'girly', it can come off a little weird.

I would encourage you to avoid bars and clubs, as these are typically the opposite. Plenty of guys trying to pick up women... and the women frequently develop 'defenses' to deal with this... you won't have to worry about that at a dance class.

keep smiling,

Ben

[Brutha]

This is true. If you like dancing of course. I used to take salsa lessons and there were always more women than men, so we kind of 'shared' them.

At going to salsa lessons was stepping outside of my comfort zone for me.

It's okay that it doesn't feel good the first time. That shows that one stretches.

[this is fun]

Originally Posted by Brutha

At going to salsa lessons was stepping outside of my comfort zone for me.

It's okay that it doesn't feel good the first time. That shows that one stretches.

You are right. When you show up for the first lesson everyone is a bit 'nervous' but as the course progresses everyone relaxes and it becomes a lot of fun, at least in my case. As far as stepping outside comfort zone goes, I remember two guys who let's say couldn't quite get the rhythm at first and they made wrong steps, bumping into their partners and one could tell it was something outside their comfort zone, but they were still doing it, so they had my respect. And I always had a lot of fun dancing with them.

[this is fun]

Originally Posted by abitofzen

which is a great place for a guy to be... :d

Right

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Abitofzen

Which is a great place for a guy to be...

This is a great point, and even if you don't like dancing... it might be useful to learn to love it because of the ratio of women to men.

There is a structure here... find what women are into, that men typically aren't, and do that. You'll meet tons of women, and in those enviroments, you will have virtually no competition. Dance, yoga, pilates, interior design, and a wide variety of arts and crafts are a good place to start.

Be cautious about how far you take this... if you are the guy that is into everything 'girly', it can come off a little weird.

I would encourage you to avoid bars and clubs, as these are typically the opposite. Plenty of guys trying to pick up women... and the women frequently develop 'defenses' to deal with this... you won't have to worry about that at a dance class.

keep smiling,

Ben

Thanks everyone for their feedback!

At the moment salsa dancing is quite far out of my comfort zone, to the point where it would feel real weird going along. Almost like the guy in the Japanese film Shall We Dance, and basically I'd be there entirely to meet women and not entirely to enjoy myself. It might be girlyfying myself too fast too soon, but I will keep it in mind, as it sounds like a good idea.. When I'm out of my parents home, (soon) I think I'll feel I have more freedom..

I may look at Tai Chi and meditative type activities because I think I could really benefit from them, if I learn to relax a bit more...

Plus more of the music and arts scene, I'm already very comfortable with these activities and there's women who are heavily into them.. especially the arts.

Last gig I went to, (2.5 months ago) I ended up hooking up with some cute and smart girl, and metup again for coffee, and got too nervous, I'd built the date up to be a really massive event in my head, a much bigger deal than it really was, and didn't really build enough comfort, she seemed sweet and cool, but didn't want to stick around, so didn't return my email.. but yeah, that was all good, there's more women than men where I live. I learnt lots from the date that didn't go so well, and so think meeting more girls, in that kind of scenario might be a good thing, maybe hit it off, and if not, learn lessons..

But basically I decided from there, that I need to meet more women, so I don't make things out to be a too big deal when I do... and plus, I learnt that I need to be living life to the full more.. and since then, my life's improved since then, bought the house to move into soon, and plus my artwork is selling like hot cakes, have met up with friends more...

I think it's really just a matter of getting out and having more fun in general..
Finding events to go and do other than watching sports, playing pool, or going bowling (typical guy activities)..

More gigs is a must.. Maybe more art-type events.. relax some more..

It's partly that last year I was in a city of 8 million people and this year I'm in a city of 200,000 people, so it's quite a downsize.. But I'm starting to love it..

[chrisrushton]

this isn't something i've tried personally, but i consider it a solid opportunity but have you considered speed dating? in my city they sometimes have student only speed dating and i'd have gone to one before now except i was busy or not around. i bottled one too, when i was younger and less confident but I wish I'd gone. I'm a little young (23) for most of the speed dating things that I've seen. Friends that I know who have done it have often heard "if you were 5 years older..."

the thing here is, there's no bullsh!t. everyone's there to meet new people and are looking for people to date too. Even if you don't end up meeting anyone on your first attempt, at least you can work on your 5 minute conversation, etc etc etc. You could always sign up to a dating website too.

It seems that what you're doing at the moment isn't working the way you want to. It might be time to change or add a few things. Don't get me wrong, you certainly shouldn't stop playing basketball or going to gigs, but do them because you love them, not because you are trying to meet women. It's something cool to talk about when you do meet them though. Certainly better than talking about the weather

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by chrisrushton

It seems that what you're doing at the moment isn't working the way you want to. It might be time to change or add a few things. Don't get me wrong, you certainly shouldn't stop playing basketball or going to gigs, but do them because you love them, not because you are trying to meet women. It's something cool to talk about when you do meet them though. Certainly better than talking about the weather

Yeah speed dating sounds like a good idea, I might try it just for the social practice. Although it costs a fair bit, but that's fine, I mean, it's a night out..

It's not so much what I'm doing isn't working the way I want, my life seems to be going in the right direction..
it's just that I'm not really meeting women, and maybe not actually doing anything to meet them.. (why I started this thread) Maybe I need to small talk counter girls more than I have been, or so, random strangers etc...

I went to 1 gig this year, and had one girl, approach me. So it was pretty good success rate, and plus I love getting into new music, seeing new bands and stuff.. Music's an important part of my life.. and last year when I lived in London I went to on average a gig every week.. So I should definitely occasionally go to gigs in town to enjoy music and enjoy my life... But I can't really expect to find girls that are going there to hook up, they're not pickup joints, everyones there to see the band, but if you meet someone it's cool..

I might try and add some new fun activities.. and hopefully there'll be women along the way, and if not, I'll still have fun..

The other thing is you're 23, and getting told "if you were 5 years older" but I'm 27 and 28 in about 2.5 months, but I look like I'm 22-23, but that's alright, I've figured it's best not to think too much about it, unless I want to grow a beard or something, which I don't really..

[Brutha]

At the moment salsa dancing is quite far out of my comfort zone, to the point where it would feel real weird going along.

When I started with Salsa I felt the same way about it.

It teaches you comfortable interaction with the opposite sex while having body contact which is proabably an area where you have little experience.
Building skills is about showing up and moving outside your comfort zone. There's no faster way to learn.

And if you aren't comforable with touching the opposite sex while being on a date that's a problem for you.

The other thing is you're 23, and getting told "if you were 5 years older" but I'm 27 and 28 in about 2.5 months, but I look like I'm 22-23, but that's alright, I've figured it's best not to think too much about it, unless I want to grow a beard or something, which I don't really..

Woman tell you "if you were 5 years older" when you communicate a vibe of having little experience around woman.
They fact that you are two young is simply the best explanation for them of why you are communicating that kind of vibe.

But I can't really expect to find girls that are going there to hook up, they're not pickup joints, everyones there to see the band, but if you meet someone it's cool.

It certainly possible to meet girls there, but it requires you to approach girls witch is hard and outside your comfort zone.

[Coffeesmurf]

I've danced salsa for a couple of seasons - and not only is it a great way to interact with women.. it's damn fun! As mentioned, there's usually more women than men at the classes.. I've seen girls start loud arguments over whose turn it was to dance with a man

I don't know about your town, but here's there's a couple of places/bars that feature "drop-in" salsa, where you just show up, get about an hours worth of beginners dancing lessons and can then dance with the girls who showed up.. it's usually very relaxed, fun and without too much pressure. Plus, everybody is new at it, so it doesn't matter if you suck at first. I've shown up at some of these after getting training and it usually impresses the beginner girls quite a bit - dirty trick, I know

A couple of months ago, I decided it was boring mountainbiking alone and searched for training partners at a website. A week later, I did the first ride with four people, including two very sweet (single) girls. We all got along perfectly and now I've gained four good friends. I just went to the cinema with one of the girls yesterday and we're going road biking together soon. So trying out some kind of group sport might be an idea..

[Abitofzen]

Originally Posted by Brutha

Woman tell you "if you were 5 years older" when you communicate a vibe of having little experience around woman.
They fact that you are two young is simply the best explanation for them of why you are communicating that kind of vibe.
.

This is a great point.

Pay attention to the vibe you're putting across. The best way to tell is just notice the dominant emotion or sensation in your body at the time. It is very useful to learn to play with this. For example, I have a very calm and relaxed vibe... virtually all the time... although a lot of people appreciate this, I had to learn to mix it up for myself and my social skills.

