Do Real Men Pee Sitting Down? (adult)

[Interpreneur]

I love my girlfriend. I have changed a lot of things in my life in order to make our life as a couple better. I have made many sacrifices, including not farting in front of her because she thinks it's disgusting.

But now she's asking me to do something that feels extremely weird. She wants me to pee sitting down.

She claims that regardless of how careful I am about aiming correctly, my urine still splashes around the toilet and the floor, creating an unsanitary environment in our bathroom.

Her little niece and nephew spend a lot of time in our home, so she's asking me to do it "for their health and wellbeing". I am all for protecting everyone's health and wellbeing, but to pee sitting down feels very feminine (read: gay) to me.

A quick Google search revealed that some men do it for health reasons, but I like to stand tall and proud when I whiz. And I would be willing to give this a try for a day or two, but I would hate to become "that guy who pees sitting down".

Any thoughts?

[brendannz]

I have a hard time believing what I'm reading.. Seriously if you need to then say you pee sitting down... but do what you want to do it's your life..

Make sure you don't pee sitting down in the middle of the night when you wake up with an erection though.

[freddy]

I wouldn't do it. Time to pull out your man card. Set down the law an be ready to walk. IMO. You could offer to help keep the bathroom clean.

[Angela]

There is nothing inherently feminine about peeing sitting down, and it won't make you gay.

It doesn't sound very manly to me, on the other hand, to allow your mate to manage your personal body functions for you. It would make a lot more sense to me if she simply asked you to tidy up the bathroom after you used it, rather than ordering you to pee in a certain way. But she's a bit of a micromanager, isn't she?

Sitting down won't solve your problem, but standing up for yourself might.

[Annemarie]

Originally Posted by Angela

Sitting down won't solve your problem, but standing up for yourself might.

Haha, well said!

Well, it's certainly something I've never heard before and it made me smile a bit, to be sincere. I suppose it's entirely your choice if you accept to change the position or not, ahem, and I'm pretty sure real men are not decided on a basis like this. But maybe you want to think the problem deeper than stains and keeping the toilet seat clean. Sounds to me like the issue goes deeper here. But it's none of my business and I will not go further into this.

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by Interpreneur

...
Her little niece and nephew spend a lot of time in our home, so she's asking me to do it "for their health and wellbeing". I am all for protecting everyone's health and wellbeing, but to pee sitting down feels very feminine (read: gay) to me.
...

Silly argument. Urine may smell, but it is not bad for anyone's health.

Any thoughts?

Yep. You're being a doormat, and she is bossing you. Consciously, or not. But if it makes both of you happy, just continue.

Oh, and peeing sitting down is not feminine / gay. A silly notion, at best.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by brendannz

Make sure you don't pee sitting down in the middle of the night when you wake up with an erection though.

Haha, peeing with an erection is a disaster. Even if you do the ski jump position.

[Foggy]

I am personally considering switching to peeing sitting down all the time because (maybe it's because I'm uncircumcised) I can never predict what direction and at what velocity it will come out at and I make messes sometimes. I don't know if this is you, but it could be that there's a legitimate reason for your girlfriends request.

That said, as others are suggesting, it sounds like there might be a bigger issue at play here.

[Plato]

Right, I've just tried it.

I felt like a fool. Then I looked around to check nobody has seen me or something. Intolerable for any man. You can use this case study as evidence with your girlfriend Interpreneur. If she doesn't believe you, tell her to speak to me. I'll vouch for it!

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by Plato

Haha, peeing with an erection is a disaster. Even if you do the ski jump position.

LOL, post of the week right here. Interpreneur, ask her if she'd be willing to give you a hand aiming.

If anything splashes out of the toilet due to your jet stream, just take some toilet paper and do a quick swipe around the rim or floor. Wash your hands and you're done!

God gave us the ability to pee standing up. In exchange, God gave women the ability to have better orgasms. Don't let her take away your God given gift! This is all we have!!

[spirit4711]

Women can pee standing up too. Let her teach you how to do it the right way .

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

LOL, post of the week right here.

Wow, I didn't expect this. I'd just like to thank my manager, all the crew, my family who supported me all the way, and God. Bless you all.

God gave us the ability to pee standing up. In exchange, God gave women the ability to have better orgasms. Don't let her take away your God given gift! This is all we have!!

Exactly. And these damn females can't get enough sex. No appreciation for how tired we are.

[Holistic Star]

I've known men who pee sitting down. Doesn't make me think of them as any less of a man. Certainly didn't make them gay!

Is your g/f a clean freak in the rest of the house, or just the bathroom?

If you have carpet in your bathroom, I agree that it is unhygienic to have wee fermenting in it. Even those shaped mats you put round the toilet to protect the carpet get manky quite quickly!

So rip the carpet out, replace with tiles or lino, then you can splash around to your hearts content as you can wipe up easily!

