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05-13-2009, 02:59 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 1
 |  Confused - Eager to make GF's for pleasure
I am happily married in a way that I feel that the relationship is giving me most of the pleasures except what I think I need the most, getting it in bed! I have been wondering for quite sometime to look at a casual relationship outside my marriage to provide me the need that I feel I need... Interestingly this has been discussed mutually and the response I get from my partner is that it is OK to look at "other" options outside... Is it appropriate to sacrifice what I need and wait till that time, it is mutually acceptable to us or is it important that I need to look at my life, how I would like to live...  |
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05-13-2009, 03:56 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Slovenia, south central Europe
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05-14-2009, 10:16 PM
| #4 (permalink) | |
| Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Toronto, Canuckland
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05-15-2009, 07:13 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 4
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It's important to keep in mind that you're partner may not mean what they say. If you ask them flat out whether it's okay to go outside your marriage to fufill your needs, make sure that they just don't say that to please you because they love you. It could be killing them inside. |
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05-15-2009, 05:47 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 402
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if your partner is ok with it and the women you meet are ok with it and you're being truthful all around, then I don't see a problem. Just make sure that they are really ok (I have learned that just because someone says they are ok doesn't mean they really are ok with it. Of course it would be nice if people would say what they mean, but they don't. isn't it more interesting this way though  )To the second part of your question- I would recommend looking at how you want to live, what your goals are, what your values are, etc. regardless of what's going on in your relationships. IMO both of these things can happen at the same time- no need to wait for one to do the other. |
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05-15-2009, 08:12 PM
| #7 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009
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05-15-2009, 08:41 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Family Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: east coast, USA
Posts: 1,628
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Instead of looking to others to please you, can we try first to improve what you already have? I believe sex in a committed relationship shouldn't just be about the climax. It's an intimate, special, bonding moment. Could your problems with "sex" be a symptom of a bigger problem of no emotional connection in the relationship? What do you feel you're lacking with your sexual relationship with the wife? For example: Is it that she is not interested often? This could be a hormone or physical problem, and it doesn't mean she'll always be this way. She could talk to her doctor. Sometimes women have problems with sex because of past abuse (rape, incest, emotional abuse involving sex). Has she ever hinted something bad might've happened to her? Do you feel like you've got an open enough relationship that she'd tell you? If she can't tell you, can she be encouraged to talk to a therapist? Is it that she won't do anything you suggest? Is it a religious objection? Or is she feeling uncomfortable or scared of the new idea? Can a compromise be made? Is she open to watching adult videos, and if so, perhaps that might give her some ideas to try? The problem with always looking for better sex elsewhere is that you'll always be chasing woman, looking for better & better encounters. If you find one gives you mind-blowing sex, you may fall in love with her because of how she makes you feel. If you experience enough women, it's only a matter of time before you risk a STD or unwanted pregnancy. Condoms do break sometimes. If you're completely happy in the marriage, is it worth risking over more exciting sex? |
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