Betrayal

[Leaf]

I don't want to make a long-winded post, so I'll try to be succint.

Exactly a year ago (a year and a day ago) I started a relationship with a girl. She had betrayed her most-loved boyfriend (one of my best friends) and had "made-out" with a dozen of guys, or something like that, while she was the first girl I had even kissed.

That hurt me. We had different views on relationships, but I stick with it, and battled my way in it, always. We took a break 2 or 3 times, and we broke up once. She always come back to me, asking for forgiveness. I knew I was susceptible to being betrayed, sooner or later, but I trusted her enough that she would be honest about it when it happened.

I didn't like the person she was, but I loved her.

After we got back together again, we spent 3 great months. I thought "she changed." Then, one day, out of the blue, she starts talking to one of my best friends (whose parents ara going through a divorce). With the excuse of "supporting him" our relationship starts going downhill. I tried to understand her point of view, but I know her - there's something more. After being called egoist, after going through major discussions, I give up.

I go talk with the guy, I make ammends with him, and I think "I want to know who she really is". I don't think this shows a good character but I arrange with him to know everything she's up to.

On the surface, we are now behaving normally, me and her. But I know (because he tells me) that they've already kissed. I saw SMS conversations about kissing, making out and whatever (which happened while I was present) between one another. She says "Can't meet you, I have work to do" while I know she's meeting him.

I don't know what to do. I'm feeling used, betrayed, but I've always know what she was made of. Through all of our relationship, I've always felt more like her father than her boyfriend. The responsability to work things out, to understand and to support was always mine.

This isn't healthy. I know that. As I said, I hate what she's capable of, her character and attitude. But I love her. And, yes, I'd forgive her betrayal, I think.

I just... think I'm being weak.

[Excellent Lodestar]

Originally Posted by Leaf

I just... think I'm being weak.

...and that, along with showing jealousy,are repulsive traits to females.keep doing what you've been doing and your guaranteed to lose.
The PUA guys here can tell you how to "behave" to attract-- that's basic social psychology.

If you can, read "the way of the superior man" by David Dieda. It has short, succinct chapters that bring it home. To some it up in a phrase, you need to "get a life"--beyond her. the feminine doesen't want to be the center of your universe; they are attracted to masculine purpose,vision, and confidence

Good Luck

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by Leaf

I'm feeling used, betrayed, but I've always know what she was made of. Through all of our relationship, I've always felt more like her father than her boyfriend. The responsability to work things out, to understand and to support was always mine.

This isn't healthy. I know that. As I said, I hate what she's capable of, her character and attitude. But I love her. And, yes, I'd forgive her betrayal, I think.

You love her? Really? Why? Because she's such a fabulous person when she's not lying to you, cheating on you, emotionally leeching off you or blowing off your dates?

Dude, I don't really think you love her. You're obsessed with her, maybe, or you've convinced yourself that if you can change her then it's because you're worthy of her love. You're desperate for her attention, that's for sure.

But you shouldn't be. You seem like a good guy but she's treating you like cr@p. That's not your problem. It's hers. She just doesn't sound like a particularly pleasant character.

You deserve better. You've already been on and off several times. She's lying to your face right now. I wouldn't be surprised if she knows you know, and she's passive-aggressively trying to make you break up with her, so she doesn't have to feel bad about dumping you.

She's only your first girlfriend. Trust me, there are plenty, plenty more women out there who won't behave like this one. You owe it to yourself to expect more from a partner.

[daya]

dear friend
it sad with you
i had face such kind of betrayal too i my life.
i give you suggestion that be away from her and
make yourself a good carrer rather than to har
try friendship with other girls will help you forgetting her.

[James81]

You never should have gotten into a relationship with this woman in the first place. Always ALWAYS remember that a girl who has cheated in the past CAN (not necessarily "will" but CAN) do it again given the right circumstances. I won't say "once a cheater, always a cheater," but that's pretty damn close to the truth. But, that's water under the bridge. You can't change the fact that you got with a woman who doesn't have the ability to be faithful, but now you've learned a hard lesson and hopefully you won't do it again.

That being said, you already know what you need to do. You do. You just need encouragement to do it (and I think you knew what the replies to this thread were going to be when you made it). Come on man, take the step. Man up and put her out of your life. You don't deserve to get walked on like this.

[Leaf]

She did the deed. Betrayed me.

I broke it all off.

Thanks, guys. Thanks.