Keep in mind that people will always make excuses for their feelings. If they feel attracted, you being 5 years younger made be described as "Your so young and vibrant" or "Your so mature for your age". If they aren't attracted, you'll hear every excuse from "you're too young" to "my canary is having and existential crisis"

keep smiling,

Ben

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Brutha

When I started with Salsa I felt the same way about it.

It teaches you comfortable interaction with the opposite sex while having body contact which is proabably an area where you have little experience.
Building skills is about showing up and moving outside your comfort zone. There's no faster way to learn.

And if you aren't comforable with touching the opposite sex while being on a date that's a problem for you.
Woman tell you "if you were 5 years older" when you communicate a vibe of having little experience around woman.
They fact that you are two young is simply the best explanation for them of why you are communicating that kind of vibe.
It certainly possible to meet girls there, but it requires you to approach girls witch is hard and outside your comfort zone.

Thanks mate, now I can see where you're coming from.. I'll keep a look out for salsa dancing. Can now understand this is a place to pick up the skills and stretch your comfort zone in a safe environment...

I didn't say any girls said "if you were 5 years older" to me, that was Chrisrushtons friend who got told that, haha, but that's OK. I write a lot, can understand if not everybody catches every detail.

Anyway, I think fundamentally, I want to be enjoying my life in the now, which means finding more activities which are enjoyable, and hopefully meet women at the same time..

also, I think (as mentioned in another threat about morality) you get exactly what you give, and so I really want to be in a place where i believe I have a lot to give in a relationship, and enjoying life, is the best way to do this, I guess...

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Coffeesmurf

I've danced salsa for a couple of seasons - and not only is it a great way to interact with women.. it's damn fun! As mentioned, there's usually more women than men at the classes.. I've seen girls start loud arguments over whose turn it was to dance with a man

I don't know about your town, but here's there's a couple of places/bars that feature "drop-in" salsa, where you just show up, get about an hours worth of beginners dancing lessons and can then dance with the girls who showed up.. it's usually very relaxed, fun and without too much pressure. Plus, everybody is new at it, so it doesn't matter if you suck at first. I've shown up at some of these after getting training and it usually impresses the beginner girls quite a bit - dirty trick, I know

A couple of months ago, I decided it was boring mountainbiking alone and searched for training partners at a website. A week later, I did the first ride with four people, including two very sweet (single) girls. We all got along perfectly and now I've gained four good friends. I just went to the cinema with one of the girls yesterday and we're going road biking together soon. So trying out some kind of group sport might be an idea..

I love sports and fitness so I'll keep in mind the group sports bit

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Brutha

When I started with Salsa I felt the same way about it.

It teaches you comfortable interaction with the opposite sex while having body contact which is proabably an area where you have little experience.
Building skills is about showing up and moving outside your comfort zone. There's no faster way to learn.

And if you aren't comforable with touching the opposite sex while being on a date that's a problem for you.
Woman tell you "if you were 5 years older" when you communicate a vibe of having little experience around woman.
They fact that you are two young is simply the best explanation for them of why you are communicating that kind of vibe.
It certainly possible to meet girls there, but it requires you to approach girls witch is hard and outside your comfort zone.

Hey Brutha, if you don't mind me asking, before you took up salsa dancing, how were you with women? comfortable getting dates? couldn't talk to them to save yourself? or already a ladies man?

[vMike]

I have the same problem, most of my activities: sport, poker, business etc. don't help much in meeting, or interacting with attractive women.

So I was thinking of getting some more social hobbies. The only thing that comes to mind is some sort of dancing, but it scares me a bit. I suck at dancing and I don't have much experience with women
Either way any other ideas except dancing?

[brendannz]

vMike;

this is the list we have gathered from this thread;

music shows, Various New Age groups like Yoga or Tai Chi groups. Salsa dancing classes, or any kind of dancing classes. Book stores, college campuses. Up the trees they hide in Pilates, interior design, arts and crafts, speed dating, online dating, and mountainbiking or group sports with an online buddy.

As well as these places, we've also gathered that you need to come out of your comfort zone a bit to meet them..

[Beuford]

I don't know if it has been suggested yet, as I haven't read through all the posts, but shopping malls are a great place. Many women enjoy casual shopping.

[Coffeesmurf]

I can recommend online dating as well.

I've done online dating in the past but with little results. I think that was mainly because of a combination of being too passive and scared of contacting women. Also, I think I had a "scarcity mentality" when it came to dating and when I finally met a woman IRL, I really really really didn't want to screw it up. I've done a lot of work on changing my mindset and have come closer to realizing there's litterally thousands of women out there, so if it doesn't work out with one, there's always another.

