Perfect Parents?

[dreamtime07]

I perceive my parents to be perfect all the time and in just one wrongdoing that they may do, I will perceive it as they hate me and they don't love me. So, in retraction, I also do hate them the same way because they hated me which is not true. I know that they love me, but I can't get away with this mindset.

So, my question is, is it just me who think of my parents as perfect or we all share the same mindset that parents should or are perfect?

[runningbird]

In ways mine seem perfect. But then other times they seem a little like George's parents on Seinfeld. It's amazing as I get older how much I realize that I never viewed them as real people. But yeah, I definitely can catch shoot out some hateful vibes sometimes; knee-jerk reactions to little things.

[tintin]

im not really articulate about this subject but i know it well deep down.because i have struggled with it too.and gone through the whole gamut of 'separating' myself from this 'dominant-by default' relationship.

i think the moment you see your parents as individuals ,having their own goods and bads,just normal fallible people,struggling with their own hang ups, like others is the time you actually start growing up.
irrespective of your age.
for some people that never happens.they remain stuck with the provider-dependent equation till they die.with their parents firmly planted on pedestals along with other deities worthy of worship.

wanna test this?
what kind of a God do you believe in?
is he cruel?or forgiving?or indifferent?or all-love?all providing?rewarding?(this could be a long list)

now scrap out God and observe how you see your parents...





now scrap out the parents and observe how you see your relationships...












im happy for you dreamtime.because you have put your focus on a fundamental which defines you.


ps .these feelings of love-hate that you experience are resentments and grudges of a powerless person for the one who is powerful.

[newsbone]

You ARE not alone, Charles Darwin considered his parents to be animals.

[MyEyeIsOpen]

The above poster is correct I think: when we see our parents as humans who do human things, that's when we begin to grow up.

[aelle]

"The day the child realizes all adults are imperfect, they become an adolescent; the day they forgive them, they become an adult. The day they forgive themselves, they become wise."
(Alden Nowlan)

Most children do believe until some point that their parents are perfect and it is part of growing up to realise they are only human.
I do not think my parents are perfect anymore - I got violently pulled out of that belief very young, actually. I do realise that they mostly did what they believed to be best with the necessarily limited information, knowledge, perceptions, social conditioning they had at a given time. Mostly, they did good. I am very grateful for some aspects of my education and intend to reproduce part of it with my future children.

Word of advice: You will need to understand and deconstruct your education, even if it is to realise what was good about it and keep these good part, if you want to properly raise your own children. Try discussing these points of your education with your parents - possibly when you don't hate them for them anymore