Relationships in a foreign country

[Veronika]

I am originally born in europe and moved to India 8 years ago. At first i was so excited because the whole thing also had a tremendous spiritual purpose for me. many foreigners also live here. My husband is indian. my full family was against me moving to india, but i only 19 than didnt listen to anyone i thought i found my own place on earth where i will stay for the rest of my life and live happily ever after,but life doesnt work that way as most of you probably know. at first i was a normal happy person. i thought i would really like to have a child so i became pregnant. this was the time when all my problems started. i started feeling very bad about everything and also didnt want to give birth in india because i was scared also about the scarce medical facilities,what is now better by the way. so i went back to my country for a full 10 months. after i returned to india again where i slowly but surely turned into a recluse and outsider. i dint know many people here and i also dont have any friends. i feel alltime like the people really dont like to accept me here and treat me with respect. that is bothering me very much and in this meantime of 8 years i developed to one very shy, depressed very sad person. i think a lot about going back to my birth country, but there is also nothing for me there now. sometimes i feel like a cloud in the wind someone without a real home and without any groundedness at all. that makes me weird in my head and im so disappointed in my self that i cant handle my life any better. please help me with any advice that you may have