Sticking Up for myself

[coLLege kid07]

I feel I am not very experienced in this area, and feel eventually I will run up against this with some of the people I know. I was wondering if anyone has some tips or advice that would help me with this. Thanks.

[Yellow]

This is a very broad question. I will try to answer it the way I understand it. But firstly, congratulations for recognizing it and taking steps to overcome it.

The very necessary first step is LISTEN to yourself. Listen to how you feel in a certain situation. Don't let your feelings get muddled up with what you think you should do. For example, if someone is being passive-aggressive (as opposed to direct because it is much easier to stand up to a clear sense of threat) to get their way with you, notice how it makes you feel. Don't second guess your feeling with how it is not a big deal or they may not be intending to make you feel that way. They may not and you can be wrong, so it is not a good idea to make that judgement without asking that person. Once you've realized that feeling, share it with the person. Tell them that you're not feeling very good because of the way they're treating you, that you feel they are being manipulative and you don't appreciate it. I believe most people do a lot of those things without realizing it. Once you point it out, they will take a moment to think about it. If they don't stop and continue, because you have already verbalized your feeling and SEEN them not change, you will feel much better about sticking with your feeling and acting accordingly.

Obviously that is just one situation. What is most important in standing up for yourself is paying attention to your needs and how something makes you feel. Once you know it does not make you feel good, you will know you need to do something about it.

If you have problems saying something after recognizing that something is wrong then you will need to dig deeper as to why that is.

Good luck with it!

[Creed]

Hmmm..... it depends on what your up against, physical, mental or social ?

I find good friends are the best way to come out of your shell, having people you can trust works for all three, the word (No) helps, it's short, easy to say and in most situations it's your final answer.

Other then that Yellow made some great points for you....

[Mr_A]

Do you get angry and show it?
im gonna make a Assumption and say I don't think you do

You see people who know how to get angry don't have a problem standing up for themselves.
And its usually the people who don't how to get angry or express anger in a healthy way that end up exploding shooting up a school or being a serial killer.