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03-10-2009, 05:07 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 15
 |  Stick a flag and run away
While talking to a good friend of mine, he brought up the posibility that I'm not looking for a relationship, just love to conquer the guy I'm interested in so I can prove it to myself that I can. I had a date with a guy whom I really liked for months before. On out second date he kissed me and poof! All my feeling for him were gone. Ten minutes earlier I was so into him and now nothing. The same thing happened with other guys too. I cannot explain it, maybe you can? I'm being unreasonable and have no idea why I'm acting this way. |
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03-10-2009, 05:49 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Member Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 93
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Sounds like your friend could be right. Or he was a really bad kisser! You enjoy the challenge of trying to make someone like you, but once you've done it, the challenge is gone. Let's think about this a different way. How do you feel when someone likes you first? |
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03-13-2009, 12:26 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: east coast, USA
Posts: 1,405
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It could be anything. It could be a fear of intimacy right now. It could be you haven't healed from a bad experience. It could be you had sexual abuse or rape in the past and the sexual situation triggers the 'run away' response. Can you think about it and tell us more?
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03-13-2009, 05:28 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 341
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What do you expect of the relationship? What are the top priorities? How high is validation or adventure on this list?
__________________ Ralphdudek.com - Consciously Pursuing Your Heart's Desire Extreme caution advised! Entering may result in intense growth! |
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03-14-2009, 04:27 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| Junior Member Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 15
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There has been some sort of sexual abuse in my past, but it's something I've lately became forgivful about (understanding that what've left of it are just bitterness and anger. You cannot change the past, but you can learn from it). All the guys I know have no intention of hurting me, not deliberately anyway. I'm very very careful about the guys (and people overall) I'm involved with. I'm really trying not to let my past influence my present. This guy I was talking about, I knew him for a year before we've dated. I know he's a gentleman and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. I trust him. That's why I cannot understand why I was acting that way. And what do I expect of the relationship? I'm a hopeless romantic. I looking for someone who I can feel comfortable with, someone I could be expoused to, bare, transparent. Someone I can fully trust in. Someone that's gonna make me cry of joy, be thankful for. Someone who I know has meant for me and was worth, so worth, waiting for (I'm 22). This kind: YouTube - "That's How You Know" from Disney's ENCHANTED (Full Clip) Naive, fairytale-ly, I know. But that's it. |
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