Sexual Mastery (No Minors Allowed!!!)

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by aggie

yeah, ever really watch porn...most of the time the woman are masturbating...their orgasms usually have nothing to do with their male partner....

Because most of it is made by men for men. To satisfy the male fantasy. It wouldn't hurt to give your guy that 'fantasy come true' every once in a while

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by aggie

darn, late again...back to porn...do men not realize that porn can make women a little nervous or insecure...even men's magazine...all the air brushed gloss....

I've learnt this by being with a very openly communicative guy. He'd say: "Most average guys too dumb to have this realization". Seriously, they don't realize it. To an average male, him admiring an airbrushed chick with abnormally perky double D's and a wasp-waist has nothing to do with you. So just relax and let him have his fantasies fulfilled. Why care? It's not like the picture is going to jump out of the magazine and have sex with him.

[aggie]

oh, i know, i just have this little porn debate in my head every once in a while...i'm getting a little bit better at not being threatened by it...i admit i am not always successful. and i guess i am a spontaneous loving person when it comes to sex...i can't get into too much planning...not that there is anything wrong with that...

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Daffy Duck

I've always found that experimenting and communicating with my lover has been more than enough.

Bingo. This is a sure fire way to get good fast.

You can also ask some of your guy friends who are good with women what they do. Lastly, you can watch some porn and see what they do.

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by TonyToneTone

Lastly, you can watch some porn and see what they do.

Do people actually think that porn actors (or more to the point, actresses) are actually enjoying themselves?

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Do people actually think that porn actors (or more to the point, actresses) are actually enjoying themselves?

Some do. They can show you a lot of techniques for getting your partner off.

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Do people actually think that porn actors (or more to the point, actresses) are actually enjoying themselves?

A lot of them do, actually. At least, that's what an acquaintance in the industry once told me.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Do people actually think that porn actors (or more to the point, actresses) are actually enjoying themselves?

I think some do and some don't. There was even a girl who posted here once that she acts in porn movies and she enjoys herself thoroughly. I believe her. Then there are those who say they want to puke after every act. I believe them too.

Originally Posted by Tone

Lastly, you can watch some porn and see what they do.

I think what he is suggesting is to watch and learn tactics. People who do this for a living may or may not be enjoying themselves, but for sure, they know what the heck they are doing because they are being directed by someone who (hopefully) has studied what works for the target audience and what doesn't. And those who don't enjoy watching porn certainly aren't the target audience.

[TonyToneTone]

That's exactly what I meant MG, thanks!

BTW, when you watch porn, you might find something you want your girl to do to you.

[aggie]

for sure....actually i have seen enough porn to know that i would rather do it than watch it

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

I think some do and some don't. There was even a girl who posted here once that she acts in porn movies and she enjoys herself thoroughly. I believe her. Then there are those who say they want to puke after every act. I believe them too.

This is possibly more dramatic than I was thinking. I wasn't angling towards the exploitation/not exploitation angle, more that in the porn I've watched, I've seen the actresses making their O-faces and thought, 'That's meant to have gotten them off? Yeah, right."

I don't mean they aren't enjoying themselves at all, or at least, not wanting to puke, but I find it hard to believe mainstream porn could be pitched as a how-to instructional on helping a woman climax.

[aggie]

it can't...women who can truly achieve orgasms from intercourse alone are fortunate and few...as is said women in porn are usaully getting off from masturbation....i am not trying to be crude...but it is all about for guys, i think something going into a hole...but that doesn't necessarily make it for the woman...it is all about imagery...how often do guys ejaculate inside a woman in porn...no you have to see it to prove it happened...on their stomach, on their face....you get the picture...and this is supposed to be the be all end all for the gal...

[Daffy Duck]

Originally Posted by aggie

women who can truly achieve orgasms from intercourse alone are fortunate and few

I've been with two so far. I guess I'm good at finding those rare ones.

[aggie]

you are all indeed fortunate to find each other...btw...separately or all together

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by Indiana

but I find it hard to believe mainstream porn could be pitched as a how-to instructional on helping a woman climax.

That, I totally agree with. With mainstream porn IMO meaning the regular male-geared porn. But there are a few women out there producing porn targeted toward women, which is way different than the 90+% of the porn out there. BTW, I'm not a fan of porn. But it's out there and can be used to learn.

[Plato]

Originally Posted by MidasGirl

That, I totally agree with. With mainstream porn IMO meaning the regular male-geared porn. But there are a few women out there producing porn targeted toward women, which is way different than the 90+% of the porn out there. BTW, I'm not a fan of porn for purposes other than educational.

Where is this? Could you link me?

I'm going to read some chick lit too.

PUKE!!!!

No I am. God help me.

I don't need to watch any more mainstream porn. I'm a child of the dot com age... Let's get real here.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by aggie

...and this is supposed to be the be all end all for the gal...

No it's not. It's supposed to be the be all end all for the guy. If women want porn that serves whatever it is the current kind doesn't, then they have to start producing it themselves.

[MidasGirl]

Originally Posted by Plato

Where is this? Could you link me?

Google

Search term: "get creative"



I have parental controls installed on my computer and I threw out the password, lol.

[Orecle]

I know alot of women that are turned on by explicit dirty novels. I do not know a man, that would choose a novel over a movie,...... porn that is

[RT Wolf]

You lot may be itnerested in the book Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Sex and Science.

Amazon.com: Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex: Mary Roach: Books

mary roach talks about why some women seem to be able to orgasm from intercourse and others can't.

[aggie]

hmmm....i would be curious about that...always got the impression that it was primarily our physiclal make up....nope, don't think guys would pick a novel...speaking of words...what about talking during sex...i just really can't seem to get into the nasty talk unless i'm spoken to first...i guess i am not only spontaneous but a woman of few words

[jfrancis]

Originally Posted by Plato

I've never bothered learning how to be a good lover. At least not consciously.

At the moment I'm just slapping around willy nilly, with no particular idea of whether it's good or not besides her reaction. As much fun as it is for me, I suspect I could give a lot more pleasure if I knew what I was doing.

Resources? Advice?

I would suggest reading Gina Ogden's Return of Desire to anyone wanting to have a deeper connection in a relationship with a woman.

Also, if you are in the mood for something light, you can try watching Ben& Sarah's video shorts on relationships. Incidentally, there is one on how to get your girlfriend to watch porn which contains some links to more female-oriented material (if you're into that kind of thing)

Good luck. Have fun!