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| Social & Relationships Social skills, friends, dating, sex, seduction, monogamy, polyamory, marriage, alternative relationships, soul mates, parenting, children, family life, education |
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07-29-2009, 11:20 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3
 |  How Relationships Work - For Beginners!
Hi all I have an interesting situation which I can't really work out how to proceed with. So I have decided to ask other peoples what they would do in my situation. Here's my problem: I like one of my friends more than a friend. Simple enough, right? But it has been made somewhat more complex by the fact that we're both female. And if that weren't enough to horribly confuse me, I suffer from an extreme case of social phobia; which makes it very difficult to conduct a flowing conversation, let alone ask personal questions. So, what would you peoples do? P.S. Most three year olds have a better understanding of how relationships work than me, so you may have to spell it out!  |
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07-29-2009, 04:51 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Bielefeld, Germany
Posts: 180
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My first answer would be to be as straight as possible and just tell her, and she will react: "I want you to know that you're more than a friend to me. How do you feel about it?" Hey, if you'd really be that socially fearful, you'd have no friends (I know what I'm talking about!). The best and probably most helpful advice that I can give you is to express yourself and your feelings as open and honestly as you can. If you're affraid to tell her what you feel for her, tell her that. If you're affraid that she will laugh at you of never speak a word to you again, say that. Just be honest about your feelings, but be straight and don't speak endlessly without coming to the point of saying her what you feel for her! I'm so proud of you to be honest to yourself about your feelings, and I'm sending you the energy and love you need to master that situation! Face your fears, and you will see them magically disappear! Love Tobias |
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07-29-2009, 05:26 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Southwest desert
Posts: 469
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[QUOTE] Quote:
When my lesbian friend asked me, she just said, "I really like you, have you ever thought about being with a woman?" I was flattered, said no, not for me, and the friendship was fine. Since you are friends already, it shouldn't hurt your relationship. Also realize this will bring you out of the closet and open up new possibilities for you. No matter the outcome you should feel better about yourself by stating who you are. It will all be ok!  | |
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07-31-2009, 10:35 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Colorado Springs
Posts: 211
| love yourself first...
Great advice in this thread. I would only add that the more you deeply respect and accept yourself... The more you will project that comfort and acceptance into any interaction. Not easy, I admit, but well worth striving towards. Keep smiling, Ben |
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