how do you know if the right person has come along?

[merveilles]

Is it possible to realize you're with the wrong person because the right person for you has walked into your life? If you cheat on the wrong person, are you likely to cheat again, or was it more just a one time thing?
Sorry if these questions are vague.. your replies will probably help me find what I'm trying to ask..

also, why are we drawn to specific people in the first place? what does it mean when both people happen to be drawn to each other without even knowing?

[aggie]

you don't know...

if you are involved and feel with the wrong person you need to be honest so they can decide if the want to be with someone besides a person who thinks they are wrong and thinks they have met the right person and thinking of cheating.

end one and move on to whomever you may think is the right person.

the monkey bit hanging on to one branch before letting go of the other is not cool.

[pyrogen]

You do NOT know if someone is the "right person" except in retrospect. None of this "you just know" BS. Everyone who says "they just knew" is saying this after the relationship already hatched.

Say it too soon, and you break the flow of the relationship with trying to race ahead too fast. I learned this the hard way. I lost something potentially really beautiful because of my expectations. Word to the wise.

[garentee]

The person you are with now is the right person for now. Things may change and you may be with someone else who is right for that point in time... I can say with utmost certainty that the people that I have been with that I am all finished with are not right for me now.. as I have grown...

[marinik]

There are people who "just know" and then there the others who need a nudge to be sure. And not in retrospect. The ones that just know act upon the feeling and pursue the relationship until it happens.

Cheating is cheating. If you are in a relationship with someone (no matter how right or wrong they are for you in the given space and time) and he/she is believing it is a monogamous relationship and you committed to it... But there are reasons that can be understood and those who cheat out of sport.

Will you cheat again.. who knows.

I am in a very similar situation. What will I do. Haven't got clue. We have to figure it all out for ourselves unfortunately.

[merveilles]

I'm not actually in a relationship right now.. These are just things I've been thinking while dating a lot of different people. There are a couple of them I've just fallen for right away.. but in different ways. Like there's one I like mostly mentally (he's just an obviously wonderful person), one I've been drawn to since we met, then another one I'm drawn to emotionally, but mentally he's not even my type so I'm confused.. I'm wondering if you can tell a person is more right for you by the way you're attracted to them?



I disagree about not knowing.. I had a dream about my last boyfriend before we even met, then when we actually met I just instantly knew it was him.

Originally Posted by pyrogen

Say it too soon, and you break the flow of the relationship with trying to race ahead too fast. I learned this the hard way. I lost something potentially really beautiful because of my expectations. Word to the wise.

This is good advice.. Sometimes I'm too serious before it's even serious..

[pyrogen]

Originally Posted by merveilles

I disagree about not knowing.. I had a dream about my last boyfriend before we even met, then when we actually met I just instantly knew it was him.

This is good advice.. Sometimes I'm too serious before it's even serious..

Yes. I "knew" with the last one. I also sent him packing with this same "knowing". I'm still really, really smarting. I know that I manifested this situation (yes, it was intentional - right down to the tiniest detail, and can even tell you what conscious creation process I used the night before he showed up in my inbox), and I may have manifested it at a deeper karmic level so that I could learn about this issue and master it, but it doesn't mean I am not still REALLY REALLY SMARTING over it. I feel like he was rare, we matched up in ways that I've never EVER matched up with someone, and I wish the lesson could have come from a different person. But if it had been over more common currency, would I have "gotten" it? I don't know. But I also have to believe that love isn't scarce and that just one of him proves there's another person out there I'm compatible with (he has no trouble meeting intellectual, artistic women for example; whereas partners who can string two words together, have been really rare for me, I haven't manifested this experience before him). Very tough to believe. Very, very tough.

But I've done better with the ones where I didn't "know". The best successes were the ones where I wasn't trying to make anything happen because I didn't like them That Much. Ironically. Now, that was also the relationship's undoing, but I didn't send the person screaming into the night.

[rocksupreme]

I think there was a Van Halen song about this exact question...

Actually, I wrote a blog post about it once. You may find it interesting.
When It’s Love | Andy Fossett

[Dreamline]

Lust can be very deceiving. Ego can be very deceiving. Be careful that you are not being deceived.

There are two separate issues: whether you can just tell that someone is right for you, so soon. Cheating is the other issue.

Cheating is bad. For you and for her. Be a real man and don't do it.

Now if the person who just walked into your life and you felt they are "the one" (like a movie, so dramatic ) just remember, there will always be someone "righter," more beautiful, more attentive, more exciting, more sexy.....on and on, until the day you die. Do you want to be a slave to that kind of thinking?

Jennifer

[songwriter]

"The right person" doesn't exist. Is like dividing the world into billions or "wrongs" and a "right" one. Kind of hollywood movie or an ancient fairy tale, happy ever after kind. But it's like this, every one has it's good and it's bad, and some are more similar to you than others. But everyone that looks for perfection is doomed to fail, you know.

[merveilles]

Originally Posted by Dreamline

Lust can be very deceiving. Ego can be very deceiving. Be careful that you are not being deceived.

There are two separate issues: whether you can just tell that someone is right for you, so soon. Cheating is the other issue.

Cheating is bad. For you and for her. Be a real man and don't do it.

Now if the person who just walked into your life and you felt they are "the one" (like a movie, so dramatic ) just remember, there will always be someone "righter," more beautiful, more attentive, more exciting, more sexy.....on and on, until the day you die. Do you want to be a slave to that kind of thinking?

Jennifer

I would appreciate it if you read the other posts if you're going to reply.. I don't really like being called a man, or being told not to cheat when I'm single.. and I also kind of explained the different ways I'm drawn to a few different people. With certain people I just feel an instant connection and I'm wondering if that means anything.. I don't know if it's just me having a bad day but I feel kind of insulted by your reply..

[Dreamline]

Originally Posted by merveilles

I would appreciate it if you read the other posts if you're going to reply.. I don't really like being called a man, or being told not to cheat when I'm single.. and I also kind of explained the different ways I'm drawn to a few different people. With certain people I just feel an instant connection and I'm wondering if that means anything.. I don't know if it's just me having a bad day but I feel kind of insulted by your reply..

If you don't identify yourself as a woman or bother to sign your name which is clearly female, then my personal default is to assume you are a man. I don't read other people's posts before making my own. It biases my comments which I prefer to be clean.

Jennifer <---- clearly a female

[merveilles]

Originally Posted by Dreamline

If you don't identify yourself as a woman or bother to sign your name which is clearly female, then my personal default is to assume you are a man. I don't read other people's posts before making my own. It biases my comments which I prefer to be clean.

Jennifer <---- clearly a female

but then your post might not even be helpful anymore.. I feel like the conversation has changed since the first post, and besides that I've posted again, adding more information about the situation I'm in..