Dealing with physical inadequacies in social situations.

[ProjectX]

There is one thing about my body that is really bordering me and has really affected my social life and made me shy.

I have a receding chin.

Sometimes I try to hide it but its really difficult for me to have conversations with other people because of it. It was caused as a result of having to breathe a lot through my mouth when sleeping as a young kid because of a deviated septum. I have thought a lot about getting it fixed but it can be costly thus the delay.

I just don't know what to do about it.

[nocturne]

if it is really that bad save your money and get it fixed.

but watch this video first:

YouTube - Sean Stephenson on CBS News

try to judge your self confidence about yourself based on who you are overall, not any one perceived negative feature.

I have another example: owen wilson. he is a funny looking guy with a crooked nose. What did that get him? a role in a movie with jackie chan which made him millions. He wouldn't get that role with a serious looking face would he?

Or how about the guy that plays harry potter? He is a short guy. Think about it. The fact that he is short made him a good candidate to play harry potter, and for him to play a character much younger than he is. Is it really a curse, or a gift?

Bruce lee was apparently born with one testicle and one of his legs are an inch longer than another. He only measured 5'7.5, so he's not short but h'es not tall either. He was Asian in a time when they thought america was not READY for an asian star. Now he's a legend.

What is YOUR potential overall as a human being? let your receding chin be your inspiration - that you could succeed greatly and be confident, IN SPITE OF IT or even make it an advantage. ask yourself, how could you make your chin an advantage?

[LearningToDanceAgain]

Hello there,
I am a 27 year old woman, 5'6", 115 lbs, curly red hair. Sounds like I could be attractive.
I use a wheelchair for mobility.
Yes, people stare.
Yes, people talk about it and ask about it.
I steer the conversation away from my physical ailments, towards more interesting things. They soon find that I have a personality beyond my lower half. I've been told that people can see my inner fire from across a room.

I have more confidence in myself now than I did when I was completely able bodied. Not because I look better, but because I look worse, and have discovered that it is true, looks don't matter too much.

Yes, people will look twice at the girl wearing hardly anything that has the perfect body.
Yes, men will want to sleep with her.
If she doesn't have brains and a personality, that's all they'll do.
I'm assuming you're a woman, because if you are a man I'd just say grow a goatee.
As a woman myself, I've learned that the guys that are younger than 23 (aprox) will put a lot of importance on looks, whereas a guy with a little experience under his belt will look for something that will keep him entertained for more than a half hour at a time.

[Andy4]

Interesting post,

And 2 really good replies, everyone dislikes something about themselves. I personally would prefer to have a physical rather than an emotional dislike about myself but hey, that's me.

LTDA thinks you are a woman and thinking about it you probably are but my immediate thought was that you were a man, it's supposed to be men that are square jawed after all, as Nocturne says, turn it into a pluspoint.

Dont let this ruin you're life concentrate on all your good points. everyone thinks their bad points are far worse than they actually are.

My next point may come as a shock, we all believe we are in the spotlight but in reality no-one really takes much interest in others good or bad points.

You sound like a decent person, concentrate on really enjoying your life, Including all those people who love you.

take care, andy.

[Parthon]

Andy said it right. People are too busy caring about their own chins to worry about yours at all.

A receding chin isn't anything much though, it's just the way you look. If someone is overly concerned by it, let them be. What you will find is that noone really cares, at least nowhere near as much as you will.

It's not your chin that's the problem anyways. You say your chin made you shy, I believe your shyness makes your chin. Your chin becomes an issue that your shyness can use.

I'm guessing what you really want is a way to overcome your own fears around your chin and to overcome your own shyness. The two ways are through self-acceptance and courage.

[Andy4]

Nice one, Parthon.

Just praised/discoversd your site on Stumbleupon. Please do the same for me I so need the traffic!

project x

Try practicing praising yourself at every opportunity, for example you've got guts to come on this forum, I am aware you are a senior member, and say what you said I'm guessing you are quite pretty/handsome but hey that's just my oppinion.

Take care.

Andy.

[Martyn13]

Hi
Russ Conway is a good example.
He had a missing finger - A pianist with a missing finger!
Isn't that ridiculous?
You would have thought he would choose another profession -
But no -
He concentrated on what he could do, whilst minimising his inadequacies.
Because it is not as easy to play chords with a missing finger, instead, he concentrated on developing a unique fast style - With the accent on speed, the need for hard chords was minimised.
It is ironic that, if he had not had a missing finger, he would probably have never developed his unique style, and become a famous pianist.

It seems that his supposed inadequacy actually stimulated him to compensate by developing his unique style.

I think that we all have our weak and strong points, and if we choose to develop our strong sides, then our inadequacies become irelevant.

it is as if our inadequacies are a sort of a test, to see if we have the guts to succeed!!

[Indiana]

Why do you think that a specific aspect of your appearance is going to be so important to others?

Do you find that you think less of people because of their physical features? Would you reject someone or find them less interesting if they had, for example, a small forehead, or big ears, or a receding hairline, or thin lips?

If not, why do you worry that others will do it to you?

This may be more about your own prejudices than other people's.

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

There is one thing about my body that is really bordering me and has really affected my social life and made me shy.

I have a receding chin.

Sometimes I try to hide it but its really difficult for me to have conversations with other people because of it. It was caused as a result of having to breathe a lot through my mouth when sleeping as a young kid because of a deviated septum. I have thought a lot about getting it fixed but it can be costly thus the delay.

I just don't know what to do about it.

You basically have two choices: go through plastic surgery, or accept yourself and move on.

If you choose to accept yourself, you'll realize that you can live a perfectly normal life without bothering too much about your chin, or by your other physical imperfections - or by other people's imperfections, for that matter.

As Andy already pointed, people probably just don't take as much interest in your chin as you'd think they do. When you have thoughts about it, it's easy to project those thoughts onto everyone you meet, and imagine that they're thinking the same thing.

Have people noticed it? Yes, the probably have (if it's obvious). Do they care about it one tenth as much as you do? Probably not. And the less self-conscious about it you become, the less they'll probably notice it.

Most people are thinking about themselves almost all the time. While you stand there and worry about what someone else thinks about your chin, the guy next to you may be worrying what people think about his accent, the next girl you meet is quite possibly worried what you think about her "assets", and so forth.

It's human nature to be self-obsessed. When we become aware of this fact - and once we learn a little more about who we are, and accept ourselves for who we are - we can start to relax and direct our attention towards our surrounding environment.

I'm guessing that surgery is expensive, although that's always an option if you wanted to go down that road.

[Plato]

What an exciting challenge! Don't "fix" yourself - embrace it and turn it into a strength. Knowing how to do that is a far greater reward than any temporary material change.

Look at it this way: somebody had to have your body. The rest of them couldn't handle it, so you had to do it.

[ProjectX]

Thanks guys. I feel a lot better.

But If I had the money I would still have the genioplasty immediately. I feel as if its unnatural and could have been prevented. So I get really angry about it.

My other short term solution is to lose fat around the cheeks thus making the chin more prominent.

[Martyn13]

In my opinion, if you go ahead and have an operation now, when you are much older (assuming you're younger now!), you will look back and think how ridiculously vain you were!
That is because, life could be looked at as an obstacle race, and the problems that you encounter when you're older will put this into perspective.

The way life is designed, if you run away from one test, you will be given another, which will be slightly harder, until you don't run away from the tests!

Only them will you be able to move on

To move on, you must live in the present

That is what life is all about!

[ProjectX]

Originally Posted by Martyn13

In my opinion, if you go ahead and have an operation now, when you are much older (assuming you're younger now!), you will look back and think how ridiculously vain you were!
That is because, life could be looked at as an obstacle race, and the problems that you encounter when you're older will put this into perspective.

The way life is designed, if you run away from one test, you will be given another, which will be slightly harder, until you don't run away from the tests!

Only them will you be able to move on

To move on, you must live in the present

That is what life is all about!

I'm sorry but if you understood my situation and were in my shoes you would understand this does come from vanity.
If I had the money I would get surgery done regardless. I just need a way to deal with it now temporarily while I can't do anything about it.

[Martyn13]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

I'm sorry but if you understood my situation and were in my shoes you would understand this does come from vanity.
If I had the money I would get surgery done regardless. I just need a way to deal with it now temporarily while I can't do anything about it.

The 'hidden' wisdom within the word 'vanity' tells you that if you do something out of vanity, then you do it 'in vain' - it becomes a 'vain' attempt - to change things, in the long run.

In my opinion, this is one of those situations where gender makes a difference.
I am guessing that you are male, but I may be wrong.
If you are female, then I can understand your feelings a little better,
but if you are male, then you need to develop more inner strength, as you'll understand when you're older

[Parthon]

Originally Posted by ProjectX

I'm sorry but if you understood my situation and were in my shoes you would understand this does come from vanity.
If I had the money I would get surgery done regardless. I just need a way to deal with it now temporarily while I can't do anything about it.

I think you mean "doesn't come from vanity."

Is it something more serious than *just* a receding chin?

[MyEyeIsOpen]

Have you gotten a consultation? A chin implant shouldn't cost more like a couple grand, just save up for a little while and make it happen!