Closed of to love...?

[Sanity Panda]

In an attempt to understand myself better. Thought I'd post here to see if anybody has been through the same position.

So I'm starting to come to the conclusion that I might be completely shut off to the idea of love. First I thought that it was just a case of not being interested in having a girlfriend or that I just hadn't found somebody that I clicked with well enough. Whenever I meet new people... I don't really bother think about whether there's a possability of being together. I'd just want to get to know them as friends first and act as friends.

Today someone asked me: Do you want a girlfriend? I couldn't answer that. I don't know.

I used to want to be around somebody, however that's gone now. I wonder whether this has just resulted me in closing up and believing that I can't be in a relationship.
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Additional information: More clarity

I might have set up walls and buffered myself from strong emotions to avoid being disappointed too much. I can see how this manifests itself in different ways in my life. For example: When I got rejected from my current university, there was just a sense of sadness and helplessness rather than bursting into tears. This situation means that I might not be able to live with my friends the following year.

I told one of them: It's strange how calm and detached I seem to be with all of this.

Part of me does think "Meh. After all this, I'm just never going to see them ever again." even though I wouldn't describe myself as being that close. It did feel pointless making friends, only to disappear.

[TaylorLord]

Hey panda, millions of people have been in your certain situation, In fact i have myself ! Its sucks but its completely normal don't worry. The main thing you need to right now is work on is discovering yourself. I know that sounds cheesy but its really the best thing you can do. The reason why you want to focus on yourself right now is because in order to give love and receive love you have to be happy with yourself. Remember there is no certain time frame you have to do anything, its all up to you so feel free and turn that pressure way down.

Perhaps you have friends or some other influences that are pestering you with negativity about you needing a girlfriend. You dont need a girlfriend, you should want one when YOU want one! If this is true try to limit contact with these friends or explain your situation with them. If they are your true friends they will understand.

Another reason why you want time for just you is because you may need some time to heal. You might have even been through some crummy past relationships and you feel that all potential love will turn out like that. This is a lie, you are not doomed to walk this planet alone enless by choice.

Its a fact, if you have been mentally or physically hurt in a relationship you will naturally put up a mental wall on your heart. This mental wall can even block you from feeling love. I see it as a protection mechanism like an airbag. It deploys right after an incident just in case so you cant receive any further injuries(future relationships).

If this is the case the only beneficial thing you can do is FORGIVE these people. Even if it was their fault or yours, just make the first move and forgive them. This step takes guts but it will dramatically change the way you feel about love and relationships altogether and will tear the wall in half. Mending bad relationships can end them on a good note, so now you can finally close that chapter in your life and keep looking ahead!

You may not be ready to do this yet but the time will come after your wounds have healed you will know what to do. Take a moment and breathe, rember you are not alone and just flat out enjoy yourself! Regain a love for yourself again so in hand you can start receiving some too!

Another thing i cant stress enough is to read Steve's blog posts/podcast's:

stevepavlinacom-podcast-022-loving-relationships
and
Initiating Relationships with Openness, Honesty, and Directness

[TonyToneTone]

Wanting or not wanting to be in a relationship has nothing to do with being closed to love. At least once a week I change my mind about that very subject And there are TONS of people out there in a similar situation.

You can be loving and loved without having a girlfriend. One has nothing to do with the other. There are people who are in relationships that are unfortunately mean and hateful.

Go out and have fun. Start loving yourself and you will attract all the love you need.