Adult and Explicit - Is it possible for a women to physically rape a man (naturally)

[Orecle]

In the Uk, the tabloids are doing a piece on Male domestic violence.

Today, a man spoke about how his ex-wife (JAILED FOR 7 YEARS FOR THE ABUSE) use to batter him tilll he bled, ash out cigarettes on him, but he then goes on to say she would demand he gets aroused for sex in 5 mins or he would get more beatings. As a man, I do not know how it is possible to be severely bloodily beaten and then get aroused in 5 mins to perform for the same woman who scares you shitless (unless turned on in some way).

Can anyone shed light on this? Can man truely be forced to be aroused?

[cylon]

This is the type of thing that you hope to never know the answer to.

[aelle]

A woman can definitely rape a man. Rape is defined by non consensual intercourse, and the lack of consent can come through violence, menace, surprise (in someone's sleep...), deception (posing as someone else...), intoxication, being below age of consent...

Not being a man, I don't know how/if one would get an erection in the context you mention, but as far as I understand getting an erection is pretty disconnected from conscious thought and therefore possible to obtain without full consent.

The thing is, the patriarchal nature of our societies and the traditional gender roles make it very hard to believe - as highlighted by the fact that you had to ask the question. Per gender stereotypes, men are supposed to be in constant demand of sex, and happy for whatever they get. Women are supposed to have inferior drives and require extensive seducing to even consider sex. Men are supposed to be strong and domineering, women are supposed to be sweet and uninterested by power. The terrifying result is to see a man confess being a rape victim only to hear "you lucky dog", receive a pat on the back and provoke laughter. And it is quite possible that few of these rapes get reported, or that if they are, they are shrugged off, laughed off and receive less attention than they should. This is the kind of things feminists refer to when they say that patriarchy (gender roles/sexism) hurt men too.

[Orecle]

I understand what you are saying. You are right, as a man, sex can be disconnected from conscious thoght, but any man will tell you fear and erection do not mix

This post is not for shock value, i genuinely dont understand how he can be genuinely scared and aroused at the same time, and was wondering if more knowledgable men can shed light on it.

[cylon]

Good points aelle.

I imagine it's possible to take advantage of someone, no matter what the sex.

Let's just hope this is the type of thing you never know for sure.

[yossarian]

Originally Posted by Orecle

I understand what you are saying. You are right, as a man, sex can be disconnected from conscious thoght, but any man will tell you fear and erection do not mix

it's a conditioned response. I've heard of this before. Some men are conditioned to equate violence, anger, fighting, abuse, etc with sex, and so they actually get aroused when there is violence.

****ed up but it happens. The same thing occurs for pedophiles and sex criminals and other perversions. You can condition people - just like Pavlov's dog - to have a physiological response to anything over time. You could condition someone to be aroused by the phone ringing or by a code word, etc.

[Erin Pavlina]

We studied male rape in my sociology class once. Just as a woman who is being raped can have involuntary arousal (which usually shames her) we were told that if you work at it long enough you can bring a man to a physical state of arousal even when he'd rather not consciously become aroused, or even in a fear state.

Some women end up having orgasms during their rapes. Sometimes the body responds without volition.

[Neblasian]

Well a woman can use an object to commit buggery, but as far as vaginal intercourse is concerned; NO.



Best Regards,

Renee

[MillenniumMike]

I know a few guys who had it happen to them one was a friend of mine. It is sort of a grey area from what they told me, there was arousal but lots of alcohol was present and logic was thrown out the window. In my opinion the root is at intoxication.

[Blueskied]

Recent article about women sexually abusing children.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/8022861.stm

[timothydrake]

Japan says yes, it can definitely happen.

[sirkinm]

I once heard of such a thing, where the woman used popsical sticks and a couple rubber bands to prop it up. JK -- this no joking matter, people.

Yes, a woman can definitely have nonconsensual intercourse with a man, especially by use of drugs or alcohol. It could also be the case where there is mutual activity but the man says "no" to penetration, but the woman doesn't take "no" for an answer.

There is also the issue of lying about or being otherwise deceptive about birth control, submitting the man to a much higher risk of having children.

But rape aside, violence and abuse happens against men at a surprisingly alarming rate. I once heard about an initiative somewhere in the U.S. regarding domestic violence: Police became obligated to take the victimizer to jail if he or she had drawn any blood. They had to stop the rule on account of the fact that they were taking all these women to jail -- much more so than men! I can't find the source or more details anymore, so if it sounds familiar, please chime in and provide the details.

[SomeRandomGuy]

Sure, that is absolutely possible. The idea that a man being aroused is a sign of consent is faulty logic. Physical arousal and mental arousal are completely different, at least in men. Most of the time the two go together, but it is very possible to have one without the other.

[Orecle]

According to the article, the husband after being beaten to the point of serious bleeding and even being burnt with an iron, all this inducing intense fear was then ordered to become aroused in 5 mins. As a lot of men know it is not that easy to summon arousal (and keep it) if not in the right mental state.

Stress is a major contributor to men not being able to get it up. So I was intrigued how a man can get it up naturally in that short space of time with the threat of physical violence, when alot of men cannot manage it in normal nervous circumstances (like when trying to impress a new date)

[Orecle]

Originally Posted by SomeRandomGuy

Sure, that is absolutely possible. The idea that a man being aroused is a sign of consent is faulty logic. Physical arousal and mental arousal are completely different, at least in men. Most of the time the two go together, but it is very possible to have one without the other.

Besides when you are in a dream state, how is physical arousal and mental arousal different. Are you truely saying a man can summon an erection without being mentally present? How does a man bypass conscious thought to get an erection?

So then why do alot of men suffer from erectile disfunction bought on by mental stress?

Remember in the article he was able to summon his erection AT WILL while feeling intense fear of physical violence, something most men cannot do under less stressful condition

[SomeRandomGuy]

There are men, however, who suffer from erectile dysfunction due to physical issues, not mental. For those men, mental arousal and physical arousal are very different; they are mentally aroused, but unable to become physically so. The opposite can also be true. Physical arousal can happen without any mental arousal. I would think this most often happens with direct physical stimulation, but it seems like it should be possible to happen in other situations.

I have heard of women who felt shame after being rape because they became physically aroused. That doesn't mean that the women mentally were enjoying what was happening to them, but physically the arousal was there.

With the situation described in the article it seems that the man was able to get an erection even though he likely was neither physically or mentally aroused. Even if he willed himself to have an erection, he was still being raped since he was being forced into the erection. Regardless of the source of the erection, if a man is forced, coerced, etc into having sex without wanting to do so it is rape. The same applies to women, enjoying the sexual act does not mean that rape did not happen.

[Orecle]

Some random guy.

I agree with you about disfunction brought on by physical ailments, however what you are ignoring is that men and women are not the same. A woman does not have to be physically or mentally aroused for sex to take place ( hence the use of lubricants ie KY jelly, and the fact that a good percentage feel nothing during intercourse) and the same applies to a man being penetrated during homosexual intercourse. The penetrating man cannot get(and keep) an erection to have sex without his mind and his body present (except in puberty). Rape for a man and a woman are not the same unless the man is buggered. The woman is being penetrated without her consent and then can become aroused during the rape, the same as men who are anally penetrated.

When a man is doing the penetrating, pls explain how he can become physically aroused, without his mind being present. What you are advocating makes no sense. He was verbally instructed to become aroused, how did his body process the instruction without his mind being present. So the erection was an involuntary spasm that just happens to arrive 5 mins after instruction?

[yossarian]

When you wake up in the morning and you have a boner, did you think that boner into existence?

When men are having vivid non-sexual dreams, they get erections.

Likewise, some women have conditioned their husband to become physiologically aroused.

Think about Pavlov's dog. Pavlov trained his dog to salivate - a totally unconscious response - in response to a bell.

What do bells and salivation have in common? Nothing. Pavlov conditioned his dog to have an autonomic reaction.

This is the same thing that happens in cases of prolonged domestic abuse where the woman is the abuser. She will abuse her husband and through various Pavlovian tactics (usually carried out unconsciously) he will eventually respond by having an erection. The case where she orders him to get aroused is unusual. Usually what happens instead is the man is unconsciously trained to become aroused everytime his wife gets violent.

The wife gets violent, beats him up, he gets aroused, and she rapes him. It's not a choice on his part, he is psychologically tormented and conditioned over years. Just like women will have orgasms during rape, the man has an ejaculation despite the fact he didnt want to have sex with his abuser.

Oftentimes these women are stronger and bigger than their husbands, not to mention meaner. It is a lot more common than is acknowledged and it is very much a taboo subject.

[Poiesis Hagakure]

I'm very surprised by some of the things said about men. please do not take my comments as carrying a tone of anger I love this site and the conversations on it, and have learned much. I only hope to enliven any conversation I take part in, and share other viewpoints.
my thoughts while reading this post:

yossarin--- Some men are conditioned to equate violence, anger, fighting, abuse, etc with sex, and so they actually get aroused when there is violence.

i suppose some people can fap to it. & some people condition themselves to be sexually aroused, and can fap to cars. or sheep.

