Makeovers: Advice for guys?

[Cron]

I was recently talking with a female friend about being turned down for a date 3 times in a row.

We are close friends so she felt safe enough to take a risk and give me some hard, unsolicited advice. Basically, she told me to redo my look with my clothing and hair cut. I think she is right, but her suggestions are just way out of my comfort zone. I will probably let myself get a little bit used to some of the ideas, start off with some of the easier ones, and then work my way up....gradually if I have to.

This may sound silly, but she suggested not parting my hair in the middle anymore. She may be right about it not being attractive, but Dad parts his hair on the side and I would look like Gomer Pyle with hair short enough not to need a part( I wear it fairly short now ) So, first question.......do other people believe that men's haircuts with parts in the middle are definite no-no?

My friend advised me to begin browsing through GQ, cut out looks l like, go to a fancy department store, get something similar, and get it tailored.

I think it would take a major change in attitude just to be at piece with accept the hassle of dropping off, picking up, and paying for dry cleaning every week. I've always had a "what a waste of your life time" attitude about the other suggestions.......making your look and shopping a hobby.

I know that attitude sucks, as I appreciate it when women put effort.....and I know it is effort.....into looking nice. I know it is only fair/necessary to do the same if I want those women to have an open mind towards me.

I guess my question at this point, is there an easier way to upgrade wardrobe/look then doing what women do......exploring looks, going to taylors, shopping etc?

Like I said. I am not flexible now, but I am willing to begin moving myself in that direction. I know having an open mind to suggestions is necessary if you want to solve problems.

[TheHulaQueen]

Sometimes what you can do is go to an expensive hair salon and let someone with experience help you choose a look that works for you. You might pay 3x normal, however end up with something magnificent that someone else can maintain.

And for clothes... it's not necessarily needed to go GQ. Environmentally dry cleaning is horrible, it costs money, and takes time too.

What it really comes down to is who you want to attract, and who you need to be to attract that person. Maybe you need a change, but it might not to be GQ status! It could be a matter of changing where you are looking for women to ask out. Do you know what I mean?

Sit down and write out in detail who this lady is you're looking for, how important each item is (musts vs nice to have's) and then who you would need to be to attract that person. I guarantee you you'll learn something important from this exercise (I did it and met my husband soon after).

[Scorpio]

If you have glasses get contacts. Most people look better with them. They're pretty cheap and low maintanence too.

For clothes just go to a store that strikes your fancy and start trying stuff on. Ask the staff to help you pick stuff out. Some of my best outfits were things other people picked out for me. Always try clothes on. Many things that you would dismiss just from seeing on the rack look surprisingly good once you're wearing them. Be open to trying new styles, don't judge something til you see what it looks like on you.

Get a decent pair of shoes, even from store like Aldo is fine. They're worth the investment and last a long time.

[elainevdw]

From looking through GQ, I wouldn't recommend it. Their fashion advice is expensive, time-consuming, and too oriented on details that most people wouldn't notice. Women have tons of great magazines with various degrees of fashion advice, but I haven't seen a good one yet for guys. However, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy on TV usually has some really good, simple tips for guys that aren't too difficult or expensive to adapt into a typical guy's routine. They're really good at creating a manly makeover that a guy can actually stick to and not be embarrassed about.

For hair, find a stylist that comes up with a look that you like that's easy to do and takes less than 5 minutes every morning. Then, stick with her! A slightly different cut and a teeny amount of hair gel might make a huge difference. Try a few stylists out and get your lady friend's opinion on each cut, then stick with the one who does something you like. Keep an open mind; it's their job to know whether a middle part looks good on you or not. And remember, a haircut doesn't cost $5. Be willing to spend at least $20, and don't complain about it -- girls can get stuck with cuts in the $60 range!

You might also want to ask the stylist or your friend what they think about your sideburns. Depending on what shape your face is, slightly longer (or shorter) ones might look really awesome on you. Sideburns are one of those things you can change without venturing into the realm of facial hair, if you have strong feelings about it.

For fashion, like I said, don't bother with magazines like GQ. If possible, get honest advice from a male friend you consider to be well-dressed. If you don't have any friends like that, go to a place that's full of well-dressed guys your age (whether it's a classy nightclub or a certain shopping district) and try and discern fashion patterns from the crowd.