Not too long ago, I've started online dating again and have now got a well-written profile with current photos and the results are good, so far. I'm going on a mountainbike-date with one woman tomorrow (not the one from the mountainbike group I mentioned earlier), I've got a blind date tuesday and I just started talking to another girl online as well. Went on a first date with a really cute woman a couple of weeks ago, which didn't go further than that, unfortunately.

But it seems like a great way to meet women, especially if you're a bit nervous about approaching women in everyday situations. This way you get to know each other a bit before meeting.. just don't spend months writing together and getting your hopes up to an unrealistic level

[Brutha]

Hey Brutha, if you don't mind me asking, before you took up salsa dancing, how were you with women? comfortable getting dates? couldn't talk to them to save yourself? or already a ladies man?

I wasn't good.
The above rational is part of the reason I picked up Salsa after a meeting with a girl during with I realised that I can't comfortable built body contact.

I suck at dancing and I don't have much experience with women

You do it for a year and afterwards you don't suck anymore (probably earlier in the case of dancing).
That how building skills work.
You suck and public speaking and go to a toastmasters club and sooner or later you don't suck anymore.

There that Woody Alan quote: 90% of success is just showing up.

Now you could go the Pua road and do random approaches to girls on the street each day.
That isn't something that I'm comfortable enough to do to be able to establish is as a pattern for my life.

The only thing that comes to mind is some sort of dancing, but it scares me a bit.

That's exactly the reason why you should do it. Face your fears.

[AffirmationMan]

Read "Mode One", by Alan Roger Currie.
It is a superb book about being honest and forthright with the opposite sex about your desires as a man, and avoiding landing in the "let's just be friends" trap that guys who cover up or disguise their attraction for girls often wind up in.

[songwriter]

Hello Brendan. Well some months ago I almost didn't have any comunication with women (except the ones at work). But I had no idea of how to meet some out of that place.
And now I feel I can have a conversation of hours with some woman I've just met or slightly met the week before or so.

My little advice
1 You happy or not doesn't mind for this. I'm been happier that now many times but never met so many women. It's the same old trap, it's not you're (or me) not attractive, it's just you don't have the particular skill.

2 There are singles communities everywhere. People that don't know each other but go together to places. They know about the meeting through internet, but once they know about it they get TOGETHER and start talking really, so there you'll meet some women, whether you like them or not...
They're not dating sites. The meetings are lots of people that go to the same place.

3 Reality is that the place is everywhere. And actually discos and such use to be the worse place. Think of any place where you could see a woman and start talking with her (supermarket, train station, library, concert, etc. virtually anywhere).
This seemed as impossible to me some months ago, so I only did #2. Now I can approach some woman on a train (for instance), start talking for some minutes to the point of asking her out.
It sounds weird but it can go from zero to date in minutes.

The hardest thing for me is to find a excuse to start a conversation with a woman (anywhere...) but once it starts I'm enjoying the moment.

Well, you already know it... I still haven't had an official date with any of these... but well, I can't complain... I often spend time with women, we talk, we laugh, we have deep conversations... it's nice and easy really.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by AffirmationMan

Read "Mode One", by Alan Roger Currie.
It is a superb book about being honest and forthright with the opposite sex about your desires as a man, and avoiding landing in the "let's just be friends" trap that guys who cover up or disguise their attraction for girls often wind up in.

Thanks, I'll keep a look out for that one..

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by songwriter

Hello Brendan. Well some months ago I almost didn't have any comunication with women (except the ones at work). But I had no idea of how to meet some out of that place.
And now I feel I can have a conversation of hours with some woman I've just met or slightly met the week before or so.

My little advice
1 You happy or not doesn't mind for this. I'm been happier that now many times but never met so many women. It's the same old trap, it's not you're (or me) not attractive, it's just you don't have the particular skill.

2 There are singles communities everywhere. People that don't know each other but go together to places. They know about the meeting through internet, but once they know about it they get TOGETHER and start talking really, so there you'll meet some women, whether you like them or not...
They're not dating sites. The meetings are lots of people that go to the same place.

