What makes a real man?

[Muzzinho]

Hello everyone.

Since we're living in modern times and I guess our ideas of what a 'real' man has changed from time time, I was wondering what this forum's readers ideas of a 'real' man is?

What characteristics, particularly would they have?

Thank you

[marinik]

Integrity for one thing! Personal strength, sense of humor. They have to have the boy, the man and a bit of women in them to be complete. Just as women needs to be a girl a woman and a bit of man to be a real woman.

[Daffy Duck]

Authenticity, integrity, honor, and courage to do what they want in life.

[Dreamline]

True sense of joy, integrity, good values but not necessarily religious values, good work ethic, honesty, optimism, confidence....

Those are my favorite things. I also like men that are masculine. I'm not really attracted to men that are overly sensitive and I disagree that that is a pre-requisite to modern life. I just think men, in general, need to lose some of that war-like nature that has poisoned the modern world and is a total throwback to an era long gone. But decreasing overt aggression doesn't necessarily mean there has to be an increase in pansy-assed, Kleenex plucking, cloying sensitivity.

Jennifer

[JMan]

Love for his wife, direction for his family, the ability to resolve conflict, patience, a sense of humor, consistency, confidence, clarity, be a couselor, a coach, a praiser of good things, discipline, faith, integrity, a strong hand, a light touch, communication, trust, loyalty, supportive, listener, honesty.

[marinik]

Originally Posted by JMan

Love for his wife, direction for his family, the ability to resolve conflict, patience, a sense of humor, consistency, confidence, clarity, be a couselor, a coach, a praiser of good things, discipline, faith, integrity, a strong hand, a light touch, communication, trust, loyalty, supportive, listener, honesty.

This is a description of a husband not a man!

[Ecce Homo]

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

I was wondering what this forum's readers ideas of a 'real' man is?

Interesting question Muzzinho. I'd also add this question: What is a 'fake' man and who gets to decide and why?

Originally Posted by marinik

Integrity for one thing! Personal strength, sense of humor. They have to have the boy, the man and a bit of women in them to be complete. Just as women needs to be a girl a woman and a bit of man to be a real woman.

I really like this answer Marinik!

[James81]

As much as I hate when people make character traits all with the same letter so it makes for a nice little "talking point," I'll throw these out simply because they fit so well with what I think makes a good man:

1. Confidence....this involves knowing what you want and who you are, loving yourself, and not being afraid to assert yourself to get the things you want, without having to turn into a complete ******* to do it.

2. Character...meaning, you have interests, hobbies, opinions and you don't bend them for anybody. And on the flip side, you have certain areas that you CAN bend so that you aren't completely impossible to deal with. Essentially, it's a code that you follow that is consistent, but not completely unwavering. You have things that you stand for no matter what, and other things that you can let slide given the situation.

3. Charisma....instead of tearing everyone around you down to lift yourself up, instead, you are the type of person who lifts yourself up anybody and strives to bring those around you UP to your level. You realize that you are a great place to be, and, as such, you want to bring the people around you into your world so that they can experience all the great things you have to offer. You're fun and playful, yet know when to be serious and go after the things you want. You aren't pushed around easily, but you are compassionate.

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by JMan

Love for his wife, direction for his family, the ability to resolve conflict, patience, a sense of humor, consistency, confidence, clarity, be a couselor, a coach, a praiser of good things, discipline, faith, integrity, a strong hand, a light touch, communication, trust, loyalty, supportive, listener, honesty.

This is a description of a good husband and a good man.

[drakecatz]

Originally Posted by Dreamline

True sense of joy, integrity, good values but not necessarily religious values, good work ethic, honesty, optimism, confidence....

Those are my favorite things. I also like men that are masculine. I'm not really attracted to men that are overly sensitive and I disagree that that is a pre-requisite to modern life. I just think men, in general, need to lose some of that war-like nature that has poisoned the modern world and is a total throwback to an era long gone. But decreasing overt aggression doesn't necessarily mean there has to be an increase in pansy-assed, Kleenex plucking, cloying sensitivity.

Jennifer

Great post! I agree. No pansy-asses here, thank you.

[Grindin]

A man is the tower the stands in the midst of lifes hurricanes.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by marinik

Integrity for one thing! Personal strength, sense of humor. They have to have the boy, the man and a bit of women in them to be complete. Just as women needs to be a girl a woman and a bit of man to be a real woman.

interesting spin.. need child, your own gender and the opposite gender inside you. .that's a bit different to what other people have said..

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Grindin

A man is the tower the stands in the midst of lifes hurricanes.

But Bob Dylan says that the answer is blowing in the wind

[brendannz]

I think there's some good answers here, but I think it's a very subjective thing.

1/ taking responsibility for what happens
2/ honesty and giving your best to life
3/ able to provide value and service for others
4/ able to have fun and be light hearted, and enjoy the moment

that's just a few points I can think of.. I'm really not a boy, not yet a man

[marinik]

Originally Posted by brendannz

I'm really not a boy, not yet a man

You said it!!! Not I.

Some of the qualities listed in this thread were considered feminine till a few years back. This is what I am referring to when I say a woman in a man! And "vice versa" when some masculine traits are considered in a woman!

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by marinik

You said it!!! Not I.

Some of the qualities listed in this thread were considered feminine till a few years back. This is what I am referring to when I say a woman in a man! And "vice versa" when some masculine traits are considered in a woman!

just displaying my sense of humour, to be a real man.. I've got to become a man, and a boy, and a woman though to be complete, really, at the moment I'm none of the above.. lol

[songwriter]

ok, so I'm into the "real man" cattegory, cause I have those qualities.
I'm not rich, for instance and I may lack many things some could desire but I have those...

and it makes me wonder why people like me or some friends I know that are quite similar aren't as successful with women as the "other men"...

