Masculine vs Feminine man

[Stealth]

I've read David Dieda's book, The Way of the Superior Man, and my first and last relationship of one month has got me thinking that I'm more of a feminine man than a masculine one, but other things get me thinking that I'm a masculine man. and then sometimes I'm not sure and I think I'm balanced. How can I substantially tell which one I am?

[Manomanman]

Stop thinking in binaries.

[yossarian]

I think you should recognize that it's your own choice to be one way or another.

The real question is not "What I am"

The real question is "What do I want to be"

[bluedragon]

I would try to look more at which qualities appeal the most to me, and what style of behaving, talking, etc are more appealing to me. Whatever particularity of personality you might have, chances are it can be used to your advantage. In other words, there are ways and there are better ways to make use of each personality trait, and this is what personal development, psychology and the PUA community teaches.

Ultimately, I personally believe that any quality can potentially be used by anyone, in other words, I don't think that there are qualities that belong to "someone else", because that is his style, while another person would not be fit to embody those qualities because it would not be really "him" - I think we can take something good from any kind of person who inspires us.

[newsbone]

Originally Posted by Stealth

I've read David Dieda's book, The Way of the Superior Man, and my first and last relationship of one month has got me thinking that I'm more of a feminine man than a masculine one, but other things get me thinking that I'm a masculine man. and then sometimes I'm not sure and I think I'm balanced. How can I substantially tell which one I am?

Are you strong or are you weak? I thank God am not in your position! Female is female and male is male. Feminine man is a sign of weakness in your higher position of strength.

[Acting Like Godot]

Women are stronger than men.

All over the world, women live longer than men.

[newmark]

Is the length of a life equivalent to the strength of a person?

[Acting Like Godot]

It depends on your definition of strength.

If by strength, you actually mean attributes like courage, determination, perseverance etc, it's not clear to me that women are weaker than men.

[newsbone]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

It depends on your definition of strength.

If by strength, you actually mean attributes like courage, determination, perseverance etc, it's not clear to me that women are weaker than men.

What else then is strength? From animals to humans the female is always inferior; in everything we always have the advantage. Sports, education, etc.

[Bradshaw]

I see a lot more women compared to men in universities. Maybe it's just here, but still. Are we really that much better in education?

And don't women currently make up 57% of all college students? With a higher success rate too, i believe?

[newsbone]

Originally Posted by Bradshaw

I see a lot more women compared to men in universities. Maybe it's just here, but still. Are we really that much better in education?

And don't women currently make up 57% of all college students? With a higher success rate too, i believe?

Okay there strength lies in numbers! I think this so because men tend to diversify and not stick in education only! Aren’t the corporate, social, political and other areas that matter male dominated? If push comes to shove they won’t be there anywhere including the numbers in colleges!

[Eric Roosevelt]

Originally Posted by Bradshaw

And don't women currently make up 57% of all college students? With a higher success rate too, i believe?

Yep, and this can be generalized around large parts of the world now. I think young women see the long-term value of education more than young men. Maybe because they mature slightly earlier.

As for feminine/masculine men, that's a hard question to answer. A lot of this is biological. We choose a lot of things about ourselves, but not everything. I guess my best answer is accept yourself as you are, however you happened to have turned out.

If you really want to you can choose to polarize towards masculinity or femininity in the same way as some people polarize towards "darkworking" or "lightworking". Exactly how to do that is a slightly more complicated question.

[SomeRandomGuy]

Originally Posted by Stealth

I've read David Dieda's book, The Way of the Superior Man, and my first and last relationship of one month has got me thinking that I'm more of a feminine man than a masculine one, but other things get me thinking that I'm a masculine man. and then sometimes I'm not sure and I think I'm balanced. How can I substantially tell which one I am?

Does it matter? If you decide you are a feminine man, do you plan to try to change? Or do you plan to try to find a different type of women to date once you determine which label to apply to yourself?

I think people place too much emphasis on labels. I would suggest to be who you are, and not worry about conforming to someone else's idea of what a man should be. Find women you are interested in and who you get along with and try to connect with them. Personally, I do not see much value in masculine vs feminine labels. Of course other people may see the benefit, and if that works for them then that is great.

