How old were you when you got married?

[Librose]

How old were you when you got married? Is there a certain age where your mature enough to be with someone?

[aggie]

i was 28 the first time and 48 the second time

imo men shouldn't even think about marriage until the are about 35

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by aggie

i was 28 the first time and 48 the second time

imo men shouldn't even think about marriage until the are about 35

I think as a 27 year old man-child that 35 is a better age to get married than my current age, but the only thing is that when you have kids, you might be old when they get old..

[aggie]

yeah, that is the down side...i have known people who married and had children very young and "grew" with their children and had the energy to enjoy them more...some people mature earlier too...another topic...but i guess some men and women shouldn't think about having children before a certain age either...i know i never had them because i am still learning how to take care of myself

[Lyric]

18. Wayyyyyy to young, IMHO. We're still married and relatively happy together though, so I guess it's worked out.

[ns123]

I think age itself doesn't really matter, unless you're like, 15 or something, then that's just way too young.

Maturity has a more to do with it. I got married at a relatively young age (22) but I had graduated college, had a professional job lined up, and so did my fiance (now husband). But I know plenty of guys (and gals) in their 30's right now that are "too young" to get married mainly because they are not mature enough (not out of parents home, no career direction, not independent).

I think an ideal time to get married is if you have:

1. found someone who will be a great partner
2. have chosen to commit to creating a life with each other (and work things out)
3. are both independent adults (or well on your way to becoming independent)

#3 I really mean that you can support yourself financially (out of mom and dad's house) or you're on an already established detailed plan. I still lived with my parents right before I got married, but I was graduating that semester and I already had a job offer and an apartment lease signed. So after I got married, I did not live with mom & dad.

That said, if anyone personally did not get married under these conditions, that doesn't mean their marriage didn't work, or that they did anything wrong. I'm just saying, these (minimal) conditions set you up for success.

[SomeRandomGuy]

I was 18 when I got married, my wife was 19. It has worked out really well for us, we are very happy. I would not suggest anyone else get married as such a young age, however. We have both changed a great deal since we were married, fortunately we changed in the same says. I think that at 18 most people are only starting to figure out who they are, and develop their values and priorities. It is very had to choose someone at such a young age who will share your values and priorities 10, 20 or 50 years later.

[James81]

Got married at 20. Had a son when I was 22. Had a daughter when I was 24. Got divorced at 25.

I'm 27 (almost 28) now.

If I had it to do over? Yeah, I'd do it all again. I've learned so much from the experience, even though the act of getting married itself was, what I consider to be, a mistake.

[SJD715]

I honestly think that age may not matter as long as you have experienced enough in life and met alot of people. You should be emotionally stable and independent. If you plan on traveling Id do so before marriage or even getting into a real relationship. I guess I feel that way because I have seen it so much in the military, young Marines getting married or falling fast for a new person, most of the time its just new and exciting and they have no patience to wait and see if it is really a true thing they have between them. ( not sure if that makes sense)

I'd say if you are with someone and you are under 25, then wait. I have a life experience, long story short I just turned 25 and I was divorced at 23. Was married for 4 years total.

I could help more in this but Id be writing a book.

[siryessir08]

I'm not married yet, but I am engaged. I'm 22.

I really don't think age is an issue...people mature at different rates, and many stall out after reaching a level.

I guess we'll see how things play out, but my fiance and I complement each other perfectly, and we are both fully committed to personal growth and our growth when together is exponential. If our marriage ends in divorce, it certainly won't be a failure. It would simply be a decision based on our lives taking different directions, and our goals being irreconcilable. I'm certain we'll always love each other in one form or another.

[James81]

Originally Posted by siryessir08

I really don't think age is an issue...

Most "young" (I put that in quotes because I'm still young myself lol) people say this.

And 50% of the time they are wrong. At least according to divorce statistics which really only tell us half the story anyway...I'm sure it's much worse (for example, people who are miserably married but stay together and never get a divorce).

As a 20-22 year old, you don't think what I'm about to tell you is true, but I can garauntee you that it is.

There is a HUGE difference between being 20-22 and being 25-30 years old. It's hard for you to imagine that 3 years can make all that much of a difference, but it does.

That's why I always say wait until you're at least 25 to get married. The way I see it, if you're getting married, your relationship is going to last forever anyway, so what's the rush? What difference does it make to get married at 22 rather than 25?

(only difference I can see is when you're talking about being hardcore into church and the religious scene...they make a very clear distinction there...but other than that...)

[always loved]

I was 18 when I married the first time. perhaps to young to make the relationship last forever but then perhaps it was never supposed to last. I had our daughter at 19 and divorced at 21. I could not have asked for better in a child or in the timing! I would do it all over again to for her even if there had not been any learning experiences involved. Which we all know there always are.
He and I learned what we were supposed to learn from eachother and with eachother in a short time and are happy parents and friends to this day.

[Holistic Star]

I was 30 and my H 32. I still thought I was too young then!

I certainly would have been even 5 years earlier.

[Dreamline]

First time was 25, second time was 37.

I have always been mature for my age, even as a child but I consider the maturity process "ongoing." Certainly one doesn't get to a point where you are now "mature" and then it just stops.

Had I known what I now know about relationships during my first one, I may not have gotten divorced at all. However, I don't think I would have been as happy as I now am with husband #2. Husband #1 was just not a naturally joyous person and I would have resented that.

Jennifer

[ChaosKiwi]

My friend got married 2 years ago at age 22! Personally I can't see myself getting married till at least 28 but you never know. I think I comes down to personal maturity and the right person really.

I remember at the ceremony, the pastor started talking about how he got married young and was still working on getting a degree from university and relying on his wife for income etc in an attempt to show how much more mature my friends are at that age. Little did he know that they were in the exact same boat! Luckily it was the only snare at a fantastic ceremony.

[akoma]

Originally Posted by James81

Got married at 20. Had a son when I was 22. Had a daughter when I was 24. Got divorced at 25.

I'm 27 (almost 28) now.

If I had it to do over? Yeah, I'd do it all again. I've learned so much from the experience, even though the act of getting married itself was, what I consider to be, a mistake.

Sweet deal

[siryessir08]

Originally Posted by James81

There is a HUGE difference between being 20-22 and being 25-30 years old. It's hard for you to imagine that 3 years can make all that much of a difference, but it does.

I'm sure there's a huge difference. I imagine I'll have changed substantially by the time I'm in my late 20s. And so will my fiance.

I don't see why that should change our marriage plans though. I think we will both be better served changing together rather than apart. It's nice to have a partner to face challenges with. It's nice to have someone to keep me in check.

I'm not sure why it's necessarily bad to get married young...even if it ends in divorce. You said yourself that you weren't ready to get married, but you would redo it if you had the choice. Your marriage wasn't a waste, you learned things from it that you wouldn't have otherwise, and you're grateful for those experiences.

Maybe I'm alone here, but I really don't think that marriage has to be permanent to be meaningful and produce extremely valuable experiences, and I don't think divorce is a failure.