Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Kean · 07-28-2009, 07:40 PM

OK, every time I travel to the anglosaxon world (UK, USA) people tell me I shouldn't mind their business. Both as a psychology student and as a human being, I have a natural curiosity towards understanding different people and different things.

Is it wrong to be curious?

What do you think?

intj123 · 07-28-2009, 07:53 PM

As long as you don't be creepy and start stalking people. Do you have a friendly attitude?

spirit4711 · 07-28-2009, 08:22 PM

The point is not so much that you mind their business, but how you do. The way you do it seems to create resistance. Otherwise they would react differently, no?

So what is it in your behaviour that generates these responses?

James81 · 07-28-2009, 09:50 PM

It's one thing to show a genuine interest in another person. That's normal and healthy behavior.

It's something different to try and tell people what to do all the time (when they don't ask for your help) or ask extremely personal questions that make people uncomfortable.

CoolBee · 07-28-2009, 10:24 PM

Yes, its how much you inquire and if you try to tell them what to do.

I call a friend of mine "The Spanish Inquisitor" because whenever I mention someone or other I was talking to she asks me loads of questions about them - are they married, have they got kids, where do they live, what job they do, etc etc which have nothing whatsoever to do with the topic in hand and it may be the first time I met them!

I prefer people to get to feel comfortable with me first without bombarding them with personal questions.

Even in my line of work, I have occasionally worked with a client without knowing what gender they are - its not relevant and if they don't want me to know, they don't have to (obviously that's when we're using IM not voice methods!)

this is fun · 07-28-2009, 11:55 PM

If you want people to respect and show understanding for your curiosity, you should also respect and show understanding if they don't want to talk about something.

Gabo · 07-29-2009, 12:57 AM

It isn't so much the minding that people detest, it is the meddling.

KazeCraven · 07-29-2009, 01:51 AM

What kind of questions are you asking? Asking about how people behave may make them feel like lab rats, and most people don't want to be probed by a foreign psychologist.

07-28-2009, 07:40 PM	#1 (permalink)
Kean Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 59	Why is it wrong to mind other peoples' "business"? OK, every time I travel to the anglosaxon world (UK, USA) people tell me I shouldn't mind their business. Both as a psychology student and as a human being, I have a natural curiosity towards understanding different people and different things. Is it wrong to be curious? What do you think?

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07-28-2009, 07:53 PM	#2 (permalink)
intj123 Banned Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 159	As long as you don't be creepy and start stalking people. Do you have a friendly attitude?

07-28-2009, 08:22 PM	#3 (permalink)
spirit4711 Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Nong Seng Posts: 3,975	The point is not so much that you mind their business, but how you do. The way you do it seems to create resistance. Otherwise they would react differently, no? So what is it in your behaviour that generates these responses?

07-28-2009, 09:50 PM	#4 (permalink)
James81 Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 12,690	It's one thing to show a genuine interest in another person. That's normal and healthy behavior. It's something different to try and tell people what to do all the time (when they don't ask for your help) or ask extremely personal questions that make people uncomfortable.

07-28-2009, 10:24 PM	#5 (permalink)
CoolBee Family Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 2,044	Yes, its how much you inquire and if you try to tell them what to do. I call a friend of mine "The Spanish Inquisitor" because whenever I mention someone or other I was talking to she asks me loads of questions about them - are they married, have they got kids, where do they live, what job they do, etc etc which have nothing whatsoever to do with the topic in hand and it may be the first time I met them! I prefer people to get to feel comfortable with me first without bombarding them with personal questions. Even in my line of work, I have occasionally worked with a client without knowing what gender they are - its not relevant and if they don't want me to know, they don't have to (obviously that's when we're using IM not voice methods!)

07-28-2009, 11:55 PM	#6 (permalink)
this is fun Family Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,022	If you want people to respect and show understanding for your curiosity, you should also respect and show understanding if they don't want to talk about something.

07-29-2009, 12:57 AM	#7 (permalink)
Gabo Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 490	It isn't so much the minding that people detest, it is the meddling.

07-29-2009, 01:51 AM	#8 (permalink)
KazeCraven Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Birmingham, AL Posts: 282	What kind of questions are you asking? Asking about how people behave may make them feel like lab rats, and most people don't want to be probed by a foreign psychologist.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums