Speed dating: How do you answer the question: What do you do?

[Horizon'sEdge]

I'm following up an idea from Jason Womack's blog over on the GTD website: Jason Womack: How do YOU answer "the" question.

I'm in the process of breaking away from the habit of being single and not "getting out there", and after some reasoning with my Inner Critic (he is sometimes wrong when it comes to advice) I have decided to go speed dating!

So my question is this: What do you do? And if you cannot describe what you do, how would you describe what you do if you could? What aspects would you cover? Is it what you do or why you do it?

Thanks in advance, and hopefully your answers will get me closer to mine!

[Daniel Terhorst]

I think Paul Graham (Hackers & Painters) said the ideal answer to this question is something like:

"Developing a new dialect of the Lisp programming language."





Oh...




Wait...


That's what you're supposed to say if you don't want the conversation to continue.

-- Daniel Terhorst

[JeffS]

I've struggled with this myself, especially since the answer (the long and short version) has changed so much!

The hardest thing for me has been to not sell myself short. It's easy to say something like: "Well, I do a bunch of things--some freelance writing, I have a blog, I tutor people in a bunch of stuff, and I play music sometimes."

Sound impressive? Not terribly. All of those things are true, and if I told you more about all of them, you might find me interesting (maybe ) but it isn't a very good way to make you a target of everyone at the cocktail party. (Or wherever. I don't think I've ever been to a cocktail party.)

So I tend to go for something fairly general that makes people want to ask for more info, like: "I run my own consulting business." Just as short as sweet as the people who say, "I'm a playwright," or "I work at a bank."

It's also a good reminder for me not to sell myself short--I may not be making big bucks doing what I do (helping people get into business school, as an independent tutor and curriculum product developer), but I am good at it, and it is a valuable skill in the marketplace. Just because "what you do" doesn't lend itself to a snappy two-word response doesn't mean it isn't valuable or interesting. (The opposite is more often the case!)

Good luck speed dating--I'd love to hear about it. I've never been, and since I'm not looking right now, I won't soon, but I must say I'm curious as to what kind of experiences people have.

[JJP]

Do you feel the need to have a "right" answer if someone asks you what you do? Are you looking to get approval for who you are?

I don't think anyone really cares what anyone else "does," y'know? Jobs are boring. Just do your gig, be cool and together, but be interested in others instead of trying to impress/reassure them by accurately and precisely describing what you do and its aspects and your motivations in 1 sentence (gasp for air). Why don't you ask them what they do? Now that is a more important question to worry about, since it has greater implications in qualifying people you may want to date (but why aren't you? Because people are usually more interested in themselves! Get the picture?)

Good luck with your dating Horizon'sEdge

[Colm OReilly]

I've multiple streams of income as well, but usually I tell people I work with men to develop their confidence in social situations.

Of course, a good follow up question you could ask is "what do you do for fun, what are you really passionate about?" It's good to know the answer to this yourself as well.

Colm

[Horizon'sEdge]

Thanks JeffS, that's you've given me something to think about there, I agree that being too specific probably comes across as unclear and "um, er, gosh, well, I don't really know" ... like Hugh Grant!

Daniel: As a graduate of Computer Science I find your answer funny... thankfully I learnt that lesson long ago!

JJP: I don't feel the need approval, I'm happy with where I'm at, it's just that sometimes I think my "brain marketing department" doesn't up its game enough and get that message across!

Colm: Yes, some other ice breakers are good as well, I agree.

[Michael Chui]

Originally Posted by Daniel Terhorst

I think Paul Graham (Hackers & Painters) said the ideal answer to this question is something like:

"Developing a new dialect of the Lisp programming language."

Do you say it with a lisp?

[Love]

You can pick the most interesting part of your job and emphasize that. Or you can pick how your job affects other people.

Ex: for me (I work at a nature center) on my facebook I wrote: "Saving the planet from environmental destruction, 25 kids at a time."

