Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

iceredperson · 07-29-2009, 04:51 AM

I don't have that many friends but I do have this friend whom I am quite close to. A few days ago she told me that she is going to move to another state in two weeks. She also said that she is having a sort-of going-away party next week to which I am invited. I'm taking the news a lot harder than I should. I haven't been able to speak to her since I head the news. I'm not mad at her, but something makes me not want to have anything to do with her anymore. I feel like it would be immature to not go to her party, but I also fear that if I go I'll be too sad and will not be pleasant to be around. Which is the lesser of the two evils?

Abitofzen · 07-29-2009, 05:33 AM

My wife has a friend that used to live here (Colorado), but now lives quite a ways away in Oregon... and they talk on the phone constantly... constantly!

She thought it was going to be horrible, but they are still very much in touch, and they have a great time together when they visit.

My point?

It sometimes hurts when a friend moves away, but it hurts much more to lose a friend...

So go to the party. Tell her you're sad she's leaving... do your best to smile, have a blast, and send her off laughing.

Stay in touch.

Visit when you can.

keep smiling,

Ben

MmeIntentional · 07-29-2009, 10:16 AM

I know how you feel. Many years a go I decided to move to another country but my best and only good friend was not happy about it nor was her bf. We kept in contact for some time but we just drifted apart because she couldn't be bothered to put the effort in the friendship. This was really one sided as I was the one who was doing all the contacted etc.

Anyways if I were you, I would go to the party and tell her how you feel before. I am sure she feels sad too.

Also these days you can use skype with webcam to keep intouch. So whay not look into that too.

I would be a good idea for you to make some new friends too. It's not always easy though.

Good luck and let us know how the party goes if you choose to go.

Roxon · 07-29-2009, 06:33 PM

I would suggest you go to the party and decide to try make it a special memory to cherish.

Recently i lost my best friend and it really helped me to keep reminding myself not to be sad because it's over, but to be happy because the friendship happened.

Technology gives you many ways to stay in contact with her and you could even try plan a future visit before she leaves.

Its hard to let go of a close friend but try see this as one door closing as another door opens for you.

Best wishes

iceredperson · 07-30-2009, 02:24 AM

So, I talked to her today and I realized that she is just as sad about her moving as I am. Knowing that makes me feel better if that makes any sense. For some reason that fact didn't click before now. I'm still going to miss her a lot but it doesn't seem as big of a deal as it did before. I think I'll be fine with going to her party now.
Thanks for your help.

07-29-2009, 04:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
iceredperson Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 9	My friend is moving away. I don't have that many friends but I do have this friend whom I am quite close to. A few days ago she told me that she is going to move to another state in two weeks. She also said that she is having a sort-of going-away party next week to which I am invited. I'm taking the news a lot harder than I should. I haven't been able to speak to her since I head the news. I'm not mad at her, but something makes me not want to have anything to do with her anymore. I feel like it would be immature to not go to her party, but I also fear that if I go I'll be too sad and will not be pleasant to be around. Which is the lesser of the two evils?

07-29-2009, 05:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
Abitofzen Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Colorado Springs Posts: 211	Friends My wife has a friend that used to live here (Colorado), but now lives quite a ways away in Oregon... and they talk on the phone constantly... constantly! She thought it was going to be horrible, but they are still very much in touch, and they have a great time together when they visit. My point? It sometimes hurts when a friend moves away, but it hurts much more to lose a friend... So go to the party. Tell her you're sad she's leaving... do your best to smile, have a blast, and send her off laughing. Stay in touch. Visit when you can. keep smiling, Ben

07-29-2009, 06:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
Roxon Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 77	I would suggest you go to the party and decide to try make it a special memory to cherish. Recently i lost my best friend and it really helped me to keep reminding myself not to be sad because it's over, but to be happy because the friendship happened. Technology gives you many ways to stay in contact with her and you could even try plan a future visit before she leaves. Its hard to let go of a close friend but try see this as one door closing as another door opens for you. Best wishes Last edited by Roxon; 07-29-2009 at 08:40 PM.

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07-29-2009, 10:16 AM	#3 (permalink)
MmeIntentional Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 220	I know how you feel. Many years a go I decided to move to another country but my best and only good friend was not happy about it nor was her bf. We kept in contact for some time but we just drifted apart because she couldn't be bothered to put the effort in the friendship. This was really one sided as I was the one who was doing all the contacted etc. Anyways if I were you, I would go to the party and tell her how you feel before. I am sure she feels sad too. Also these days you can use skype with webcam to keep intouch. So whay not look into that too. I would be a good idea for you to make some new friends too. It's not always easy though. Good luck and let us know how the party goes if you choose to go.

07-30-2009, 02:24 AM	#5 (permalink)
iceredperson Junior Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 9	So, I talked to her today and I realized that she is just as sad about her moving as I am. Knowing that makes me feel better if that makes any sense. For some reason that fact didn't click before now. I'm still going to miss her a lot but it doesn't seem as big of a deal as it did before. I think I'll be fine with going to her party now. Thanks for your help.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums