I feel guilty, not sure I should.

[iiswhiob]

Well it's been a while now since my girlfriend left me. And I haven't spoken to her since right before christmas. She thought I did not care for her when I actually really did, and unfortunately, I still hurt about it. But I think she lied to me. Not sure but I strongly feel like she cheated. Regardless she left and got with someone soon after. I feel guilty because from being upset I tried to get her to tell me exactly what happened and how she felt. She promised me that she will never sleep with him but i don't believe that and even so, why would she tell me this. She also swore that she loves me. I'm not sure about that either. I think she's now close to who she is with. Although I feel betrayed and angered for I held her so close to my heart. I feel like it won't go away until I tell her that I forgive her for everything. And that if I love her I should be able to let her be happy regardless of her bad choices. I also feel like not talking to her is turning my back on her. But every-time I talk to her, it just becomes drama. Or she assumes it's an effort to get her back. So I don't know how to tell her. I just want it to be over. I'm talking to girls and it doesn't even mean anything. I don't want to be angry or feel betrayed anymore.

Should I just tell her..

P.S. I asked for forgiveness for any wrong on my part. don't assume I think I'm perfect.

[yossarian]

I also feel like not talking to her is turning my back on her.

It's not. Your devotion is laudable but it sounds like you need to face reality and start taking steps toward finding happiness inside yourself. If you personally aren't in a state of joy and peace, what are you going to offer to others?

The first step is probably cutting off communication for at least several months. You can always talk to her again in the future, but until you're feeling better, cutting off contact seems like the only practical course of action.

[iiswhiob]

Insomnia kicked in hard tonight.Anyway.
I hadn't spoken to her for about a month before December, when I had requested that she gives back something that I had given to her as we had agreed. She insisted that we talk and become friends. And so I did, and I made an effort but she started playing games again, telling me she's busy and making me have to make an effort so I just explained that I'm not up for it if it's not mutual. Not to mention I did not get back what I asked for even though she said she would give it back. I just told her to keep it. It became a back and forth thing and I got tired of it.
I haven't spoken to her since. So it's been well over two months.

This may sound contradictory but, I am at peace with myself. Well I was until tonight. I've been doing good, learning about people, girls in particular and just living my life. The thought that I gave in so much into the relationship at her request for her to do what she did is always at the back of my mind every time I talk to a girl. So I end up shooting myself in the foot before it can go anywhere sometimes. I guess I feel like what's the point, she'll just turn out the same way. But at the same time until tonight I haven't been worried or sad @ all. I've been happy and felt like I have progressed. Truth is when I really sit down and think about it, she wasn't good for me, and chances are she won't change for a while if ever. I think mostly because of her age. I've been trying to practice LOA, and it's so effective and responsive it's scary. But since these thoughts are still in me I feel like I can't do much. It's almost 5 months now, I'm just tired of it. I want it gone and in the past. Whether she comes back or not is not my concern anymore.

[iiswhiob]

Yesterday out of the blue my ex sent me a text message saying 'hey how are you doing.' Considering I had sent her an email a few days ago saying I forgive all that she had done, and that it's her choice whether she ever talks to me or not. She barely checks her emails last I remember that's why I did it that way and decided not to contact her ever. I was nice and responded to the text asking how she has been, then she sent another calling me sexy. This is weird because she never talked to me that way before. I responded asking if she is sure who she's talking to, but she hasn't responded.

I figured the smart thing to do is not go after her like before, not try and find out what she wanted, just let her come to me whatever the reason may be.
But it sort of looks like she's playing games again. My position is I would only get back together if I can tell that she's changed and realized all the things that I had told her and warned her about. If not and she hasn't grown up yet then I leave things be as they are.

Is my approach smart?