Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

loveandfear · 07-05-2009, 07:13 PM

Hi, im a 22 year old young man basically starting out on a journey of personal development, im hugely interested in exploring my life and supporting others explore theres and to learn and grow together, but how do i find like minded people, because i really get the sense in my own community of friends that this way of thinking and being is altogether alien and i think if i were to talk to them about issues such as this they may just be like, chill out, or even a little surprised and definitly scared...people are scared about talking about anything serious or anything that is REAL.

I genuinly love analysing my own thougts and the thoughts of others and exploring things like that, but how do i go about finding people with similar patterns of thinking....

i think ultimately im probably looking for some easy fix, like suddenly ill be surrounded by all these cool friends who want to talk about their lives and issues....and who dont mind a serious conversation as well as a laugh...

ahh...its tough...

anyway would be good to hear what people think..

much love,

loveandfear

ns123 · 07-06-2009, 06:43 PM

You can join toastmasters. That's a great group of people who are very personal development oriented. There are also book clubs you can join, or you can volunteer at your college in some sort of cause.

About connecting in a very personal way:

For many people, it takes a long time to do this - years of building trust and mutual honesty and sharing of stories, secrets, dreams. So if you are wanting to find a close connection type of friendship, a great way to succeed is prepare for long term investment in building that kind of friendship. And prepare on being fearless yourself - freely sharing who you are, stark honesty.

Most people would not do this with some one they just met. It takes time to build this kind of relationship.

Good luck.

jorgeblanco · 07-07-2009, 03:24 AM

I find myself in a similar situation (I'm 22 as well). It seems that there is not that many people who have broken free from the social conditioning of the instant gratification consumerism society. It's difficult to find non-average people in the usual venues. You definitely need to go outside your comfort zone for this one.

I usually hangout with people older than me for this very reason. It takes a few bumps in the head in the school of life to awaken most people. As a general rule, the younger someone is, the less time she has spent thinking about her life in the grand scheme of things.

Finding people my age that are interested in these topics is a rare occasion.

Deergirl · 07-07-2009, 08:43 AM

Just a thought, but, this is a forum filled with people who are interested in the same thing you are interested in and there's probably one or two members living close to you. Why not arrange a meeting? You can make new friends this way, friends that are interested in the same subject.

I got lucky when it comes to finding like-minded people. My boyfriend turned out to be someone who likes to analyze thoughts, discuss current events, share stories,... not only in the girlfriend-boyfriend way, but also in the self development way. He kind of was the trigger to get me thinking as well and starting to look into self development and self experimentation. It's nice to have someone you can say to: "Steve Pavlina wrote about subject x, he's says this and this, that's interesting, maybe I should try something alike," and than you can have a conversation about it.

MmeIntentional · 07-07-2009, 02:33 PM

Why not start your own group on meetup.com? You can start off with just meeting once a month until it builds up.

Also i would do as Deergirl mentioned. Just start contacting people you like on this site. You can always do a search on Skype for like minded people also, that you can talk to using webcam and headset if they live too far.

loveandfear · 07-27-2009, 11:37 AM

Thanks people, I'll check out that website at meetup.com and ill take a look at setting up some sort of group, i think that could be a good idea, if anyone is in the London, UK, get in touch!

loveandfear x

aelle · 07-27-2009, 11:45 AM

Meeting new people who are further along the path you want to take is great. But also, talk to your friends. You might be surprised. And there is also great value in walking a road together - everybody has a different approach, a different way of grasping things, a different thought path... You probably still have something to learn from your friends. If they are true friends, don't be so quick at declaring you have outgrown your relationship.

07-05-2009, 07:13 PM	#1 (permalink)
loveandfear Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 21	How to find more like-minded people, people interested in PD issues... Hi, im a 22 year old young man basically starting out on a journey of personal development, im hugely interested in exploring my life and supporting others explore theres and to learn and grow together, but how do i find like minded people, because i really get the sense in my own community of friends that this way of thinking and being is altogether alien and i think if i were to talk to them about issues such as this they may just be like, chill out, or even a little surprised and definitly scared...people are scared about talking about anything serious or anything that is REAL. I genuinly love analysing my own thougts and the thoughts of others and exploring things like that, but how do i go about finding people with similar patterns of thinking.... i think ultimately im probably looking for some easy fix, like suddenly ill be surrounded by all these cool friends who want to talk about their lives and issues....and who dont mind a serious conversation as well as a laugh... ahh...its tough... anyway would be good to hear what people think.. much love, loveandfear

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07-06-2009, 06:43 PM	#2 (permalink)
ns123 Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 658	You can join toastmasters. That's a great group of people who are very personal development oriented. There are also book clubs you can join, or you can volunteer at your college in some sort of cause. About connecting in a very personal way: For many people, it takes a long time to do this - years of building trust and mutual honesty and sharing of stories, secrets, dreams. So if you are wanting to find a close connection type of friendship, a great way to succeed is prepare for long term investment in building that kind of friendship. And prepare on being fearless yourself - freely sharing who you are, stark honesty. Most people would not do this with some one they just met. It takes time to build this kind of relationship. Good luck.

07-07-2009, 03:24 AM	#3 (permalink)
jorgeblanco Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Japan Posts: 19	I find myself in a similar situation (I'm 22 as well). It seems that there is not that many people who have broken free from the social conditioning of the instant gratification consumerism society. It's difficult to find non-average people in the usual venues. You definitely need to go outside your comfort zone for this one. I usually hangout with people older than me for this very reason. It takes a few bumps in the head in the school of life to awaken most people. As a general rule, the younger someone is, the less time she has spent thinking about her life in the grand scheme of things. Finding people my age that are interested in these topics is a rare occasion.

07-07-2009, 08:43 AM	#4 (permalink)
Deergirl Senior Member Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 108	Just a thought, but, this is a forum filled with people who are interested in the same thing you are interested in and there's probably one or two members living close to you. Why not arrange a meeting? You can make new friends this way, friends that are interested in the same subject. I got lucky when it comes to finding like-minded people. My boyfriend turned out to be someone who likes to analyze thoughts, discuss current events, share stories,... not only in the girlfriend-boyfriend way, but also in the self development way. He kind of was the trigger to get me thinking as well and starting to look into self development and self experimentation. It's nice to have someone you can say to: "Steve Pavlina wrote about subject x, he's says this and this, that's interesting, maybe I should try something alike," and than you can have a conversation about it.

07-07-2009, 02:33 PM	#5 (permalink)
MmeIntentional Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 220	Why not start your own group on meetup.com? You can start off with just meeting once a month until it builds up. Also i would do as Deergirl mentioned. Just start contacting people you like on this site. You can always do a search on Skype for like minded people also, that you can talk to using webcam and headset if they live too far.

07-27-2009, 11:37 AM	#6 (permalink)
loveandfear Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 21	Thanks people, I'll check out that website at meetup.com and ill take a look at setting up some sort of group, i think that could be a good idea, if anyone is in the London, UK, get in touch! loveandfear x

07-27-2009, 11:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
aelle Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: France - Japan - Korea Posts: 3,241	Meeting new people who are further along the path you want to take is great. But also, talk to your friends. You might be surprised. And there is also great value in walking a road together - everybody has a different approach, a different way of grasping things, a different thought path... You probably still have something to learn from your friends. If they are true friends, don't be so quick at declaring you have outgrown your relationship.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums