Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

trthskr · 03-22-2009, 11:25 PM

Ladies, I could really use your help and insight! I am 34 and haven't been in a relationship in over 3 years. I've been on this path of personal development for the past 4 1/2 years and have been not only trying to improve myself but, as anyone who is on the personal growth can attest to, one inevitably runs into different challenges that pop up. Things about yourself that you discover that you need to confront and overcome.

I discovered for myself that I have alot of energy in my head and that I am not really well connected in my body. It's probably because I can be very analytical and spend alot of time in my head just observing things rather then playing full out and being an active participant in life. I think that's due to being introverted, shy and afraid of being judged by others. I know...I am trapped in ego. :-/

Anyway, a friend of mine suggested that in order to get out of this head space and to get better connected to my body I should go out on a date with a different woman every single day, like just for coffee. He said that I should learn more about woman, what makes them tick, what turns them on but to not get physical at all, just learn about them and get more confortable being around them. In essence learn how to connect with women but how do I do that? Can you ladies on here give me some suggestions?!

Angela · 03-22-2009, 11:51 PM

Why not get connected to women AND to your body, and sign up for dance lessons? Something sexy like salsa or tango, or maybe go for broke with ballet (you'll be surrounded by women) and really get some rapport with your body.

Pilates is another way to go -- lots of women, and very personal-development.

What does your friend have against physical connection? Does he think it will distract you from emotional connection?

trthskr · 03-23-2009, 12:06 AM

Yeah, my friend suggested taking tango lessons.

How is pilates related to personal development?

He doesn't want me to get physical because I am suffering from ED and he thinks one of the reasons is because I spend way too much time in my head and not connecting with my body. Also party of it maybe related to the fact that I don't relate to women on a more intimate level so that's why he wants me to get to know them better.

rose A · 03-23-2009, 01:09 AM

Sounds like a good idea to me. Put out a personal ad that you would like to meet up with woman for friendship and activities. Do some things with the woman that you enjoy, even if it is sitting around having coffee in a park or a coffee shop discussing different topics of interests or philosophies. You will discover what type of personality of woman that you like to be around and you will build some friendships along the way and then who knows what will develop from there. You will probably continue to learn more about what still needs tweaking about yourself also. Just treat us with respect and be yourself. Just forcing yourself to do this will help you overcome your hurdle of being shy. Try and relax and enjoy yourself.

dice · 03-23-2009, 06:34 AM

Ballet! Guys who are secure enough to take ballet or any traditionally 'feminine' thing have my undying respect.

03-22-2009, 11:25 PM	#1 (permalink)
trthskr Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago Posts: 44	Ladies, I need your help! How do I connect? Ladies, I could really use your help and insight! I am 34 and haven't been in a relationship in over 3 years. I've been on this path of personal development for the past 4 1/2 years and have been not only trying to improve myself but, as anyone who is on the personal growth can attest to, one inevitably runs into different challenges that pop up. Things about yourself that you discover that you need to confront and overcome. I discovered for myself that I have alot of energy in my head and that I am not really well connected in my body. It's probably because I can be very analytical and spend alot of time in my head just observing things rather then playing full out and being an active participant in life. I think that's due to being introverted, shy and afraid of being judged by others. I know...I am trapped in ego. :-/ Anyway, a friend of mine suggested that in order to get out of this head space and to get better connected to my body I should go out on a date with a different woman every single day, like just for coffee. He said that I should learn more about woman, what makes them tick, what turns them on but to not get physical at all, just learn about them and get more confortable being around them. In essence learn how to connect with women but how do I do that? Can you ladies on here give me some suggestions?!

03-23-2009, 01:09 AM	#4 (permalink)
rose A Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 234	female friends Sounds like a good idea to me. Put out a personal ad that you would like to meet up with woman for friendship and activities. Do some things with the woman that you enjoy, even if it is sitting around having coffee in a park or a coffee shop discussing different topics of interests or philosophies. You will discover what type of personality of woman that you like to be around and you will build some friendships along the way and then who knows what will develop from there. You will probably continue to learn more about what still needs tweaking about yourself also. Just treat us with respect and be yourself. Just forcing yourself to do this will help you overcome your hurdle of being shy. Try and relax and enjoy yourself.

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03-22-2009, 11:51 PM	#2 (permalink)
Angela Banned Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 22,520	Why not get connected to women AND to your body, and sign up for dance lessons? Something sexy like salsa or tango, or maybe go for broke with ballet (you'll be surrounded by women) and really get some rapport with your body. Pilates is another way to go -- lots of women, and very personal-development. What does your friend have against physical connection? Does he think it will distract you from emotional connection?

03-23-2009, 12:06 AM	#3 (permalink)
trthskr Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Chicago Posts: 44	Yeah, my friend suggested taking tango lessons. How is pilates related to personal development? He doesn't want me to get physical because I am suffering from ED and he thinks one of the reasons is because I spend way too much time in my head and not connecting with my body. Also party of it maybe related to the fact that I don't relate to women on a more intimate level so that's why he wants me to get to know them better.

03-23-2009, 06:34 AM	#5 (permalink)
dice Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 435	Ballet! Guys who are secure enough to take ballet or any traditionally 'feminine' thing have my undying respect.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums