Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums

Pequod · 03-17-2009, 11:59 AM

I'd like to be more fluent in social interactions by having better humor skills that I can use in day-to-day conversations with friends, collegues etc.

Somehowe there is not a lot information on this. Usually the advice is to study humor or start doing improvisation theater. But humor on stage is very different from humor that one can use spontaneously in social situations. I am member of an improviasation theater team and although it did wonders for my self-confidence, my humor skills in day-to-day conversations are still average.

Has anyone tips for how to train this skill, being spontaneously humorous in social situations?

seeker5 · 03-17-2009, 03:09 PM

A number of years ago, for a while I watched daily some comedy shows daily on TV. Shows such as the Jon Stewert's Daily Show, Jay Leno tonight show and Whose line is it. I found myself much better able to joke around after having spent a few months watching those shows. It was like osmosis.

AGBourne · 03-17-2009, 06:18 PM

Its about being witty with a hint of sarcasm.

- Don't be the one who tells jokes.
- Watch stand up comedy
- Don't over-analyze, which could be the biggest hurdle to overcome

SimonaRich · 03-17-2009, 09:33 PM

Just become more relaxed and care less about what others think of you, and you will naturally become more humorous.

jtracy · 03-17-2009, 09:44 PM

I have found that people are usually the funniest when they are not trying to be humorous but just doing what comes naturally.
The other thing to keep in mind is that what is funny to one person might be stupid or offensive to another. We all have our own ideas about what is humorous and what is not, so you need to be sensitive of the other person and the situation if you are actively trying to be funny.

Dan.Linehan · 03-17-2009, 10:31 PM

What seeker5 said -- just hang around funny / outrageous people. You'll pick it up right off without even trying.

Banter is just practice.

Big C · 03-17-2009, 10:45 PM

Just be natural and observant, some of the best comedy can be observational regarding normal everyday things.

Pequod · 03-18-2009, 01:12 PM

Thanks for the advice.

Indeed I've noticed that when I'm relaxt and not really paying attention to what I say, people perceive my remarks as more humorous.

As BigC said, usally observational humor works very well. But even when I'm relaxt etc, I still could be better in translating what I see in a humorous remark. Does anyone know a book or website about this stuff?

Or is the only thing to become (more) relaxt in social interactions?

Halffull · 03-18-2009, 09:57 PM

Laughter is really a state of mind. If you can learn to direct peoples emotions toward this state, then the actual content of your humor won't matter much.

vMike · 03-19-2009, 12:57 AM

watch scrubs and friends, but beware, it's highly addictive

Pequod · 03-19-2009, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Halffull

Laughter is really a state of mind. If you can learn to direct peoples emotions toward this state, then the actual content of your humor won't matter much.

Could you elaborate on that? I've noticed that when I'm in rapport with others and feeling like laughing, that others will be laughing more too. Is that what you mean?

And how does one direct peoples emotions toward this state consciously? In my case it only happens spontaneously.

Halffull · 03-20-2009, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pequod

Could you elaborate on that? I've noticed that when I'm in rapport with others and feeling like laughing, that others will be laughing more too. Is that what you mean?

And how does one direct peoples emotions toward this state consciously? In my case it only happens spontaneously.

Yeah, it's exactly that. Rapport + Happiness + Expectation of good reactions will lead to those good reactions in others.

RT Wolf · 03-20-2009, 02:46 AM

I was going to reply with advice, cause I'm funny in social situations. Then I realized that I never learned to be, I seem to have always been, so I have no info to offer on this topic. The best I've got is that the atmosphere can make things funny and so can the people that you're hanging out with. Finally, learn to tell stories. Stories are the bread and butter of human interaction and that's a skill that can always be improved.

If you wanna see a great example of funny stories check out An Evening with Kevin Smith. A few here: an evening with kevin smith - Google Video

Hmm, maybe I should go watch that again, it was really funny. You don't have to copy his style, and developing your own will take practice and experimentation, but it's totally possible.

Pequod · 03-22-2009, 05:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RT Wolf

I was going to reply with advice, cause I'm funny in social situations. Then I realized that I never learned to be, I seem to have always been, so I have no info to offer on this topic. The best I've got is that the atmosphere can make things funny and so can the people that you're hanging out with. Finally, learn to tell stories. Stories are the bread and butter of human interaction and that's a skill that can always be improved.

If you wanna see a great example of funny stories check out An Evening with Kevin Smith. A few here: an evening with kevin smith - Google Video

Hmm, maybe I should go watch that again, it was really funny. You don't have to copy his style, and developing your own will take practice and experimentation, but it's totally possible.

hahaha that was hilarious, especially after the first few minutes. This guy knows how to tell a story.

nivedita · 08-07-2010, 05:25 PM

Hello Every one.

The Suggestions made by all at the forum are pretty interesting . I would apply some, and try to be humorous. But i think i have a long way to go.........

Thanks

Bazza · 08-07-2010, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dan.Linehan

What seeker5 said -- just hang around funny / outrageous people. You'll pick it up right off without even trying.

Banter is just practice.

this is how i learnt to be funny

Quote:

Originally Posted by vMike

watch scrubs and friends, but beware, it's highly addictive

I love scrubs!! Also boston legal is right up there!
Oh and i will leave you with my favourite joke (even though its rarely funny)

"Whats green and has 4 wheels?"

"What?"

"Grass, I lied about the wheels!!!!"

Not funny, but its stupidity still manages to crack me up!!!!!!
Good luck

elucidate · 08-08-2010, 03:11 AM

I think if you just relax, but remain open to social queues that almost BEG for a funny pun or witty comment to be said, then that's the key...for me anyway.

Not intending to be funny but staying open for any moment when something can be said that will fit right into the context of the conversation...but it just slips out.

Practising online on this forum, has been a big help for me.

elucidate · 08-08-2010, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SimonaRich

Just become more relaxed and care less about what others think of you, and you will naturally become more humorous.

This is the best state of mind to be in for funniness.

03-17-2009, 11:59 AM	#1 (permalink)
Pequod Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 294	How to be humorous in social situations? I'd like to be more fluent in social interactions by having better humor skills that I can use in day-to-day conversations with friends, collegues etc. Somehowe there is not a lot information on this. Usually the advice is to study humor or start doing improvisation theater. But humor on stage is very different from humor that one can use spontaneously in social situations. I am member of an improviasation theater team and although it did wonders for my self-confidence, my humor skills in day-to-day conversations are still average. Has anyone tips for how to train this skill, being spontaneously humorous in social situations?

08-07-2010, 05:25 PM	#15 (permalink)
nivedita Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Posts: 1	Hi!!! Hello Every one. The Suggestions made by all at the forum are pretty interesting . I would apply some, and try to be humorous. But i think i have a long way to go......... Thanks

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Social Anxiety or lack of Social Skills?	jcase4	Social & Relationships	11	01-04-2010 01:22 AM
Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contest - Appropriate Topic?	Bing Wu	Personal Effectiveness	8	11-25-2009 06:17 PM
Humorous speech contest	munish	Fun & Recreation	4	09-17-2008 08:08 PM
Was I dumb in these situations? Analizing past social encounters...	SuperDuperDude	Social & Relationships	6	08-31-2007 05:13 PM
Humorous Speech Contest (blog)	dalante	Steve Pavlina	1	12-19-2006 03:06 PM

03-17-2009, 03:09 PM	#2 (permalink)
seeker5 Family Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 3,606	A number of years ago, for a while I watched daily some comedy shows daily on TV. Shows such as the Jon Stewert's Daily Show, Jay Leno tonight show and Whose line is it. I found myself much better able to joke around after having spent a few months watching those shows. It was like osmosis.

03-17-2009, 06:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
AGBourne Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 101	Its about being witty with a hint of sarcasm. - Don't be the one who tells jokes. - Watch stand up comedy - Don't over-analyze, which could be the biggest hurdle to overcome

03-17-2009, 09:33 PM	#4 (permalink)
SimonaRich Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: London, United Kingdom Posts: 912	Just become more relaxed and care less about what others think of you, and you will naturally become more humorous.

03-17-2009, 09:44 PM	#5 (permalink)
jtracy Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 159	I have found that people are usually the funniest when they are not trying to be humorous but just doing what comes naturally. The other thing to keep in mind is that what is funny to one person might be stupid or offensive to another. We all have our own ideas about what is humorous and what is not, so you need to be sensitive of the other person and the situation if you are actively trying to be funny.

03-17-2009, 10:31 PM	#6 (permalink)
Dan.Linehan Family Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: San Rafael, CA Posts: 4,896	What seeker5 said -- just hang around funny / outrageous people. You'll pick it up right off without even trying. Banter is just practice.

03-17-2009, 10:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Big C Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Manchester Posts: 35	Just be natural and observant, some of the best comedy can be observational regarding normal everyday things.

03-18-2009, 01:12 PM	#8 (permalink)
Pequod Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 294	Thanks for the advice. Indeed I've noticed that when I'm relaxt and not really paying attention to what I say, people perceive my remarks as more humorous. As BigC said, usally observational humor works very well. But even when I'm relaxt etc, I still could be better in translating what I see in a humorous remark. Does anyone know a book or website about this stuff? Or is the only thing to become (more) relaxt in social interactions?

03-18-2009, 09:57 PM	#9 (permalink)
Halffull Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 158	Laughter is really a state of mind. If you can learn to direct peoples emotions toward this state, then the actual content of your humor won't matter much.

03-19-2009, 12:57 AM	#10 (permalink)
vMike Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 462	watch scrubs and friends, but beware, it's highly addictive

03-20-2009, 02:46 AM	#13 (permalink)
RT Wolf Family Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Toronto, Canuckland Posts: 1,737	I was going to reply with advice, cause I'm funny in social situations. Then I realized that I never learned to be, I seem to have always been, so I have no info to offer on this topic. The best I've got is that the atmosphere can make things funny and so can the people that you're hanging out with. Finally, learn to tell stories. Stories are the bread and butter of human interaction and that's a skill that can always be improved. If you wanna see a great example of funny stories check out An Evening with Kevin Smith. A few here: an evening with kevin smith - Google Video Hmm, maybe I should go watch that again, it was really funny. You don't have to copy his style, and developing your own will take practice and experimentation, but it's totally possible.

08-08-2010, 03:11 AM	#17 (permalink)
elucidate Banned Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 12,751	I think if you just relax, but remain open to social queues that almost BEG for a funny pun or witty comment to be said, then that's the key...for me anyway. Not intending to be funny but staying open for any moment when something can be said that will fit right into the context of the conversation...but it just slips out. Practising online on this forum, has been a big help for me.

Personal Development for Smart PeopleTM Forums

Personal Development for Smart People^TM Forums