Does "far-distance love" can exist?

[lost1]

hi...
do you think that a couple that are separated far away from each other can really keep their way as a "couple"???

ie, like the girl lives in australia, while the other one lives in asia??

[rocksupreme]

If you have (concrete) plans to get together again, it can. But an open-ended long-distance thing is just a very sorry limbo state that is best resolved.

Honestly, if you are going to be apart for "who knows how long," it would be better to be open about the fact that you both have emotional needs in the meantime. You may try an open relationship, or just say to each other "if we have a second chance in the future, let's try again." You may just have to let go.

I had to spend a 20 months on the opposite side of the world from my girlfriend. But now we're living together happily, and we'll be getting married this year.

It isn't easy, but it is possible.

[Eric Roosevelt]

From what I've seen, it simply doesn't work for most people. When you like someone, it's usually the flesh-and-blood person that you like, not the associations you get from online text messaging or video conferencing. On the other hand, you can try it for yourself. I'm sure there must be some people who have succeeded with it, at least for a short period of time.

[aelle]

Yes, it can.

I am myself in a long distance relationship and have been for 16 months now - first in Japan with 1000km between us, now in 2 different European countries. I started a topic about it a little while ago here.

The challenges of a long distance relationship are different to those of an in person relationship, as you can probably imagine very well. But the advantages are also different. It will allow you to benefit from a committed love life while enjoying and growing from independence. It will push you to have life-defining conversations, to discuss your values, long term goals, dreams and aspirations very early on, and find out if they are compatible. It will require you to be honest with yourself, open with your partner and a great communicator - all necessary bases for a good relationship, but that can unfortunately be avoided for a long time in person. It will develop your sexual creativity, as it is tricky to be intimate with an ocean between you...

Many couples go through a distance period at some point in their lives - think of military families, for example. And the only statistics I could find show that long distance couples do not break up at a higher rate than in person ones.

I'd be happy to answer if you have more questions on the topic. Good luck!

[lost1]

I had to spend a 20 months on the opposite side of the world from my girlfriend. But now we're living together happily, and we'll be getting married this year.

wow... congrats!!!

I'd be happy to answer if you have more questions on the topic. Good luck!

i think it's all answered on your thread, thanks a lot
i'll post again if i ever feel need some help...

[funchy]

It can. But you need to be realistic. If you were dating someone locally, if you were together a year, it would mean you had a year of shared experiences. If you commit to someone long-distance for a year, you many only see them a few times. The rest of it is what they decide to tell you in emails and phone calls. I am not saying the other person is necessarily dishonest but it's hard to really get to know another person when you don't see them.

I also ask myself why I'd be in a LTR with someone, and companionship is a big thing. For me, it's hard to feel like I had companionship when I'm always going places alone. When friends go out as couples, you'd be going out alone. When you're invited to a friend's wedding, you'd have no date. If you had a horrible day, there's nobody there to hug you. If you want to curl up with someone and relax watching a movie, you're stuck at home alone.

If life is short and time is our most valuable thing in this life, given the choice between a normal relationship and a long-distance one, I'd have to go with the local person.

[Diandra25]

it can.

we are in the same country but separated.see at weekends,but not all weeks.

we are a couple in every sense of the word.it hwa sbeen almost 3 years.

If you really know that what tou share is real,if you both are committed,adn are honest with each other,it is perfectly possible to have a relationship.

but you both have to clear your objectives,what want and dont want,emotinal needs,etc....and you need to have a very good communication with each other.

i agree when it was said that the statistics of being long term are higher.

if you think about it,when a couple handles to face the complications of a distance relationship,and still are together after it,then it shows that love is strong.Love is there,and no distance can appart the ones who know it.

[rocksupreme]

It certainly isn't easy. There are a lot of challenges. But if you are both mature enough and you have a strong connection, there is no reason why you can't make it work.

True, most long-distance relationships don't work out. But if you think about it, most normal relationships don't work out either. It really comes down to the people more than it does to the circumstances.