Fulfilling Friendships Help

[aphorist]

Hey y'all,

So I've been growing a bit lately and I've come up against a wall which I'm hoping some of you may be able to help me get around. I'm in undergraduate college and my friendships seem to be fulfilling less and less of what I crave. I really do love my friends, but there's an increasing rift in our relationships.

Whenever two of us or a group gets together I'm really kind of just there to enjoy their company. My friends talk about the social dramas around them, which are fine, but I'm usually uninterested and so I'm a little on the outside. I do enjoy their company, but I also wish for thought provoking conversation. When I do add in my thoughts, the conversation regresses very quickly.

I don't want to force myself upon my friends, but I do feel like it may be time for me to move on. That's where I get stuck. I don't know how to make these types of friends. I've tried some personal ads, but haven't found anyone who wants to just sit and chat about life or conscious development. I'm also not sure that I want to hang out with people who are 10, 20, or 30 years older than I am. I'm still a kid, and would like to make bonds with people who come from this viewpoint.

And as much as I like chatting online in forums like this one, personal interaction is much more satisfying. Any thoughts?

Thanks!!

[recordrustle]

hi, i'm sorta having a similar thing too and wonder where to meet these people, but i just try to make conversation with everyone i meet because they could always be a potential friend who is interested in talking about more conscious things and that has been working.

i dont see why you shouldn't hang out with people who are older than you, i'm in my early twenties and have a few friends in their late twenties/early thirties who are interested in this kinda thing. of all my friends my age, only about 40% seem to take interest in talking about life purpose topics, and thats ok, i spend more time with them and less time with the friends that talk about who they boned last night.

maybe if you're at university there's some clubs- cultural, philosophy etc you could join. i was an international student mentor at university and that was really cool as i met lots of people from different cultures and i had some very interesting conversations.

i think its just a matter of connecting with someone who is on the same wavelength, take the opportunity to meet new people and take your time to build fulfilling relationships.

oh yeah listen to music that has thought provoking lyrics is always good when you cant talk to someone!

[GrGrimm]

I imagine that if you put your intention out there to meet people of like-mindedness, the universe will eventually deliver. I was lucky enough to make friends in highschool (who I moved away from, but found their ways back into my life) that are on the same wavelength and like to have "deep conversations." There are probably people all around you, but it's hard to pick them out at first glance. I've found with some people, you can talk to them, but when you talk to them, you can't be overly intellectual- like you have to simplify it, like you're talking about everyday stuff. Otherwise they get intimidated, or don't know how to add to the conversation- so they bring it back to a topic they're more comfortable with. It's nice to have friends you can bounce new ideas back and forth with. If you keep bouncing them off random people you encounter, eventually you'll find others with something to share, and their differing perspectives will help you continue to grow. And i'm sure you won't have to necessarily start hanging with an older crowd. But, don't ditch the friends you already have. Personally, I have friends I can't have a philisophical conversation with, but there's lots of other reasons I like having them in my life. As long as they don't force you to be part of the drama, just sit back and learn from it or be amused by it. Even people who read Pavlina have their social games and soap operas. I'm sure you've read the intention-manifestation stuff. Just tell the universe somehow this void in your life is going to get filled, and I'm sure it will.