silly relationship question

[roney]

so im in a situation that im not sure how to deal with and just hoping with some input.

there's a guy in my class that has liked me for the past year. at first, i didnt like him and just avoided him (mainly because im very shy and introverted). after several months i started to become more interested but on one occasion, when we were both drunk, i ended up saying some stupid things and things ended up kinda heated. after this things became more awkward but we still talked a bit once in awhile. and as time went by i was beginning to like him more and more. a few months later, he approached me at a party and asked me if i liked him but i failed to give him a proper reply. and after that things are going nowhere as we are both very quiet and introverted ppl and, although we both like each other, neither of us knows what step to take. even if i try and initiate a conversation its always very short and formal. basically, theres just a lot of awkwardness and im afraid that its just been so long and nothing has happened and that it might just be too late. talking to him just doesnt seem to be an option... partially due to how introverted we are and also somewhat due to our over-sized egos. neither of us wants to be the first one to admit that we like the other :S but mainly its just shyness. how do i deal with this? wait for the next drunken opportunity to talk to him?

[RT Wolf]

Screw up the courage and just tell him any way you can. Tell him by text or email if that's easier than in person. Or tell someone you both know to tell him that you like him. Add him as a bf on facebook and send him the invite. It may be a bit of stretch for you to do it, but it's worth it. Otherwise you could spend the next two years awkwardly not being with each other.

I don't really get it, you like him, so I'd imagine you wanna spend more time with him? Why not start as soon as possible? Stop getting in your own way.

[Yellow]

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

Screw up the courage and just tell him any way you can. Tell him by text or email if that's easier than in person. Or tell someone you both know to tell him that you like him. Add him as a bf on facebook and send him the invite. It may be a bit of stretch for you to do it, but it's worth it. Otherwise you could spend the next two years awkwardly not being with each other.

I don't really get it, you like him, so I'd imagine you wanna spend more time with him? Why not start as soon as possible? Stop getting in your own way.

^Yeah! (at the bolded part)
But not the facebook thing. That is creepy. It is almost like getting into someone else's space. I was creeped out when a guy once did that to me. (NOW I know why he might have - Lol, thanks, RT Wolf).

Just tell him you like him; send an email, ask a friend, write a note, anything. You are not doing yourself any favour being in this position. This is actually working against you to be sitting there and wondering and basically wasting your time. You don't know if he is interested or not and you won't know until you DO something about it. If he doesn't seem to be interested anymore, you will get over it. It will hurt a bit, but you won't be wasting so much time anymore. And if he does, it will be a great learning experience and maybe a great relationship. Why hold it from yourself?

[SimonaRich]

If you cannot say anything to him that would make him understand what feelings you hold towards him, you can at least send him a message saying that. Because if he tried to ask you whether you liked him and you failed to answer it, he might be too discouraged to try this again.

[roney]

Thanks for the replies guys

Its just after the confrontation we had several months ago, we completely stopped speaking to each other. We still like each other but its just that approaching one another is much more difficult now. We speak a bit now but its harder to try and become friends and get to know each other after that, especially with added awkwardness due to us both being shy and attracted to each other.

[nocturne]

Originally Posted by roney

Thanks for the replies guys

Its just after the confrontation we had several months ago, we completely stopped speaking to each other. We still like each other but its just that approaching one another is much more difficult now. We speak a bit now but its harder to try and become friends and get to know each other after that, especially with added awkwardness due to us both being shy and attracted to each other.

I am sorry you feel this way. I am a little older and I realize something.

life is too short to be shy. you and I will die like just like mozart, napoleon, and lincoln.

Shyness is a label. You can choose to say "certain situations are a challenge for me but I will confront them" or you can choose to say "this one thing is indicative how I am in all situations. Therefore I am shy". The difference is that you take one problem and you turn it into a systematic, widespread defect about yourself. And that is certainly not true. There are many situations where you are not shy, is there?

No stereotypical asian ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, just some real advice: Often, one must not conquer an enemy, but one must merely get out of their own way.

In other words, you are setting up the situation in your head to be SO difficult as to be impossible. Walking up to him and saying a few words is not harder than walking up to any person and saying something.

In other words, be realistic about how difficult it is; the action itself is quite easy. The challenge is handling the response. If both of you are not ready it will not happen. But it could happen.

But regardless of what happens; the chances of you surviving a negative or positive response is no worse than just the dangers of driving to school or work.

shyness, is putting a stumbling block in front of yourself so you could stumble over it. I am not making fun of you, i've been there. all you need to do is slow down. Take the block. Set it aside. move forward.

[Manomanman]

You have the upper hand. He won't face rejection by telling you how he feels, because he knows you'll reject him if he does. If you approach him, he probably won't reject you.

Ugh, I see this pattern a lot....

[Angela]

Throw a fabulous party. Invite him. Also invite lots of other attractive and interesting people. Wear something that makes you feel magnetic. Serve incredibly delicious food. Have a fun theme, like time travel, and ask people to dress up like their favorite decade.

Organize a game where you break everyone up into groups of 4 or 6 -- when they arrive, have them pick from a special deck of cards you have made, each bearing an image of something that fits into the theme of your party, and then ask them to find their group of other people who got the same image. On the cards, on the other side of the image, you give each group a task, like: "You have time travelled to the 1960's and one of your group is having a bad acid trip and the rest of you are helping her get through it" or "You have time travelled to the 80's and you are making a video for MTV about the future." Each group will prepare a skit and act it out. Be sure to have someone handy with a video camera.

It helps if you provide jello shooters to lubricate your party-goers.

Naturally, somehow you manage to be on the same team as Mr. Paralyzo, that goes without saying, right?

[Pequod]

Originally Posted by Angela

Throw a fabulous party. Invite him. Also invite lots of other attractive and interesting people. Wear something that makes you feel magnetic. Serve incredibly delicious food. Have a fun theme, like time travel, and ask people to dress up like their favorite decade.

Organize a game where you break everyone up into groups of 4 or 6 -- when they arrive, have them pick from a special deck of cards you have made, each bearing an image of something that fits into the theme of your party, and then ask them to find their group of other people who got the same image. On the cards, on the other side of the image, you give each group a task, like: "You have time travelled to the 1960's and one of your group is having a bad acid trip and the rest of you are helping her get through it" or "You have time travelled to the 80's and you are making a video for MTV about the future." Each group will prepare a skit and act it out. Be sure to have someone handy with a video camera.

It helps if you provide jello shooters to lubricate your party-goers.

Naturally, somehow you manage to be on the same team as Mr. Paralyzo, that goes without saying, right?

What a brilliant plan! I want to spice my birthday party this summer and you gave me just the perfect idea.

[Angela]

Great! The party I threw is now legendary, and the video of the skits was priceless. I also hired a wandering tarot reader, and she was EXTREMELY in demand and entertaining.