3 Reality is that the place is everywhere. And actually discos and such use to be the worse place. Think of any place where you could see a woman and start talking with her (supermarket, train station, library, concert, etc. virtually anywhere).
This seemed as impossible to me some months ago, so I only did #2. Now I can approach some woman on a train (for instance), start talking for some minutes to the point of asking her out.
It sounds weird but it can go from zero to date in minutes.

The hardest thing for me is to find a excuse to start a conversation with a woman (anywhere...) but once it starts I'm enjoying the moment.

Well, you already know it... I still haven't had an official date with any of these... but well, I can't complain... I often spend time with women, we talk, we laugh, we have deep conversations... it's nice and easy really.

Hey there songwriter, yep, they're only humans, and they speak english like we do, so there shouldn't be any problem communciating with them..

I disagree, being happy is attractive.. Seriously if you had a choice between an unbelievably happy girl or a really miserable girl, which would you choose?

I just find that girls respond well to being smiled at.. and I do this naturally when happy..

Good points actually, comes back to what I said about there being more women than men in the world, so they're everywhere..

Yeah, well I think I've been on one formal date in my life a few months ago, but really I've metup with girls to hang out with before, it's just I didn't really think of them as dates and I thought of this one as a "date" because I'd already held hands and kissed so it qualified as a date, because clearly that's what I was aiming to from it..

Anyway, all I can say about "going on a date" is don't formalise it to even call it a date, because that will make you serious and boring.. it makes sense doesn't it? Would you rather meet up to hang out, talk and have fun? or meet up for a job interview?

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Hey there songwriter, yep, they're only humans, and they speak english like we do, so there shouldn't be any problem communciating with them..

I disagree, being happy is attractive.. Seriously if you had a choice between an unbelievably happy girl or a really miserable girl, which would you choose?

I just find that girls respond well to being smiled at.. and I do this naturally when happy..

Good points actually, comes back to what I said about there being more women than men in the world, so they're everywhere..

Yeah, well I think I've been on one formal date in my life a few months ago, but really I've metup with girls to hang out with before, it's just I didn't really think of them as dates and I thought of this one as a "date" because I'd already held hands and kissed so it qualified as a date, because clearly that's what I was aiming to from it..

Anyway, all I can say about "going on a date" is don't formalise it to even call it a date, because that will make you serious and boring.. it makes sense doesn't it? Would you rather meet up to hang out, talk and have fun? or meet up for a job interview?

well, what I tried to say is that's is not about "raising your attractiveness", so being happy or not doesn't matter much... it's just a skill and it's not related to any trait of you....
but anyway I guess this is different for everyone... well, a "date" is not anything that turns on my imagination either...
I remember one advice of someone here, he said he quit asking for dates...
and I'll probably do the same, sometimes you're having a good time and then you ask her out and it spoils everything...

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by songwriter

well, what I tried to say is that's is not about "raising your attractiveness", so being happy or not doesn't matter much... it's just a skill and it's not related to any trait of you....
but anyway I guess this is different for everyone... well, a "date" is not anything that turns on my imagination either...
I remember one advice of someone here, he said he quit asking for dates...
and I'll probably do the same, sometimes you're having a good time and then you ask her out and it spoils everything...

Well I suppose everybody experiences happiness and unhappiness as humans. So that in itself isn't really such an unusually attractive trait I guess..

I suppose what I was saying is to try and be enjoying your life, so that someone else would want to enjoy your life with you, (and vice versa)

hmm.. yeah, I don't really know if I'm in the position to give anyone advice about dating, since I started this thread, haha

[Coffeesmurf]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Anyway, all I can say about "going on a date" is don't formalise it to even call it a date, because that will make you serious and boring.. it makes sense doesn't it? Would you rather meet up to hang out, talk and have fun? or meet up for a job interview?

I agree - I also think "coffee dates" can quickly become very formal and rather boring.

I met up with the mountainbiking girl I mentioned earlier two days ago for a ride in the forest combined with a walk along the beach and ended the evening with a sandwich on a secluded roof terrasse on a skyscraper in the middle of the city with a view of the ocean. We both had a great time and it gives you something to talk about.

Next week we're going to play miniature golf and eat lots and lots of ice cream

But then again - I hooked up with my ex after a very long coffee date with about 6 hours of talking followed by dinner at my place a couple of weeks later, followed by a trip to the museum and then dinner at my place again.. all very datesy. So I'm not saying that can't work out. I think the main thing is just trying to have fun throughout and attempt to be in the moment and not worrying too much about outcome. Which might be easier said than done