How do i know if pick up is for me?

[MattKing]

Hey guys,

i started looking at pick up material about a year and half ago now. I came across a seduction forum and found it to be helpful. I tried out what i'd learnt within a couple of months of finding the site and carried on approaching for a good few months but didn't make much progress(few phone numbers and saw about two girls over 6months or so).

Over the last 6 months or so i've been distracted and have been focusing more on my passion (performing music) which i am aiming to make a career out of.

The problem is i haven't been balancing my life out and i really want to have healthy (sexual and eventually long term) relationships. I'm turning 18 soon and am still a virgin (i'm not fussed about that tbh) and want to have fun and an amazing social life when i go to uni.

I really don't care about this for the ego, for what my peers think or just to lose my virginity, i want to do it for the fun side of it and to have some great experiences with the opposite sex. Some of the best times in my life have been when i've been seeing a girl and we're both in to each other, I'm sure you all have your stories and experiences as well =).

Anyway, the main question is, is there any form of pick up/guru which is more based on personality but still layed out like the step by step way the mystery method is?. Or should i just follow the mystery method and let my personality show through at the same time? Or if you can't answer any of these and have been down this line yourself, what worked for you?

Any advice is appreciated and sorry for the long post

Thanks again

[nocturne]

if by pick up you mean interacting with women and taking a romantic and/or sexual interest in them, its for you if you are a straight male. its something that existed before these companies started up.

as for how do you know which one of the companies out there has a style that would work for you, the answer is that you should try them and find whichever one suits you best.

you can google for different companies but honestly let me just give you a simple structure

1. approach
2. banter (playful conversation)
3. deeper conversation
4. show interest/get the contact

show your own personality. Just figure out what words and style comes naturally to you.

The mystery method is basically a more complicated structure of exactly what I just told you, adjusted to mystery's own personality. What I just told you is just the flow of any social interactoin. You walk over, you say hello, you banter, you have deeper conversation, and if you are interested in setting something up with the person again you do so. It's not an exact science its an art that you can do almost any way you want.

My suggestion is to step over, talk to the girl, put your best impression forward that you could at the time, and then if she is friendly ask her out / get the contact information. Set up another meeting. Putting your best foot foward, and then letting the girl decide if she wants to get with you or not is basically all you can do.

[MattKing]

Originally Posted by nocturne

if by pick up you mean interacting with women and taking a romantic and/or sexual interest in them, its for you if you are a straight male. its something that existed before these companies started up.

as for how do you know which one of the companies out there has a style that would work for you, the answer is that you should try them and find whichever one suits you best.

you can google for different companies but honestly let me just give you a simple structure

1. approach
2. banter (playful conversation)
3. deeper conversation
4. show interest/get the contact

show your own personality. Just figure out what words and style comes naturally to you.

The mystery method is basically a more complicated structure of exactly what I just told you, adjusted to mystery's own personality. What I just told you is just the flow of any social interactoin. You walk over, you say hello, you banter, you have deeper conversation, and if you are interested in setting something up with the person again you do so. It's not an exact science its an art that you can do almost any way you want.

My suggestion is to step over, talk to the girl, put your best impression forward that you could at the time, and then if she is friendly ask her out / get the contact information. Set up another meeting. Putting your best foot foward, and then letting the girl decide if she wants to get with you or not is basically all you can do.

Cool thanks very much =)

I guess what i'm after is step by step so i can get it right and get an oppurtunity to show my personality. I know mystery method is adjusted to his own style but i'm going to give it a go and be a little more "human" no disrespect but i'm not a social retard . I guess what you wrote would be great for parties but when i turn 18 it's going to be a bit tricky to do that in a nightclub

Thanks again

[Halffull]

If you're interested in just getting a girlfriend, better to go from social circle or school instead of wasting your time learning to cold approach.

I'll get blasted by the PUA's on this forum for saying that, but it's the truth.

Use the pickup material to learn to attract girls and ****, but don't worry about most of the **** on pulling, approaching, and other inconsequential things to what you're looking for.

[James81]

This is the greatest (and free, I might add ) book I've ever read about dealing with women:

http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/Downloa...0of%20Pook.pdf

Not only is it tailored to how to improve your dating life, but it's also useful for other areas of your life, about being a man (in an age where that is quickly being redefined by feminism), and creating your own life. The book pretty much changed the way I looked at relationships and women, and inspired me to become more than I was when I read it.

[nocturne]

a good analogy is art.
the world is 3d. paintings are 2d.
two people could paint the same thing but you could get different results.
Mystery goes out, figures out how dating works, then writes a book about it.
Books, like paintings are two dimensional.
That is why you can go out, figure out how dating works, and it will have similarities with mystery but it will be a style all your own.

Now two people will recall exactly the same event or making the same painting, even if they are standing in the same spot. But if you learn Mystery method you are learning how HE perceives dating. You are seeing dating through his eyes instead of your own.

I mean honestly thinking A1, b2, C3 is not my style. If it works for you then go for it.

you can pretty much go out there and figure out the steps yourself, its not that complicated. You approach, then you talk, then you decide what you want to do from there. Of course the variety of things to do in a conversation is infinite.

no one can tell you what your style is or what works for you. Try just going out there and experimenting, and seeing it through your own eyes and not MM.

Personally I've heard of mystery method.. and i'm not mystery. So while a lot of things he says is true, i'm going to do things my style. A lot of guys get caught up in modeling mystery (cause it does work i admit) but the thing is you don't have to model mystery anymore than you have to model rembrandt to be a good painter. There are a million ways to paint or talk to women.

[Tenn]

I think most pickup gurus or systems work. I myself took a Love Systems (they used to be called the Mystery Method) bootcamp not too long ago. A big part of the program is tailored pickup advice. Since I'm in my mid 20s, I got different advice than some of the others who were in their 30s or 40s.

Yes you will learn some conversational scripts and topics to learn to talk to women, but the great thing is that you can use whatever you really want to use. Hence your personality is coming thru that way. Also I learned how to use my own identity and background information in stories where my personality comes through. That's where really the juice comes from; your own stories that you learned how to effectively craft.

[Plato]

You try it?

[UnleashReality]

The fact that you're posting about it means that it's for you.

if you're not happy with your life or get reactive or needy or don't have your ideal girlfriend - any of these - then you should check it out.

pickup isn't just about improving skills with girls, it's about improving who you are as a MAN.

alex
unleash reality

[galvanized]

Hey, I'd recommend the guys at Charisma Arts (Wayne 'Juggler' Elise's Charisma Arts) who teach the "Juggler Method".

It's pretty boring and not really mind blowing, but it'll give you consistent results in terms of attracting the opposite sex and being good with people in general. In essence, you'll learn to be a great conversationalist and be "charismatic" through this method.

While there is no "method" per se, I'd recommend Zan Perrion.

He is a proponent of cultivating the mindset and belief in oneself. He's more for inner game (mindset, mentality, outlook on relationships) and body language rather than relying on outer game (methods)

[Andrew Brunelle]

Does it feel intuitively right to you? If you feel that it is all right and a positive thing for you to try, go ahead and try it. And if you find out it's not for you, nobody's got a gun to your head to keep doing it.

I have a small problem with it in the sense that it objectifies women into something to conquer. It also makes men seem so much more superior than women, that our superior abilities can get a woman to go sleep with us at the drop of a hat, as long as we apply certain techniques.

But I'm not here to judge anyone because what works for you and what you want to do is your choice and if you enjoy it and the women enjoy it, then what's the harm?

[Cameron Teone]

Matt King wrote:

Hey guys,

i started looking at pick up material about a year and half ago now. I came across a seduction forum and found it to be helpful. I tried out what i'd learnt within a couple of months of finding the site and carried on approaching for a good few months but didn't make much progress(few phone numbers and saw about two girls over 6months or so).

Over the last 6 months or so i've been distracted and have been focusing more on my passion (performing music) which i am aiming to make a career out of.