SomeRandomGuy, you make a good point about how a woman might feel shame for becoming physically aroused. This is a possible and natural occurrence.

At a conference during my high school years [in which we could sign up for multiple separate classes of our own choosing] I signed up for many classes concerning sex, std's, etc. because I was a member of a group who was going to present to our own student population. I signed up for a class about rape. We learned about a lot of different rape victims stories, possible defenses, and about the physical details.

I don't think it has as much to do with conditioning and Pavlov's dogs. Just as SomeRandomGuy brought up concerning females, they can be forced to have sex with someone and have the physical symptoms of arousal because of the physical aspects of sex, and not because of an aroused state of mind. A male is the same. They, despite being forced into sexual acts and not wanting to have sex with the female, can have a physical reaction to physical stimulation--- despite their mental state.

quick web search--- not as good as a journal article, but what evs.
Unhelpful myths about the sexual assault and rape of men Check the fifth "myth" down.

[Orecle]

Poiesis Hagakure - Thanks for the link, it did help tons

Alot of people have brought up the fact that men get boners during sleep whenwe are semi-conscious, which I accept. However this thread is not about erection during sleep, this is about an erection while being FULLY CONSCIOUS, AWAKE AND UNDER INTENSE FEAR AND STRESS. When asleep you are relaxed, so the same does not not apply here.

People are also bringing up female orgasm during rape, again the thread is not about whether orgasm can occur during rape for eiether sexes. Again the woman being raped, did not initiate the sex, and did not have to be aroused before, during or after sex, the same with a man who is having anal intercourse

In this case, the man was ordered to become physically aroused because sex COULD NOT TAKE PLACE OTHERWISE, my question was if that was possible under extreme fear.

Anyway judging by the replies, it seems people are saying A MAN CAN BE PHYSICALLY AROUSED WITHOUT CONSCIOUS VOLITION, WHILE UNDER EXTREME FEAR, then the responses are saying the fear induced the erection, Yossarian is suggesting that it is a Pavlovs dog response. Both these arguments I have no argument for

I see peoples concern

Fact - After being beaten, the man was instructed to produce an erection in 5, which he did.

A problem alot of people might have is whether he chose to have the erection (which had to take place 1st, before the rape, unlike with women), AS IF IT IMPLIES THAT HE WAS NOT RAPED IF HE DID.
Well it does not imply it, he was still forced to do something he did not want to do. .

BUT

fact - he was verbally instructed, to do something he had to CONSCIOUSLY PROCESS (unlike morning boners) after the instruction, which was ON HIS MIND, did he have to mentally choose to arouse himself, because he feared the future consequences, or did the fear bypass his mental faculties and create the erection as a response

I think for many the word arousal implies that the victim enjoyed it, which is not true. in the case, of the man it seems that society would show less sympathy if he chose arousal before sex (whether not he did it out of fear for his life

[brendannz]

I am a guy. Quite a few years ago, I was really drunk and stoned and lying on the floor, and got raped by a girl through clothes. She was really drunk too.

Was a really humiliating experience, and my head wasn't really in the right place at the time, and I was a bit paranoid about a lot of things.

Since then, I've known the girl as a mutual friend, and haven't talked to her about it. Basically been to embarassed to, and also would rather pretend it never happened.

I just took responsibility for my own stupidity, and tried to forget about it.

I'd say that it happens, that males to get raped by females when they're drunk, but it's less an act of violence, and more one of humiliation..

[ssandra]

I know that it is possible for my husband to get a erection without being turned on. So, it is possible.

Besides that, I don´t think that the woman started out with hitting him until he bled, and beating him with irons, it probably started slower. So yes, he was probably scared, but maybe not in the sense of panic. And then it is possible.

I just feel for the guy, and I am happy that he is now divorced.

[ballhit2]

A woman could rape a man with a Q-tip if she really wanted to and if he were restrained.

[gingembre]

It's very interesting, and I think shows much about me LOL, that the first thing I thought of here was a D/s relationship. Now that is different in that there is, shall we say, consent for there to be non-consent, but the example stands as there are people who have shown that yes erections (and female arousal) can be trained (much like the Pavlov example given). As ssandra pointed out, it very likely did not start out at such an extreme. And, if he was truly afraid of leaving and of further violence, I would bet that after the first time she followed through on her threat of more pain, he quickly worked to train himself so as to avoid it. We can overcome many things when we are worried for survival.