I'm like that, and I wouldn't want to be another way, but, hey, it's not what most women want at all, at least here at my location, so it's quite a ticket to loneliness.

I think my location should be Steve Pavlina Forum City but it doesn't exist.

[HCG]

What characteristics, particularly would they have?

A real man has a penis and some balls.

[Grindin]

But Bob Dylan says that the answer is blowing in the wind

Well, if I'm right, what does that make Bob Dylan?

[funchy]

I think what separates the boys from the men is personal responsibility, ability to think longer-term, ability to see beyond them self (no longer the center of the universe), compassion, and self respect.

What I like in a man is all that plus honesty, integrity, a willingness to try new things, a love for life, optimism, sense of humor, and bit of intelligence.

The men I have a hard time respecting are the cavemen, irrational religious extremists, the cold-hearted, or those who enjoy being negative.

[marinik]

Originally Posted by HCG

A real man has a penis and some balls.

Many morons have the same parts

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by funchy

I think what separates the boys from the men is personal responsibility, ability to think longer-term, ability to see beyond them self (no longer the center of the universe), compassion, and self respect.

What I like in a man is all that plus honesty, integrity, a willingness to try new things, a love for life, optimism, sense of humor, and bit of intelligence.

The men I have a hard time respecting are the cavemen, irrational religious extremists, the cold-hearted, or those who enjoy being negative.

I think this is the best post so far!

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by marinik

Many morons have the same parts

transvestites have the same parts and they certainly aren't real men

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by Grindin

Well, if I'm right, what does that make Bob Dylan?

good point, I guess your answer is better than Bobs

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by songwriter

ok, so I'm into the "real man" cattegory, cause I have those qualities.
I'm not rich, for instance and I may lack many things some could desire but I have those...

and it makes me wonder why people like me or some friends I know that are quite similar aren't as successful with women as the "other men"...

I'm like that, and I wouldn't want to be another way, but, hey, it's not what most women want at all, at least here at my location, so it's quite a ticket to loneliness.

I think my location should be Steve Pavlina Forum City but it doesn't exist.

Your problem might be 1/ you just haven't found the right one.. or 2/ you see it that the universe revolves around you..

My problem has been shyness + no. 2/ I think, but I've only recently become aware, so have time to work on that one..

[songwriter]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Your problem might be 1/ you just haven't found the right one.. or 2/ you see it that the universe revolves around you..

My problem has been shyness + no. 2/ I think, but I've only recently become aware, so have time to work on that one..

I don't know, the cause remain unknown in me and others, the only thing in common is the kind of men they are, just the kind of men with more troubles to find a love relationship.

I'm been where you are. Sometimes you think "the problem is X" but it's not X or nothing particular... it's just you and me the whole. The only "solution" I think of is keep on trying and keep on trying and keep on trying, there's nothing to fix really...

Once I thought I was shy, but hey, I've noticed I'm not shy at all, maybe it's the same for you...

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by songwriter

I don't know, the cause remain unknown in me and others, the only thing in common is the kind of men they are, just the kind of men with more troubles to find a love relationship.

I'm been where you are. Sometimes you think "the problem is X" but it's not X or nothing particular... it's just you and me the whole. The only "solution" I think of is keep on trying and keep on trying and keep on trying, there's nothing to fix really...

Once I thought I was shy, but hey, I've noticed I'm not shy at all, maybe it's the same for you...

Yeah, maybe everyones got problems and got strengths so it's never something you can diagnose.. I agree about the persistance thing.

[jdiemz]

Originally Posted by Muzzinho

Hello everyone.

Since we're living in modern times and I guess our ideas of what a 'real' man has changed from time time, I was wondering what this forum's readers ideas of a 'real' man is?

What characteristics, particularly would they have?

Thank you

This is something that I've actually started to ponder a few weeks ago... so my definition is a work in progress. But what I've come up with so far is: a man is defined by his will, and his life is shaped by the power of that will.

[Plays With Life]

Man is -

King - ability to lead. Provider. Commands respect.

Warrior - ability to protect, himself and others. Strength.

Magician - knowledge of and control over the world. Mystery and mastery.

Lover - tenderness and passion in intimate relationships. Romantic.

---

I like these four archetypes as a model for being "manly". I think they apply today, though perhaps expressed in new / more modern ways. For example:

King - top executive. Bread-winner. Makes money decisions for the family.

Warrior - calls 911 when a burglar shows up. JK I'd say the Warrior portion of masculinity suffers some neglect in modern times.

Magician - handyman. Fixes everything that breaks. Knowledge of plumbing, construction, and auto mechanics. Also electronics.

Lover - a night at a nice restaurant. Cruises and lavish vacations. Nice clothes and jewelry. Open adoration of his woman in public.

[marinik]

Originally Posted by Plays With Life

Man is -

King - ability to lead. Provider. Commands respect.

Warrior - ability to protect, himself and others. Strength.

Magician - knowledge of and control over the world. Mystery and mastery.

Lover - tenderness and passion in intimate relationships. Romantic.

---

I like these four archetypes as a model for being "manly". I think they apply today, though perhaps expressed in new / more modern ways. For example:

King - top executive. Bread-winner. Makes money decisions for the family.

Warrior - calls 911 when a burglar shows up. JK I'd say the Warrior portion of masculinity suffers some neglect in modern times.

Magician - handyman. Fixes everything that breaks. Knowledge of plumbing, construction, and auto mechanics. Also electronics.

Lover - a night at a nice restaurant. Cruises and lavish vacations. Nice clothes and jewelry. Open adoration of his woman in public.

DeAngelo's stuff????