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by newsbone

What else then is strength? From animals to humans the female is always inferior

Ummm. Not to be rude, but I think you just committed a gross exposure of your ignorance.

Female black widows are larger than male ones and frequently eat the male ones .... Lionesses are far more effective hunters than lions ..... The leader of an elephant herd is always a female, not a male .... A pack of wolves is led equally by the alpha male AND the alpha female acting as equal partners .... As for snakes, in the majority of species, it's the female that tends to be bigger .....

Need I go on?

[Nasir]

Originally Posted by newsbone

What else then is strength? From animals to humans the female is always inferior; in everything we always have the advantage. Sports, education, etc.

Both genders have advantages and disadvantages; however, the person who trains harder in a given area will be the dominate individual, regardless of gender.

[Andrew Gubb]

Originally Posted by Stealth

I've read David Dieda's book, The Way of the Superior Man, and my first and last relationship of one month has got me thinking that I'm more of a feminine man than a masculine one, but other things get me thinking that I'm a masculine man. and then sometimes I'm not sure and I think I'm balanced. How can I substantially tell which one I am?

Well you cycle between the energies. Perhaps you are over expressing one energy or underexpressing the other because of ego or unrealness... which would mean you'd need to work through those blocks.

A good question might be, what have you enjoyed more, battles or relationships, when you were healthy and happy in yourself?

Do you feel energised or relaxed by the women you relate with sexually?

Everyone has masculine and feminine. But, deep down, what drives you? What makes you more satisfied? To melt with gooey-heartedness at a cute kid or to break through an opponent's defenses and roar in victory? What would you like to base your life around? Or would you enjoy an equal amount of both of these peak experiences?

[spirit4711]

Originally Posted by newsbone

...
Feminine man is a sign of weakness in your higher position of strength.

You're stepping on some feminine male toes here, buddy. Be careful.

Originally Posted by newsbone

What else then is strength? From animals to humans the female is always inferior; in everything we always have the advantage. Sports, education, etc.

Females inferior? Males superior? Under what stone did you crawl from?

Read up on some biology. There's an interesting theory that the Y chromosome is actually a defective (read: weak) X chromosome.

In many societies women live longer than men.

Look at human society. Who has the power (and therefore is stronger)?

- Men earn on average more money than women. But who gets to spend it? In many relationships it's the woman.
- Men on average want more sex than women. Who is controlling the supply of sex?
- In many relationships women are working on changing their men. Not the other way around.

Etc.

[Dharma]

So women are using their 'no' more than men. Men are not wholeheartedly in their 'yes', so lets say the masculine says 'maybe' to life and the feminine says 'no'.

'maybe' trumps 'no' all the time.

Men are seen as stronger, more affluent, and holding higher positions of power. That's cuz we all say yes to our inner masculine and no to our inner feminine. Wanna see change? Start courting the feminine inside you and say yes to it.

To the OP: it's better not to focus on being one or the other. It's a flow and to be able to flow from one to the other with ease is a good skill to have. One of the problems we have in life is defining ourselves with concepts.

[AfteraDream]

I read the book and loved it. I too saw some feminine qualities in myself.. I didn't like that but basically, I was that way because I was lost. Searching for myself, wondering what it is to be a man... Looking for my purpose. Once I found myself or rather made a choice on most important things in life like values I no longer doubt what I am. Maybe your situation is the same?

Hope this gives some food for thought to ya

[pianoperformer]

Originally Posted by newsbone

Are you strong or are you weak? I thank God am not in your position! Female is female and male is male. Feminine man is a sign of weakness in your higher position of strength.

Misogynist much?

[MidasGirl]

When people start studying up on this masculine/feminine concept they often misunderstand it as a concept that pits one against the other. This is about masculine/feminine energy, not about male/female labels. Masculine energy is not better (or stronger) than feminine energy. Everyone, and that is everyone, has both feminine and masculine energies. It all depends on how you balance them out to have effective interactions and relationships.

