Friends and Girl.

[xhironakamurax]

Hey guys, I think it's probably my age but I've been going through this thing that started 2 days ago.
I'll give you some back story here.
I'm 16, homeschooled and I'm not saying because I'm homeschooled I don't have as many friends. I work alot, and I do see my friends alot, and I work with one of them, and I may kill him...mabey.
So I have alot of friends, but I really only see about 3 of them, I talk to the rest on msn.

Now this girl I like, she's homeschooled too, I've been working up the courage to ask her out, and we talk about dating a bit, and I finally did ask.
She said she likes me, but we should hang out as friends first.
Recently this other guy has come into her life, and I've been told by her best friend that this guys likes her, and he sees her more often and lives much closer to her. And well, I heard about them hanging out, and playing halo, and everything. And I started crying, thinking about all of this, how I should just give up on her, stop trying because he actually has time to hang out with her. Every time I hear her talking about him, I get really sad. I never thought I was the jealous type at all.

I don't know what to do, she seems to be acting different, she says he's just a friend, but I don't know. I talk to her online, and we met almost a year ago, and haven't really talked in person since then, but I know her really well, and she knows me really well, I don't keep secrets from her.

I'll add on more about my ass friend, and non ass friend.. and slightly ass friend.

[ChrisN]

Originally Posted by xhironakamurax

Hey guys, I think it's probably my age but I've been going through this thing that started 2 days ago.
I'll give you some back story here.
I'm 16, homeschooled and I'm not saying because I'm homeschooled I don't have as many friends. I work alot, and I do see my friends alot, and I work with one of them, and I may kill him...mabey.
So I have alot of friends, but I really only see about 3 of them, I talk to the rest on msn.

Now this girl I like, she's homeschooled too, I've been working up the courage to ask her out, and we talk about dating a bit, and I finally did ask.
She said she likes me, but we should hang out as friends first.
Recently this other guy has come into her life, and I've been told by her best friend that this guys likes her, and he sees her more often and lives much closer to her. And well, I heard about them hanging out, and playing halo, and everything. And I started crying, thinking about all of this, how I should just give up on her, stop trying because he actually has time to hang out with her. Every time I hear her talking about him, I get really sad. I never thought I was the jealous type at all.

I don't know what to do, she seems to be acting different, she says he's just a friend, but I don't know. I talk to her online, and we met almost a year ago, and haven't really talked in person since then, but I know her really well, and she knows me really well, I don't keep secrets from her.

I'll add on more about my ass friend, and non ass friend.. and slightly ass friend.

What the hell is an ass friend?

Okay well seems like she just wants to be friends for now, you should make due with that and get to know her better. If things work out then ask her out again but don't try to wreck her relationship with this other guy cause that will make her angry at you.

[rose A]

Ya, you gotta tell us more about the ass friend, and non ass friend, and slightly ass friend. What was their part in this?

[GrGrimm]

Personally I think your mistake was playing the "I like you" card too quick. Having been a 16 year old girl, I'd say it's not as much fun without the friends-first build up. It's better to get the chance to develop a good serious crush on the guy, butterflies in the stomach, wondering whether he likes you like like that, and maybe fantasizing a little bit about how he looked at you "that way" and "oh, my gosh, doesn't that meen he likes me?" And speaking as a woman, we usually want to make sure the guy really genuinely likes us a friend too. (Like if I was completely ugly, would he still be interested in my personality?) I'm not saying sometimes the direct approach won't work. And I know you don't want to just cast in the "just friends" role. But, I think it's more effective if you test the waters gradually. Throw out a complement or two (but not too many at first- that gets creepy). Play around and flirt a little bit. Give her a chance to get worked up. Then, when you move in for the kill- DO NOT act like, well, um I kinda like you like as girlfriend material. Is that okay? Girls want guys to be confident who aren't just despirate to have a girlfriend. If you start hitting on her a little bit, she'll pick up on it. If she pulls back, you know you might not be the type of boyfriend she's after. Maybe she's more interested in the halo guy cause he's closer and more accessible. They'll be other girls. So, my point is- flirt a little bit, be cool, don't act despirate, try to be confident- even ever so slightly arrogant/cocky, and don't pull the "i really like you" card too soon. And if you get rejected by one person- don't focus on that. You'll just set yourself up for more rejection. And don't dwell on perceived shortcomings. Just tell yourself, I am awesome cause of this, this, and this, and the right girl will see that. Hell, you have a job- at your age that rocks.

[GrGrimm]

I missed line referring to the ass and non ass friends. =) Huh? lol I imagine you mean jackass? By the way, although online can be a good way to start a friendship, you really need to try for a girl you can hang out with. Must suck to be homeschooled. Maybe try to focus on getting a car so you have a wider radius?

[xhironakamurax]

Thanks everyone.
I'll explain the ass friends later, yeah i mean Ah0le friend, they aren't relevant.

I should have mentioned that even though we were on msn for about a year, we both have webcams, so as for flirting we've gone pretty far over msn. We've really virtually dated.

Also homeschooling doesn't suck, it's just different.

I should also mention that she started a club (coven sot of) that practices magick.
Apperantly one of their spells was for lust, and involved cutting themselves to draw blood for the spell.
I practice magick myself, but I don't agree with that, anyone else here that doesn't agree?

[Alexjstrandberg]

Take this as a learning lesson, if a girl isn't interested in you let her go. In order to attract women better you need to be able to be fine without ever happens with them. If you are friends, great. If you end up together, cool. If nothing at all happens you should have the same reaction.

If you let go of liking her in that way it wouldn't bother you in the least if your friend is dating her. Him backing off because you called dibs on her first is the very reason she doesn't like you in that way. You are overly attached and possessive of a girl that just wants to be friends with you.

If I was interested in a girl that didn't like me I would let her go easily because I know I'm not for everyone. I would even encourage her to date my friend if I thought they were a better match.

The big mistake that you are making is thinking that the guy caused the girl to not like you. If your friend wasn't around she would still not be attracted to you. Learn to let the situation go and you will be much happier off ( and attract more women who are a better fit for you)

[xhironakamurax]

Originally Posted by Alexjstrandberg

Take this as a learning lesson, if a girl isn't interested in you let her go. In order to attract women better you need to be able to be fine without ever happens with them. If you are friends, great. If you end up together, cool. If nothing at all happens you should have the same reaction.

If you let go of liking her in that way it wouldn't bother you in the least if your friend is dating her. Him backing off because you called dibs on her first is the very reason she doesn't like you in that way. You are overly attached and possessive of a girl that just wants to be friends with you.

If I was interested in a girl that didn't like me I would let her go easily because I know I'm not for everyone. I would even encourage her to date my friend if I thought they were a better match.

The big mistake that you are making is thinking that the guy caused the girl to not like you. If your friend wasn't around she would still not be attracted to you. Learn to let the situation go and you will be much happier off ( and attract more women who are a better fit for you)

Ok, first off he's not my friend I've never met the guy before.
I never called dibs on her, nor am I possessive of her.
I already decided to move on.