Or, if you were a banker, you could say: I handle more money than most people have ever seen in their lives.

Something that prompts a follow-up.

Or to Jeff S: You might say: I'm a renaissance man of the future: writer, webman, tutor, musician extraordinaire.

[smthomas]

Originally Posted by Horizon'sEdge

I'm following up an idea from Jason Womack's blog over on the GTD website: Jason Womack: How do YOU answer "the" question.

I'm in the process of breaking away from the habit of being single and not "getting out there", and after some reasoning with my Inner Critic (he is sometimes wrong when it comes to advice) I have decided to go speed dating!

So my question is this: What do you do? And if you cannot describe what you do, how would you describe what you do if you could? What aspects would you cover? Is it what you do or why you do it?

Thanks in advance, and hopefully your answers will get me closer to mine!

Speed dating is the immediate dating solution for youngsters as compare to normal dating.

This is quite effective system to meet new singles.

Here are few suggestions which you can follow on speed dating:

• You should look good by your dressing, your body language and hygiene.
• Smile on face and Look happy to be there.
• Try to keep eye contact without staring.
• Ask few good questions that will make her think about you.

Well you should also be prepare with few questions which you can ask on speed dating.

[LifeFirst]

Well, this really really worked for me....that one time that I've ever used it.


I was at a party and you know I hate having cliche conversations, or giving cliche answers to cliche questions. Well, this dreadful "what do you do" question came up. I was in a group of people, I was talking to this girl and she asked me "So what do you do for a living??"

I don't know what went through my head at that time.

But I lowered my head, glared at her, and I said

"I..............
I........




......kill people"

But I said it in a way that made sure she know that I was joking.

Basically, she (and everyone else) busted out laughing and knew i wasn't being serious.

We had a great time...but I left early, should have gotten her number or something. But I wasn't really interested anyways.





Oh yeah.....I wouldn't suggest you say what I said but.......you get the idea.

[Peleke4]

I've never attended a Speed Dating event, but I do know someone who was the manager of such events. I hate to knock Speed Dating, but I'll let you in on what she revealed to me: some of the girls, particularly the most attractive, aren't even looking to hook up but are actually paid to attend the events. Now, that's how it was for that particular Speed Dating Company. It may be legit with others, who knows.

[Angela]

Peleke4, that is so scandalous!! I'm shocked. It's really a "let the dater beware" situation out there, isn't it? I guess that makes sense, if there's money to be made by someone.

My favorite response to The Question:

Q. What do you do?
A. About what?

[ralphperry]

Hi,
About the Speedy dating,
Speed Dating is a great way for singles to meet and mix, but if you aren’t sure what to find out about your “dates,” you’ll waste every precious minute you have with the person in front of you. After all, you don’t have the luxury of talking for hours or even taking a few minutes of nervous energy to verbally fumble.

What do you do for work? - It is an introductory question. It may reveal the professional status of a person but little about his personality. So move on to another question.

[MyEyeIsOpen]

I struggle with this right now. I do a lot of stuff and none of it is traditional...

[aelle]

In the particular case of speeddating, how about you control the conversation from the start, and lead it to a more interesting or fun topic? You only have to sustain it for a few minutes anyway.
Besides, if the other party leaves the conversation thinking "That guy made me laugh so hard/had fascinating things to say about xxx, but I don't even know what he does!" that would be likely to lead to a next conversation, no?

[ssandra]

If you don't want to talk about work, you can make the conversation go to something you like doing, a hobby or something:

"I'm a consultant by day, but at night I'm a secret rock star!"

"I work in a bank, but in my free time really enjoy rock climbing"

etc.

[frajilthunder]

how bout 'i type 1handed comments on steamy msg board threads' lol

[Gene]

Originally Posted by frajilthunder

how bout 'i type 1handed comments on steamy msg board threads' lol

That might work but I suspect you might have to explain your meaning to some and in speed dating would you have time? On another note I would say that it is because I only have one fully functional hand. Short explanation.