For example, when a man holds his woman tenderly and gives her a foot massage when she's for example grieving, he's exercising his feminine energy. Same thing when he sincerely gives her beautiful flowers. When a woman protects her family against harm, she's exercising her masculine energy. etc etc.

When you have someone like newsbone proclaiming men are superior to women, that's what ends up causing women to become defensive and take on excess masculine energy to prove themselves. While in reality there is nothing to prove, feminine energy is very very strong and powerful. Just don't be a jerk to your woman cuz, if she's not confident in her feminine energy, she'll end up trying to be a jerk just like you, which is a cause of lots of conflicts (masculine/masculine energy conflict).

To the OP, are you happy with the results you've been getting in your life so far? If you are, then what do you care? Consider that there is a percentage of men (and no not necessarily gay men) that are more balanced when they are in their feminine energy. I think even Deida explains that these men will tend to hook up with women that have a more masculine energy output.

[Black Spring]

Originally Posted by Manomanman

Stop thinking in binaries.

Second this.
You just are what you believe you are. Don't use titles.

[newsbone]

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Ummm. Not to be rude, but I think you just committed a gross exposure of your ignorance.?

Okay let us see!

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

.
Female black widows are larger than male ones and frequently eat the male ones ....

Never thought size was a measure of superiority! When it comes down to that they are very superior.

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Lionesses are far more effective hunters than lions ....?

And then steps a side for the male to eat all the sweet and soft parts, why should I hunt when someone can do it for me?

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

A pack of wolves is led equally by the alpha male AND the alpha female acting as equal partners.....

They can not do it alone!

Originally Posted by Acting Like Godot

Ummm. Not to be rude, but I think you just committed a gross exposure of your ignorance.

.... As for snakes, in the majority of species, it's the female that tends to be bigger .....
Need I go on?

Size does not count it is what you do with it counts. mmmh; please do continue!

[Angela]

Originally Posted by Stealth

How can I substantially tell which one I am?

What is the purpose of knowing which one you are?

[newsbone]

Originally Posted by spirit4711

You're stepping on some feminine male toes here, buddy. Be careful. .

Ooops!

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Females inferior? Males superior? Under what stone did you crawl from?
.

Olduvai Gorge to be precise!

Originally Posted by spirit4711

Read up on some biology. There's an interesting theory that the Y chromosome is actually a defective (read: weak) X chromosome..

Is that how far one needs to move so as to find where the females are said to be stronger? Let us try and look at the obvious.

Originally Posted by spirit4711

- Men earn on average more money than women. But who gets to spend it? In many relationships it's the woman..

Yes! The bane of superiority- women and wine.(read pleasure).

Originally Posted by spirit4711

- Men on average want more sex than women. Who is controlling the supply of sex?
.

The only weapon at their disposal which they use to a very great effect to control, but not to take over our right as the stronger sex.

Originally Posted by spirit4711

- In many relationships women are working on changing their men. Not the other way around. Etc.

Thus the rise of the so called feminine males!

[spirit4711]

@Newsbone, how does your partner feel about you being superior and she being inferior? Did you tell her BTW?

[Indiana]

Originally Posted by newsbone

Okay let us see!


Never thought size was a measure of superiority! When it comes down to that they are very superior.



And then steps a side for the male to eat all the sweet and soft parts, why should I hunt when someone can do it for me?



They can not do it alone!



Size does not count it is what you do with it counts. mmmh; please do continue!

Ha ha. I believe the quality of this argument fits the definition of irony.

[munish]

You may check out this video to know more about human behaviour.

Introduction to Seductive Reasoning 101

[newsbone]

Originally Posted by Indiana

Ha ha. I believe the quality of this argument fits the definition of irony.

So is the idea of feminine males!

[Acting Like Godot]

Originally Posted by newsbone

Okay let us see!


Never thought size was a measure of superiority! When it comes down to that they are very superior.



And then steps a side for the male to eat all the sweet and soft parts, why should I hunt when someone can do it for me?



They can not do it alone!



Size does not count it is what you do with it counts. mmmh; please do continue!

The quality of the above argument makes me somewhat embarrassed to be a man.

If Newsbone is anything to go by, clearly men cannot claim to have an intellectual advantage over women.