You could also have a lady friend take you shopping. One thing that a lot of guys don't know how to do is find a flattering color, and girls are great at recommendations in that department. My brother looks hella awesome in baby blue, for example, but he always wore black until his girlfriend got him a blue shirt that she just loved on him. If you find a salesperson at a store that seems pretty cool, they can also suggest stuff for you.

Trying tons of stuff on isn't exactly necessary, but it helps. Especially if you have a friend or salesperson recommend stuff for you -- just get used to the idea of trying stuff on!

And again, a flattering pair of pants doesn't cost $15. Definitely find something that you can wash at home, but remember that a good pair of pants or a nice shirt can last you years, so you might as well invest a bit in it.

[Mark Lapierre]

It's possible to dress comfortably, without going for the latest trends in hair style and clothing, and still look great. And frankly doing that would surely be more empowering than adapting to fashion trends because one friend said so, and a few girls turned you down.

Fashion doesn't have to mean the latest look, nor excessive effort. I used to think that I was completely unfashionable. I didn't care about how I looked until a few years ago when I started to compare myself to others and found myself lacking. But a few friends told me that they liked my style when I said I wanted to improve it. Casual but neat, and not too reserved or common. And I don't put in any more effort than ironing a shirt! (now that I actually wear shirts. Didn't for ages; why bother with ironing when I don't have to? ) These are girls who always dress well, and one who works in fashion, so I take their word for it and don't worry about how I look.

I like Sheryl's advice; and I think it means that it may not be necessary to change your look at all. And from what I've heard and experienced, as long as you're well groomed and 'neat', women won't care if your clothes are designer labels or not. (though they can speak for themselves if their opinion differs). On the other hand, beauty is in the eye of the beholder; it could turn out that the kind of woman you want to attract likes the way you look now, but the kind of women you've gone after haven't been the right ones.

However, if you really do want to improve your image, sure, go for it. As Elaine suggested, take a lady friend shopping. Or go with a few different friends on different occasions and get some varied opinions. Try a few different styles and find out what works for you. And be prepared for some discomfort initially, and a lot of uncertainty, but I'm sure you'll grow to appreciate your new look, whatever it is, as long as it's what you truly want.

btw I've been complimented a few times on the way my glasses make me look. So, as with everything else, there are exceptions to the glasses/contacts rule. But if you have got glasses get an opinion on how you look with or without them.

[moviestar]

We need pics.

[skydust]

how old are you?

it is not necessary to make fashion your lifestyle if thats not who you are. just take care of yourself and look presentable, and wear clothes that make you look and feel good. this may very well mean breaking out of your comfort zone, but you will probably discover that you like the result. besides, it is an opportunity for personal development. maybe you could ask this friend to take you shopping and get some new clothes that you could combine endlessly. classic pieces go a long way. think of it as being the best you can be, not as becoming someone else.

[BettyBoo]

haircut-please loose the parting in the middle haircut. yes, it's a no no.
try short haircut with short bangs pointing down. well -something like maximus in gladiator. and yes i think thats a very modern lookin haircut for that age, but he did looked really hot. and i noticed it looks good on almost every man.


clothes- you must do some sports so that your body is lean and with some muscles. THAN you can wear simple white shirt and jeans and u will definitely look good.

thats mine humble opinion.
good luck with the makeover

[John Wesley]

She is totally right about losing the part in the middle. It seems like this girl is a good friend who is really trying to help you. I would listen to everything she says, even if it makes you uncomfortable. To improve yourself you need to take chances. Maybe you should try using the 30 day trial method Steve proposes in one of his best posts.

[dor]

some observations i have from looking at young women and not so young women:

a. don't try to dress absurdly younger than yourself. you can always dress older than yourself
b. often women where what is 'fashionable' but it doesn't look good on them because of their body types. rather than wear what is trendy -fashion is an 'idiot tax' - wear what looks good on you.
c. how you carry yourself is just as important - posture, confidence, grace. I can tell most American women a mile away because 90% walk like men -ungraceful, heavy steps, ...

anyway, I think you should pick a look YOU are comfortable with, find an image/icon admire that both men and women find attractive and echos your complexion and body type.....and try one or two outfits - even if its just going to the store and trying them on....see if you like it....

[JeffT]

The cool thing about being a guy is that you can look good with only a fraction of the effort that women put in to looking good.