The problem is i haven't been balancing my life out and i really want to have healthy (sexual and eventually long term) relationships. I'm turning 18 soon and am still a virgin (i'm not fussed about that tbh) and want to have fun and an amazing social life when i go to uni.

I really don't care about this for the ego, for what my peers think or just to lose my virginity, i want to do it for the fun side of it and to have some great experiences with the opposite sex. Some of the best times in my life have been when i've been seeing a girl and we're both in to each other, I'm sure you all have your stories and experiences as well =).

Anyway, the main question is, is there any form of pick up/guru which is more based on personality but still layed out like the step by step way the mystery method is?. Or should i just follow the mystery method and let my personality show through at the same time? Or if you can't answer any of these and have been down this line yourself, what worked for you?

Any advice is appreciated and sorry for the long post

Thanks again

Hey Matt,

If you want to learn pick up, then it'd help if you started with a clear goal in mind. You may want a girlfriend, you may want to date a few girls, or maybe you want to get laid. That's not for me to judge.

The best way to go about this is effectively build your confidence and self esteem AS WELL AS learning social skills, how to flirt, talk to girls, have fun with them, (and developing some social intelligence.)

If you strip it all down to its bare essential components, then we are talking about 3 things. Here is an article that explain the basic 3 components in detail:

What Game Really Is!! | Attract Women Anywhere

Now, as far as learning methods about seduction and becoming entangled in the "Seduction Community," there are some potential pitfalls. It could potentially make you:

-An External Validation seeking individual, (someone who cruises nightclubs/bars looking to get validation through how many girls he can pick up.)

-Sex addict

-misogynist (someone who dislikes women)

I've been around this stuff since 2001 or so. I am not going to put any particular "Dating guru" down specifically, but be aware of the fact that there are drawbacks to it.

The above 3 things are likely to happen if "Pick up" consumes your life and that happens to a lot of people. Why? Because they become engulfed in shallow values. So if you're giving any method a go, then understand that you've been forewarned ;-)

If you're getting heavily involved with that sort of thing at 18, it could ♥♥♥♥♥ up your life for a while....

take care
Cameron

[Alexjstrandberg]

you play music, your social and sexual life will not be a problem.

Learning Guitar to Get Laid - CollegeHumor Video

[MillenniumMike]

Becareful focus on inner game and it will help you immensely if you however become focused on a making a false persona of yourself can make you an incongruent person and in turn unhappy.

[Autumnasides]

I've been around the block with the pua peeps. Mystery Method got me started, but always rang false for me. Integrity is super important to me, so whilelines and routines got me some success with women, it didnt move me to a place of self esteem and authenticity, so all my success felt empty. Thats not a judgement against MM though - it taught me a lot and, for me, was a very useful set of training wheels.

Real Social Dynamics (RSD) is a "full natural" company - they focus on principles versus lines and tactics. They focus on things like State, Polarity, and Core Confidence. Much love to all the other PUA companies, but these guys are the real deal for me.

ideaGASMS is another "natural" company super focused on integrity and authenticity. Plus they're very, very into spirituality, chakras, enlightenment, and such, so they have a super interesting perspective on everything.

Sort of the middle ground between tactics/lines/etc and natural game is Neil Strauss's (Style, author of the Game and the Apostle Paul to the pickup arts) school called StyleLife.

Those are the three schools I've had great experiences with. And again, much love to ALL the other pickup schools for bringing their unique perspectives to the table.

[dr house]

Pickup is for everyone. Everyone needs to learn how to talk to other people and become the best person you can be for yourself as well as to shine for others.

You don't need a step by step structure. You know how you want things to go in your head you have imagined it. Thats how it can be if you have the confidence to try it out.

Instead of trying to do what everyone else says. Try what you imagined in your head. Try walking up to a woman and saying "you are the most beautiful girl I have seen all night and would of regretted not coming to speak to you".

Say how you feel about her in that moment. Don't be afraid to say anything because you'll find that you can say anything if its coming from your core self.

[Cameron Teone]

Autumnasided,

The two schools you listed have nothing to do with Natural Game, and one of them is run by one individual who is very disturbed, who has brought a lot of harm to people in his life.

