turning the subject

[Lupe]

is turning the subject rude? for example when people ask u some uncomfortable question, should u say "i don't want to answer that' and then turn the conversation around, or just ignore?

[Angela]

That's a valid choice, but it might be a more fun conversation if you use a bit more finesse.

Instead of saying, "I don't want to answer that," for instance, you could ask, "Why do you want to know the answer to that?" or "How will knowing the answer to that make a difference for you?"

Their answer to your question will allow you to gracefully and naturally guide the conversation. If the person answers, "Oh, I was just curious," you could reply with, "I see." And then either just watch what the other person's face does () or add, "That reminds me of this curious thing that happened today....." If the person instead tells you that they're asking because they'd like to get your perspective, then you can go ahead and give your perspective, perhaps in more abstract terms, without actually answering the direct question. And if it's something you want to keep completely private, you could say, "My perspective is that it works best for me to do more listening than talking on this subject. "

[Daffy Duck]

I agree with Angela. It doesn't happen often but one good thing to say is, "Ahh, well that's a bit private. I'll forgive you for asking if you forgive me for not answering."

[Angela]

LOL, I like that one Daffy. I'd reserve that one for when I want to give them a little bit of what-for -- it's likely to make the other person feel a bit sheepish.

(I mean, "....make the other person choose to feel a bit sheepish. )

[Eric Roosevelt]

You could just say "mmm, I don't know" and then ask some sort of follow-up question. I also like Daffy's response.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being direct at all. Whether it's perceived as rude depends largely on your tone of voice and body language. If you think you sounded rude for some reason, you could always give some sort of signal down the line that you're still friendly and that you're not taking anything personally.