Get a haircut without a part. Parts are from the era of our fathers, and you don't want to look like your father.

Forget about GQ. The next time you see a girl that you are attracted to take notice of the guy she is with. Notice how he dresses, grooms, etc. Then start applying parts of his style to yourself. The best way to learn how to dress is to learn from the guys that attract the kind of girls that you are attracted to.

The biggest mistake guys make with clothes is wearing things that don't fit(too loose). Make sure your clothes fit properly. The seam at the top of your shirt sleeve should rest where your arm meets your shoulder, not hanging halfway down your bicep. Your pants should fit snug but not tight. Your pant legs should touch the soles at the back of your shoes if you are wearing denim. They can be a little longer as long as you are not walking on them.

You can find some great clothes at good prices at Nordstrom Rack. They have an in house seamstress there that can make sure everything that you buy fits properly.

And above all, where nice shoes, and no, tennis shoes are not nice shoes.

[dor]

Originally Posted by JeffT

The cool thing about being a guy is that you can look good with only a fraction of the effort that women put in to looking good.

Get a haircut without a part. Parts are from the era of our fathers, and you don't want to look like your father.

Forget about GQ. The next time you see a girl that you are attracted to take notice of the guy she is with. Notice how he dresses, grooms, etc. Then start applying parts of his style to yourself. The best way to learn how to dress is to learn from the guys that attract the kind of girls that you are attracted to.

i agree about gq, but i dont think you should just try to imitate any guy - we all have different personalities, I am comfortable in a brooks brothers suit, for example. I am not so comfortable in hip hop wear or whatever you want to call it, and would feel like a clown dressed for the circus.....
we also have different body types you see a girl with a guy who likes vertically striped shirts for example, and he's tall and you're short, well you're going to look even shorter in vertically stripped shirts....
i know that's an extreme example but I think you see my point?

[JeffT]

Originally Posted by dor

i agree about gq, but i dont think you should just try to imitate any guy - we all have different personalities, I am comfortable in a brooks brothers suit, for example. I am not so comfortable in hip hop wear or whatever you want to call it, and would feel like a clown dressed for the circus.....
we also have different body types you see a girl with a guy who likes vertically striped shirts for example, and he's tall and you're short, well you're going to look even shorter in vertically stripped shirts....
i know that's an extreme example but I think you see my point?

I'm not saying that you should imitate any one guy. I'm saying that you can get fashion ideas from guys that are with the type of women you like and apply those ideas to yourself. Chances are, if a girl and guy have been together for a significant amount of time, the girl helped him pick out some of his clothes and influenced his style towards the way that she likes him to look. So you can definitely get some fashion ideas by noticing the way a guy dresses if he is with a girl that you are attracted to.

Good point about body type. That is an extreme example. As long as your clothes fit properly you should be OK. When in doubt, take a fashion savvy girl shopping with you.

[Lynn 007]

There is some great advice here but I think making sure your clothes are clean and pressed is also important.

If you don't have the time to press/iron your shirts once you've washed them drop them off at the dry cleaners and they'll press them for a fraction of the cost of having them dry clean them. This also saves you time to do other things.

[dor]

Originally Posted by Lynn 007

There is some great advice here but I think making sure your clothes are clean and pressed is also important.

brooks brothers an nearly all shirt makers have nice, 100 cotton non-iron dress shirts - they really don't wrinkle and they're really comfortoable.

Jeff - there is also things like color - some colors can make a ruddier complexion too ruddy, ect... high waists might look silly if you've already got long legs...

[Alex Wu]

Part of leaving your comfort zone will involve spending a bit more on clothes than you're used to. Personally, I have in the past bought shirts for $10 or less, pants for no more than $30-35, and always on sale. So I had a good male friend (who knows much more about fashion than me) take me shopping last week, I loved some of the clothes I saw, they looked great. They just had price tags in the $50-100+ range, and I wasn't prepared to spend that much money, even if I could afford it, so I bought nothing... travelled 2 hours to a big city to shop and bought nothing.

But I need to leave the comfort zone of what I'm used to wearing, at least because the clothes I have right now are so old they're losing teeth and getting a tattered/torn at the edges. That may mean forking over more than I'm used to for a pair of pants. Maybe the good clothes last longer too - that would kind of make up for it.