[frajilthunder]

I just tried sitting down to pee too. Now I have this strange urge to watch Denzel Washington movies. I am afraid I have caught the gay.

Don't do it.

Pee standing up and fart all you like and if your girl can't handle it, I'm sure she can find the door by herself.

She's lucky I'm not her boyfriend. Then she'd be all posting on here saying: "Help! I told my boyfriend to pee sitting down, and he farted in my face! I don't want to leave him but I don't think I can take it!"

[openeyes]

I'd either learn to clean up after myself (as others said, it's rather simple) or entice my girlfriend to get a heated toilet seat and bidet (World's Best Toilet Seat and Electronic Bidet). Then I might actually prefer sitting down

[aggie]

oh, good lord, it is a wonder some of you can keep a gf

no big offense guys, but i never thought man hood was judged by the ability to pee standing up...i have known some men who pee sitting down and do every else with it just fine...apparently they didn't like the mess either (or were just too tired to stand at night)

if you want to stand, please by all means stand proud... just aim and clean up if you miss...that is all i would ask

i have often stated the only penis envy that i ever had was that you guys could pee pretty much anywhere you liked

[Indiana]

It would seem that asking you to clean up would be easier than asking you to pee sitting down, but if you've been splashing it about and leaving the mess for someone else to deal with for a while, perhaps your girlfriend figured that cleaning up is not one of your strong points!

Make it clear to her you don't like sitting down, and prefer the cleaning up option. Leave a spray bottle of cleaner next to the toilet and just spray and wipe after you shake and tuck.

If you've got carpet that's getting stained, however, you might be on the losing end of the sitting-down argument. That IS a health hazard.

[Andrew Brunelle]

Peeing sitting down is a little effeminate, but what you do in that bathroom only you know about. Every now and then I'll take a seat to take a whiz, but it's not something that I would do regularly because of my previous habit of going standing up. As long as you're hitting the bowl and not spilling urine all over the bathroom, stand up. Or if you do make a mess, clean it up.

[Xanafax]

Good god man.

Grow a pair of testicles, stand up to your girlfriend and tell her she can't run your whole life.

[Daffy Duck]

I thought about this a little more and came to the most obvious and logical conclusion.

Your wife is the one peeing everywhere. She's trying to shift the blame onto you. She's probably doing this as a defense mechanism from something terrible that happened in her past. I think she may have had trouble learning to pronounce the letter "P" in her childhood, and has thus developed a complex about it. Ask her to take some personal responsibility.

[Dreamline]

Control-freak-o-rama alert!! RUN, RUN, RUN!!!

She must be hot.

Jennifer

[spirit4711]

This is the funniest topic I've read in a long time - almost wet my pants

[Plato]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

almost wet my pants

Good thing you didn't. We'd have to take away your current peeing privileges.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

I thought about this a little more and came to the most obvious and logical conclusion.

Your wife is the one peeing everywhere.

I agree my learn-ed friend. The lady is clearly guilty, and it is put forth that she should be use her pee to clean up the graffiti in the city, thereby reframing her peeing into a positive thing.

[brendannz]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

This is the funniest topic I've read in a long time - almost wet my pants

You weren't standing up when you wet your pants were you?

[MidasGirl]

LMAO@ this thread.


Priceless

Just tell her you'll clean and wipe after you pee, really that is just common courtesy to others using the bathroom. The problem isn't that you pee standing, the problem is that the bathroom is unclean. So solve the real problem. Also, I don't think there's a problem in actually sitting, but that someone is telling you what position to take when doing a private thing behind closed doors.

[akoma]

You need to man up to your girl. There is nothing wrong with sitting down and peeing every now and then but it is a trouble when your girl begins to demand you sit and pee. There were occasions where I forgot to even "pull the toilet seat down" and my ex always complained. In fact, there was an occasion when she fell in the toilet at night as I forgot to pull the seat down.

Tell you can teach her how to pee standing up and after few trials, she may never want to sit to pee again.

[aelle]

This thread is absolutely hilarious.

My boyfriend pees sitting down. He is very tall with super long legs, and from such a height pee will splash around and bounce back to him. And what's more manly than a big tall guy? Therefore, real men do pee sitting down

Seriously, how you pee doesn't matter, but how clean you leave the bathroom does. Just clean up after yourself, it's only polite.

[silicon toad2000]

I sit down when I pee for a few reasons.
1- I can't be bothered standing there for that long (drink lots of water, big bladder)
2- if the mrs thinks I'm sitting for a reason she'll be too afraid to come into the bathroom and ask me questions or tell me about her day
3- as per point 2, she won't expect me to be finished any time soon.
4- too many times i've stood there just to think "while im here..."

[Daddymike]

How do I put this in a way that will not offend?

I can't and I don't care.

Men do not squat when they pee. Period. Stand at the toilet with pride. You are not a woman.