30 Day Challange-Do not contact the EX!

[Billiardsguy2006]

Without going into too much detail, my ex broke up with me without any consideration for my feelings. I really want her back though. I've read that the best way towards getting your ex back is to follow certain guidelines-one of them is not contacting your ex for 30 days. This will give us space to breathe and put everything into perspective.

[Billiardsguy2006]

Today is the first day that I haven't contacted my ex. It was very difficult. I slept most of the day. When I got up, I distracted myself by chatting online and going into the forums.

Tomorrow, I'm going to sign up for the gym.

[echo]

First steps are always the most difficult. Just focus on getting past that part, and dive into things that will take and keep your mind off of it. This helps you move on.

[carenkh]

I wonder how much would shift for you if you dropped the thought that this was a way to get your ex back? It seems like with that dangling over your intentions and actions, you're holding back on some freedom.

[JSB]

Originally Posted by carenkh

I wonder how much would shift for you if you dropped the thought that this was a way to get your ex back? It seems like with that dangling over your intentions and actions, you're holding back on some freedom.

Good point. if you look at this as valuable for you and your healing and independence, you will be able to move forward from the breakup more easily. Plus, if she DOES contact you, you will be coming from a more stable, stronger place.

It's a strange, but exes often seem to come back after you've gotten over them.

[goodstyles]

Originally Posted by JSB

It's a strange, but exes often seem to come back after you've gotten over them.

I have found 9 times out of 10, they always come back. In one form or another. That is assuming you're not a complete prick and you did in-fact treat them with a fair amount of respect.

Anyways, 'Billiardsguy', 'carenkh' hit the nail on the head when she said that your focus might be your limitation here. One way to look at this 30 day trial is to think of it as a space or pause in your life, that will allow for you to pick up some of the slack that has developed in your personal life. Invariably, when we're in a relationship, priorities change and usually the first things to go in an unhealthy relationship are the things that we have passion for and contribute to our growth, in some way.

Take the 30 days, goto the gym as you said you would, try to remember what your passions were/are and focus on them a bit. Rejuvenate old friendships that could do with a more dedicated focus. Reboot and refresh and you may well find after 30 days that were your ex to call you, that you have moved on so far as to not want to return to the way things were.

And an important point to note is that you do this 30-day growth trial for yourself and not in-spite of your ex and anyone else. Own it.

It's never easy, and I wish you the best with it.

[carpediem23]

My girlfriend and I recentlybroke up and last night and it was the longest night as I could not sleep and I want so bad to call her and contact her but I know I shouldn't. I feel almost in a panic to want to talk to her

[carpediem23]

Originally Posted by goodstyles

I have found 9 times out of 10, they always come back. In one form or another. That is assuming you're not a complete prick and you did in-fact treat them with a fair amount of respect.

Anyways, 'Billiardsguy', 'carenkh' hit the nail on the head when she said that your focus might be your limitation here. One way to look at this 30 day trial is to think of it as a space or pause in your life, that will allow for you to pick up some of the slack that has developed in your personal life. Invariably, when we're in a relationship, priorities change and usually the first things to go in an unhealthy relationship are the things that we have passion for and contribute to our growth, in some way.

Take the 30 days, goto the gym as you said you would, try to remember what your passions were/are and focus on them a bit. Rejuvenate old friendships that could do with a more dedicated focus. Reboot and refresh and you may well find after 30 days that were your ex to call you, that you have moved on so far as to not want to return to the way things were.

And an important point to note is that you do this 30-day growth trial for yourself and not in-spite of your ex and anyone else. Own it.

It's never easy, and I wish you the best with it.

[neilward2]

Read this:

Get the x girlfriend or x boyfriend back

Enjoy : )

[Lyricallye]

Originally Posted by carenkh

I wonder how much would shift for you if you dropped the thought that this was a way to get your ex back? It seems like with that dangling over your intentions and actions, you're holding back on some freedom.

This is good. Yea, unfortunately your feeding that situation energy by taking the effort to not contact. Let time pass...that's the good part of what you're doing...but you have things to learn about why she left you..and thus how you could evolve and maybe have a shot at getting her back. At the very least you may learn what she needs out of a relationship you cannot or will not give. Remember, sometimes people want impossible things of us so maybe it's good to have lost them. Sad but true.