My point: Be careful who you recommend on these boards to people.

[funchy]

Just say no. Much of that stuff isn't self-help. It's manipulation, "games", using women, and deception. It teaches a mindset of trickery and lies, and if you buy into it, you start believing women must also be this sneaky.

Here is the flaw in the logic: guys get into it because they don't have the confidence to approach women on their own. So the guy perfect the act and plays his role perfectly -- and the girls talk to him. But no matter how many women he meets, it's the ACT not the real man that they're responding to.

And as a female myself: I can spot the act a mile away. I may play along and smile and think it's cute, but I've never let a guy who is "running game" go home with me. I don't have time for fake people. "Players" are the reason why so many of us women avoid talking to strangers or give out real phone numbers in the first place.

[nocturne]

Originally Posted by funchy

Just say no. Much of that stuff isn't self-help. It's manipulation, "games", using women, and deception. It teaches a mindset of trickery and lies, and if you buy into it, you start believing women must also be this sneaky.

Here is the flaw in the logic: guys get into it because they don't have the confidence to approach women on their own. So the guy perfect the act and plays his role perfectly -- and the girls talk to him. But no matter how many women he meets, it's the ACT not the real man that they're responding to.

And as a female myself: I can spot the act a mile away. I may play along and smile and think it's cute, but I've never let a guy who is "running game" go home with me. I don't have time for fake people. "Players" are the reason why so many of us women avoid talking to strangers or give out real phone numbers in the first place.

Funchy, that's partially true. As I said, the Pick up community has a variety of styles. Some of them are on the dark side, some of them are not. I wouldn't' reject the entire community altogether, the same way I wouldn't say all people of X race are bad.

I mean i could totally master karate and go beat up an entire block of innocent men women and children, but typically people who learn karate are not out there to harm people. Though some are on that dark side. Most people learn it just to improve self defense, as most people just learn pick up to improve their chances of meeting someone.

As for learning to present yourself in a confident way, that can be learned, but not faked. Real confidence can not be faked, that's true.

You should check out mode one by alan roger currie. The whole thing is about being 100% honest and upfront about what you want from a woman whether it is romance, sex, friendship, etc.

[TonyToneTone]

Originally Posted by MattKing

Hey guys,

i started looking at pick up material about a year and half ago now. I came across a seduction forum and found it to be helpful. I tried out what i'd learnt within a couple of months of finding the site and carried on approaching for a good few months but didn't make much progress(few phone numbers and saw about two girls over 6months or so).

Over the last 6 months or so i've been distracted and have been focusing more on my passion (performing music) which i am aiming to make a career out of.

The problem is i haven't been balancing my life out and i really want to have healthy (sexual and eventually long term) relationships. I'm turning 18 soon and am still a virgin (i'm not fussed about that tbh) and want to have fun and an amazing social life when i go to uni.

I really don't care about this for the ego, for what my peers think or just to lose my virginity, i want to do it for the fun side of it and to have some great experiences with the opposite sex. Some of the best times in my life have been when i've been seeing a girl and we're both in to each other, I'm sure you all have your stories and experiences as well =).

Anyway, the main question is, is there any form of pick up/guru which is more based on personality but still layed out like the step by step way the mystery method is?. Or should i just follow the mystery method and let my personality show through at the same time? Or if you can't answer any of these and have been down this line yourself, what worked for you?

Any advice is appreciated and sorry for the long post

Thanks again

I've been doing this for a while now so I hope I can help.

First, do you have any friends that are good with women? Like really good? Start hanging around them and seeing what they do. Modeling their behavior should help. Also, they'll be able to send your way their girlfriends' friends.

Second, what would a balanced life look like for you? A bunch of women, a solid girlfriend, a solid girlfriend and a bunch of women? When you know what you want, it'll be MUCH easier to find it.

Third, what kind of system do you have in place? When I was 16-19 the system for my friends and I was to go to clubs in Tijuana, Mexico and game the women there. What are you doing to meet them?

Are you in college or high school? I can recommend some material to you.